BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
9 Days
and
61053 Haikus
later...
Oh Haiku warriors,
compose yourselves. Get ready.
Battle commences.
Haiku #59309, by Sukiyaki-san of Shinjuku
September 11, 2018 8:48 am ET

I do not love you.
In fact, I think I hate you.
Lets go home and fuck.
Haiku #59308, by
September 11, 2018 3:46 am ET

You're my only friend
And I'm not sure you like me
At least I have that
Haiku #59307, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 9:53 pm ET

Saw you standing there
All covered with Bad Haiku
Sandpaper tongue bath
Haiku #59306, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest All Cat Day Spa
September 10, 2018 8:41 pm ET

Do you knit doll clothes?
No, these are penis sweaters.
What size will you need?
Haiku #59305, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Custom Knit Penis Sweaters
September 10, 2018 8:35 pm ET

Visit our kiosk
Conveniently located
In my dog's rear end
Haiku #59304, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anal Poolius 10 % Discount for Tortoises
September 10, 2018 8:25 pm ET

Protein shake,my friend
Refreshment from dog's back end
Anal Julius
Haiku #59303, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Friendly Librarians
September 10, 2018 8:09 pm ET

Isn't it strange the way tortoises will eat dog poop. What do they know that I do not? Am I missing something here? Please research this and let me know. Anxiously awaiting your answer.
Haiku #59302, by
September 10, 2018 7:57 pm ET

Bask in full moon glow
Levitation. Magic show
Think it's gonna blow..
Haiku #59301, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 7:21 pm ET

ok mooning the moon
which rise do we rise to
in this occasion?
Haiku #59300, by vhs of spring
September 10, 2018 6:52 pm ET

Wind lift soft music
Whisker Koto. Gentle strum..
Moon Rise. See my bum!
Haiku #59299, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 6:29 pm ET

Beneath the willow
Hidden Moon on full display
No Kimono Show
Haiku #59298, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Show Cat
September 10, 2018 6:20 pm ET

Willow branches bend
My favorite of all God's trees.
Weeping and sighing
Haiku #59297, by Arboreal delerium of cheap Haiku
September 10, 2018 5:22 pm ET

Cannot glimpse your moon
Clouds have obscured the beauty
Lunar betrayal
Haiku #59296, by Intimations of lunar DOOM
September 10, 2018 5:17 pm ET

The Captain's Nosehair
All hands on deck! Pull, me hearties!
Wait! That's not his nose!
Haiku #59295, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Sea Adventures of Yesteryear
September 10, 2018 4:09 pm ET

Joke on you. Your shoe.
Naughty tree. Saved bag of poop
For certain person
Haiku #59294, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Arbor Day's of Our Lives Tree Soap Opera
September 10, 2018 4:03 pm ET

Willow tree, bending
Thoughtfully scooping, bagging
The dog shit you left
Haiku #59293, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Tree Huggers
September 10, 2018 4:00 pm ET

I'm throwing doughnuts
Unintentional Ring Toss
As you walk by nude
Haiku #59292, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Fun and Games
September 10, 2018 3:27 pm ET

Let me sketch you nude
Don't move. Got no art supplies
Just a dirty mnd
Haiku #59291, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Life Drawing for Agoraphobic Remote Viewers
September 10, 2018 3:22 pm ET

Look up! Balloon Boy!!
That little bastard again!
Fly into the sun!!!!
Haiku #59290, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 3:08 pm ET

It's going as planned
My Bill Murray voodoo doll
Is working just fine
Haiku #59289, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 3:03 pm ET

How's your day so far?
Are we having fun yet? Yes?
Showing you Full Moon
Haiku #59288, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:56 pm ET

I won't eat donuts.
Can't digest them anymore.
Donut burps for hours . . .
Haiku #59287, by Celestial schoolbus swerves off of road
September 10, 2018 2:54 pm ET

Continued Outside
Laying in wait for mailman
Nude Bearhug Today!!
Haiku #59286, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bath Salts
September 10, 2018 2:52 pm ET

Starkitten rising
luminous and poetic
behold the moonglow
Haiku #59285, by Buttcheeks against window of of celestial school bus
September 10, 2018 2:51 pm ET

Did I forget pants?
Cartwheeling. Releasing gas.
Maniacal Laugh!!!
Haiku #59284, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:36 pm ET

That kind of morning.
Hula hooping robot dance!
David Lee Roth flip!!
Haiku #59283, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Wildcat
September 10, 2018 2:33 pm ET

I want to moon you
I think we'll be best friends then
Once we get past that
Haiku #59282, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bum Show offs
September 10, 2018 2:29 pm ET

I can't lie to you
Haiku makes me feel sneaky
Right down to my bones
Haiku #59281, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Haiku Wierdos
September 10, 2018 2:25 pm ET

Bring me some doughnuts
Plain, Glazed, Chocolate, Jelly filled
I want the real deal
Haiku #59280, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:20 pm ET

Found his Dad's yearbook:
Most likely to smote people
Had a Nerd Haircut
Haiku #59279, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 1:47 pm ET

He rode dinosaurs
Sidesaddle, giving peace sign
Way cool sandals, bro
Haiku #59278, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Jesus Trivia
September 10, 2018 1:43 pm ET

In an insane world
Compulsive Haiku writing
Makes things more insane
Haiku #59277, by Uselessness of orientalized forms
September 10, 2018 12:34 pm ET

Hey you, Free-Thinker:
I am for your liberty.
Do we hate same things?
Haiku #59276, by Koalitions of Konvenience
September 10, 2018 10:41 am ET

There's no God today.
There was no God yesterday.
Tomorrow, same-same.
Haiku #59275, by Jesus the Barbarian
September 10, 2018 10:34 am ET

Be nice. Don't offend.
Christian virtue-signaling:
Church of the Milque-Toast
Haiku #59274, by Eternal sleep of the "Woke"
September 10, 2018 9:20 am ET

stand up sit down kneel
not the church militant
but the church calisthenic
Haiku #59273, by vhs
September 10, 2018 8:56 am ET

Some cucumbers scream
When they can't find parking space
And they're running late
Haiku #59272, by Myriad roles of cucumbers
September 10, 2018 8:47 am ET

The cucumber screams
with the pleasure of being
a mere cucumber
Haiku #59271, by Garden of Eatin'
September 10, 2018 8:43 am ET

Carrots scream because
their color has been usurped
by the Evil Trump
Haiku #59270, by POTUS literal incarnation of all evil in universe
September 10, 2018 8:37 am ET

At what point did the downfall of the human race begin? Was it any one event? Or a series of catastrophic failures?
My spoon is too big.
Haiku #59269, by Anonymous Poet
September 10, 2018 7:39 am ET

If you don't believe
me about screaming carrots,
ask Reverend Maynard.
Haiku #59268, by df
September 10, 2018 7:37 am ET

Cucumbers don't scream.
Unless my wife uses one
to pleasure herself.

Carrots scream when picked.
I scream when I pick my nose.
Goddamn nose hair plucked.
Haiku #59267, by df
September 10, 2018 7:34 am ET

A bedtime hotdog
That should help you fall asleep
Nice to meet you, Frank
Haiku #59266, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 11:26 pm ET

Demi Moore loves most
Having relations with ghosts
Must have a sixth sense
Haiku #59265, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 11:22 pm ET

he insists that she
be he and he be she and
ying yanks each ones yang
Haiku #59264, by vhs
September 9, 2018 10:51 pm ET

"Not a restful sleep
When dreaming of erections"
-Pippi Longstocking
Haiku #59263, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ikea
September 9, 2018 10:43 pm ET

Blowing Bjorn? Benny?
Side dish choices are many.
Hot Swedish Meatballs

Treat for French Poodles
And atop wide egg noodles
Some folks swallow whole
Haiku #59262, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 10:29 pm ET

Sweden still asleep
Dreaming of their own demise
By diversity
Haiku #59261, by Results of their election ?
September 9, 2018 9:18 pm ET

Big wet hairy deal;
When I am drunk I cannot feel
But I make her squeal !
Haiku #59260, by Diminished sensation of sensual excitation
September 9, 2018 9:15 pm ET