I rode a funt-cart.
It wouldn't go very fast.
It was at Wal-Mart.
Oh wait, no, I'm wrong.
It was one of those "Rascals".
The seat smelled funny.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Quantum particles
swerve inappropriately
whilst navigating.
by the way of the scoundrel
Holiday photos
Mall Santa popped a boner
Mugshot portrait now
by Elf Dentist
Oxen pull funt-cart
Through the wastelands of Haiku
Loaded full of Funt.
by Funt-Cart of Mottypouth
Bad Haiku website
symptomatic of our time:
pottymouth trash-talk
by Darth Kitten Starpucker of Excrementally Underwhelmed
With that being said
With that being said...No more!!
With that being said
by Annoying person
Ronald McDonald
He's got an orange schmeckle
Just like that Trump clown
by Oompa Loompa watcher
Salami dildo
Delicatessen window
Dinner and a show
by New York Mona of New Jersey
Since the last update
Forecast calls for more poems
Chance of urine floods
by Whiskey sip of Barstool
Tortoise Turdle Turd
Chomping lettuce. Daydreaming.
Popping a boner
by I'd rather not say
Mailman Piggy Back!
Nude Ambush. Caught him off guard
No bath salts involved
by High On Life (backflip) of Front Yard!
We're staunch characters
S-T-A-U-N-C-H
And we tap dance, too
by Anonymous Poet
Class action lawsuit
Bad Roosters! Mosquitoes Fraud!
Yowling Cats will pay!!
by Attorney of Cuntfart Cuntfart & Cunt Ltd
human albumin
Slippery banana peels
I smell a lawsuit
by Attorney of Law Offices of cuntfart cuntfart & cunt
Roosters attacked me.
Goddamn tortoise ate a turd.
Cats yelling for food.
Killed three mosquitoes.
The flies were too quick for me.
Pouring rain again.
Kids either fussing
or playing video games.
Waste away their lives.
Here I write haiku.
And that's oh so meaningful.
Why won't God kill me?!
by df
McOyVeyDonald's.
Kosher Bacon Cheeseburgers.
Ronald's McMosheh.
When Christ was a lad
he got the happy meals.
Comes with free dreidel.
by df
Reverberations
Wind passed on the veranda
Crouching low, cat-like
by Porch shitter of Porch
Yesterday....Today....
We didn't ask for this crap.
Maybe tomorrow...
by Earthling of Earth
Jesus, son of God
Never tasted McDonald's
He really missed out
by Grimace
all things considered
some folks think it is the end
so there's mark taylor
by vhs
And end with a fart
by Anonymous Poet
Once upon a Figpucker
by Anonymous Poet
All stories will start
by Hans Atheist Anderson
I hope that I know when I'm going to die so that I can post on Farcebook, I AM DARTH FIGPUCKER, to shame my whole family. That way they will hate me and not mourn me at all. Save them the trouble. Cremate me, flush my ashes down the nearest toilet. Save money that way.
by df
I miss elections.
I used to shit on porches
of republicans.
Never shat in sinks.
I mean, why waste a good turd?
Each turd can be art!
by df of Express Thyself!
Of course I'm joking.
My life: haiku, sudoku.
Sudoku, haiku.
No nipple biting.
the bee's knees and wasp's nipples.
Erogenous bugs.
I realized something.
Being immortal would suck.
I feel bad for God.
God or the Devil.
They will never know the end.
And its sweet release.
by df
So much backed up shit
Procrastinating colon
I
by Overheard of Public Restroom
Nivea fetish
A self proclaimed sink shitter
That guy has small feet
by Census Taker
Please bite my nipples.
Go ahead and make them bleed.
It's better than milk.
by df
When feeling useless,
and you have nothing to say,
blow it out your ass.
Or write a haiku.
The whole world will be amazed.
I am so awesome!
by DARTH SHRINKING BRAIN FIGPUCKER of I would like some brain parasites to go with my head injury. Maybe I could forget my wife.
It's like the Cups song
Except you use cut off dicks
Miss 'em when they're gone
by Anonymous Poet
Spend our lives waiting
The suspense is killing me
I can hardly wait
by Anonymous Poet
Good Old Ceiling Cat
He's been watching you do that
And that's an eyeful
by Anonymous Poet
In the waiting room
That's where we do our waiting
We're in here waiting
by Waitstaff of Waiting Room
Let me show you
My intergluteal cleft
Conversation piece
by Anonymous Poet
Boner compass
Lost in the town of Pleasure
Tiny hands. Raking.
by Anonymous Poet
Ass gas no jiggle
Always welcome for dinner
It's All You Can Eat
by Anonymous Poet
I hate statistics.
Even more than statistics,
I hate stats teachers.
I hypothesize
that your ass is hippo-sized.
Supersized your fries.
by df of hypothesize this!
Neither one wore clothes.
They toed each other asses.
More so at dinner.
by df
All the oceans depths
can't contain the filth that flows
from our bad haiku.
Warn the EPA!
Eviscerated Poets
Abnormality.
or something
by df
Putrid waters flow . . .
All filth washed away to sea.
Hail, cleansing ocean!
by Figpucker's body fluids mixed with solid waste of Starkitten's library
In the waiting room
A perfect time for Haiku
But what shall I say?
by Anonymous Poet
You're levitating!
Oh wait, it's just your penis
Not a magician
by Hairy Houdini
Urinate Freestyle
Full Bladder Parkour. Rad.
Piss everyone off
by I.P Freely of Everywhere
I have peed in sinks.
Only in public restrooms.
Never my own house.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
As for the toilet
Nothing is perfect. Cracked seat
Matches my cracked seat
Ever peed in a sink?
by Urine Goodhands
In with the In Crowd
Bagels and Lox In forehead
Pocky sticks in nose
by Booger Picker of Radioactivity
Haiku decompose
The Orient shopping mall
Lies, lies and more LIES.
by Jap Conformists of Nipponese plastic
Because you are you
by Not Edie Brickell
Just because you
by Anonymous Poet
