Bad Haiku

right, i accept me
i have fun here, im having
fun, you cant steal that

and im kinda evil myself so you
got good company

Haiku #57964, by vhs
January 23, 2018 11:25 am ET

Accept it Donnie
Smart people do not like you
Go back to your hole

Haiku #57963, by Anonymous Poet
January 23, 2018 8:18 am ET

dont get me started
on green girls with dymbionts on
their heads who were mages

but got turned into
horrors but sort of back into
themselves but still green

Haiku #57962, by vhs
January 22, 2018 11:13 pm ET

well that dick joke came
from under the bridge but i aint
no billy goats gruff

Haiku #57961, by vhs
January 22, 2018 11:10 pm ET

I didn't love her
when she used to be pretty.
And now that she's fat...

Haiku #57960, by
January 22, 2018 2:12 pm ET

I'd be filthy rich
if being an asshole were
a real profession.

Haiku #57959, by
January 22, 2018 2:09 pm ET

vhs, do you
let your penis dangle out
of your zipper when

walking in public?

Haiku #57958, by
January 22, 2018 2:02 pm ET

Rancid queef biscuits.
Arby's roast beef sandwiches.
Massengill sauce.

Haiku #57957, by
January 22, 2018 2:00 pm ET

youre just being a
vogon or impersonating
me pissed off on

something stupid :p

Haiku #57956, by vhs
January 22, 2018 1:11 pm ET

I have been at this
for almost an hour now.
That is good enough.

Haiku #57955, by Anonymous Poet
January 22, 2018 5:46 am ET

Defibrillated
x-rated elongated
Frankenstein scandal.

Haiku #57954, by
January 22, 2018 5:44 am ET

You should memorize
the periodic table
by tomorrow night.

Haiku #57953, by
January 22, 2018 5:40 am ET

How long can one live
on a diet of Cheetos
and Dr. Pepper?

Haiku #57952, by
January 22, 2018 5:35 am ET

History channel
trailer park Pabst Blue Ribbon
armchair physicist.

Haiku #57951, by
January 22, 2018 5:32 am ET

Laser genital
surgical reconstruction
balloon animals.

Haiku #57950, by
January 22, 2018 5:27 am ET

I will burn in hell.
The fiery pits await.
I'll read my poems.

The other sinners
will scream with pure agony
to hear my verses.

Satan will love me.
We will be the best of pals.
My demon buddy.

Haiku #57949, by
January 22, 2018 5:19 am ET

You think it's bad, but
it's not the Lord's name in vain
if I am sincere.

Haiku #57948, by
January 22, 2018 5:15 am ET

YouTube stole my life.
Goddamn those funny kittens.
And now I am old.

Haiku #57947, by
January 22, 2018 5:13 am ET

It's too much to ask.
I want a phone that's a phone.
Exploding Jello.

Haiku #57946, by
January 22, 2018 5:10 am ET

Fucking Java script.
It has been deemed outdated.
Google go to hell!

Haiku #57945, by
January 22, 2018 5:07 am ET

Sometimes I over-
use anthropomorphism
so I'll orgasm.

Haiku #57944, by
January 22, 2018 5:05 am ET

If ice cream could speak,
could it tell you its story
before you finish?

Haiku #57943, by
January 22, 2018 5:03 am ET

Sentient plant life.
Midichlorophyllians.
Laser weed eaters.

Haiku #57942, by
January 22, 2018 5:01 am ET

Aliens are green.
That's for photosynthesis.
They taste like lettuce.

But they lack the crunch.
Caesar dressing will not help.
Robitussin rocks!

Haiku #57941, by
January 22, 2018 4:58 am ET

Better than "Dice Clay."
Some consider him poet
I think he asshole

Haiku #57940, by Ted Nudgents sister/cousin
January 22, 2018 12:52 am ET

yes you are listen
ing to a dishwasher write
poems with mark dice

Haiku #57939, by vhs
January 21, 2018 11:31 pm ET

My wife is naive.
She thinks I'm downloading porn.
But this is much worse.

Haiku #57938, by
January 21, 2018 3:35 pm ET

i wonder what mark
dice would think of being all
up and haikued here

Haiku #57937, by vhs
January 21, 2018 12:51 pm ET

no i just forgot
i like posting self pity
stuff as an aspect

of sides of the self
wait theres more! the end times are
a comin, no mark dice!!

Haiku #57936, by vhs of CALLE 4100
January 21, 2018 11:08 am ET

trolls, where? when did those
creatures bust out of tolkien
stories got on line?

Haiku #57935, by vhs
January 21, 2018 11:05 am ET

The trolls want you gone.
So stay to make them angry.
It will be such fun.

Haiku #57934, by
January 21, 2018 8:51 am ET

i forgot about
this place, if i stop posting
i forgot this place

for good

Haiku #57933, by vhs
January 21, 2018 12:19 am ET

long after im gone
there will be someone else who
insecure, lets some

other person get
to them, not realizing they
dont have to let them

Haiku #57932, by vhs
January 21, 2018 12:17 am ET

donT make me insert
another quarter man, im
gonna beat this here game!

Haiku #57931, by vhs
January 21, 2018 12:13 am ET

maybe my life force
is running out, warrior
needs caffiene, badly

Haiku #57930, by Anonymous Poet
January 21, 2018 12:12 am ET

its friday, call me...
Maybe? Ishmael? Waiting???
tables, or Godot?

Haiku #57929, by vhs
January 21, 2018 12:09 am ET

do you know de wae
we spit on the fake queen
i draw a big pepe

Haiku #57928, by tide pod of earth-chan
January 20, 2018 10:58 pm ET

Swiper, no swiping!
Backpack, Backpack. Yum yum yum.
Where are we going?

Haiku #57927, by Skeletor of Mumm-Ra's pyramid, having a sleepover.
January 20, 2018 4:07 pm ET

A tinder Haiku
You ever see one of those?
Surprise! It's a trap

Haiku #57926, by Swipedleft
January 20, 2018 3:22 pm ET

Long after I'm gone
my bad haiku will live on.
That is such a shame.

Haiku #57925, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 12:52 pm ET

Why would a porn star
bang Donald Trump for no pay?
Ask Stormy Davis.

Haiku #57924, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 12:49 pm ET

When I go bald. Like
I mean all the way bald, friend...
No Trump combover.

Haiku #57923, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 12:47 pm ET

I ran out of space
in the middle of my last
haiku. I got distracted.

Haiku #57922, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 12:40 pm ET

Hold on just a sec...
If there's one thing I'm sure of
it's that the uni-

Haiku #57921, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 12:35 pm ET

I keep my mustard
in the fridge next to the old
takeout soy sauce packs.

Haiku #57920, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 12:27 pm ET

Look at that big wave!
What are those things way out there?
Giant bananas?!

Haiku #57919, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 12:08 pm ET

One time at band camp
my vagina ate a flute.
Nothing else to say.

Haiku #57918, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 11:58 am ET

The ocean sunfish
Mola, Mola, Mola hey!
Reduced caudal fin

Haiku #57917, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 11:48 am ET

Pee. Warm and sterile.
Oh, but dude please don't drink it,
Ureic acid.

Haiku #57916, by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
January 20, 2018 11:46 am ET

Ugandan Knuckles
boofing Tide pods for Jesus.
This is a real thing.

It is here and now.
The future is upon us.
You should be worried.

You should do something.
Instead you write poetry.
You are no warrior.

Haiku #57915, by
January 20, 2018 11:05 am ET