Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 165 Days and 77045 Haiku later...

"i don't know if it was all the dr. peppers i drank or we was in a computer program and i could do whatever i wanted...

i was fly........ing..."

Forrest Gump as the hero of the Matrix courtesy of HISHE
Haiku # 56965, July 7, 2017 7:02 pm ET
by vhs of life is like a box of re-runs
i knew a girl from
those rainbow gathering
circles, i don''t know

what she's smoking now
but she did have dreadlocks and
she was white so yo...

patchouli
Haiku # 56964, July 7, 2017 6:58 pm ET
by vhs
Sweat lodge is a good idea
I love to sauna
Been too long
Haiku # 56963, July 7, 2017 3:07 pm ET
by dvd
I don't trip
I fly
I don't do drugs
I am drugs
Haiku # 56962, July 7, 2017 3:02 pm ET
by dvd
I think they should have a new e-currency for use on porn sites:
Titcoin.
You heard it hear first.
Haiku # 56961, July 7, 2017 7:22 am ET
by df
Jesus, dvd, sounds like a Rainbow Gathering.
If such the case may be, enjoy the acid.
Wear a condom.
Know where your water comes from.
Expect lice & crabs. Bedbugs are worse.
If they have a sweat lodge, you must go.
Get naked. Own the world.
Be small.
Haiku # 56960, July 7, 2017 7:20 am ET
by df
Heidegger and Sartre, drinking poppy tea
I could've sworn last night I passed out in my van and now these guys are pouring one for me
I'll never leave the canyon cause I'm surrounded on all sides
By people writing novels and living on amusement rides

"I'm Writing a Novel"

Father John Misty
Haiku # 56959, July 6, 2017 11:18 pm ET
by dvd
why the hell can't I
post my name when i get all
wound up about the yuge

latest insight I
like to share on here i just
don't know about that
Haiku # 56958, July 6, 2017 4:01 pm ET
by vhs
there's an internet
film with a woman in Hell
in a dining room

face white, speaking back
and her head in the bowl and
camera zooms back

in "There is nuh.......thing"
Eyes close. why do so many
"atheists" do hell

so well in the arts
Sartre did a good one too
titled "No Exit"
Haiku # 56957, July 6, 2017 3:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
hmm sounds like a scene
in the movie Clerks but old
Kevin Smith...namedrop!!!
Haiku # 56956, July 6, 2017 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
Bitcoins are brilliant
Encryption seems spooky to some
Because it means privacy
Bathroom doors accomplish that
No one complains
Even though sketchy things happen
Thought I found a dead guy once
He overdosed on something
Haiku # 56955, July 6, 2017 12:44 pm ET
by dvd
Gharlane of Eddore
can refer to this bad guy
from the Lensman books

or a usenet guy
who died in 2001 from a heart
attack and he was missed
Haiku # 56954, July 6, 2017 12:43 pm ET
by vhs
the day's a wastin'
i chat with the creatures dived
down into their realm

what am i missing?
Haiku # 56953, July 6, 2017 12:39 pm ET
by vhs
I always pictured
actually HOLDING a bit coin
defeats the purpose

i suspect
Haiku # 56952, July 6, 2017 12:20 pm ET
by vhs
I'm chatting away
about the day, my pains are
just annoyances

despite the bad life
is good right now, because the
sun is up just RIGHT
Haiku # 56951, July 6, 2017 11:54 am ET
by vhs
sometimes when i see
the news i feel helpless when
i know somethings go

on in the world that
destroy lives, even if
this bad stuff exists

in the world doesn't
make it seem any less wrong
and any less lost
Haiku # 56950, July 6, 2017 11:50 am ET
by vhs
The only good thing about bears
They're shitty at sneaking up on you
They leave huge piles of shit behind
If you happen upon one that's a bit
Skinny and drooling alot
That means it's really happy to see you
Haiku # 56949, July 6, 2017 11:44 am ET
by dvd of Not Russia
that livejournal link
looks like it talks about say
steroids? not going

to go there i think
Haiku # 56948, July 6, 2017 11:14 am ET
by vhs
http://jimmycharles822.livejournal.com/
Haiku # 56947, July 6, 2017 4:35 am ET
by elliott morrison of Houston
Piloting machine
Made of flesh and bone so on
Zero chance failure

Still chances to fail
Bored of temptation myself
Metamorphosis
Haiku # 56946, July 5, 2017 11:30 pm ET
by dvd
In the native plains
A lamp among moths glowing
Misunderstanding

Interrupting not
Am I answering being
Me just being myself
Haiku # 56945, July 5, 2017 11:26 pm ET
by alfamike
maybe we should put
sriracha in the potato
salad...I'm not sure

if hot sauce is a
universally percieved
advantage in the

political arena
Haiku # 56944, July 5, 2017 8:36 pm ET
by vhs
i get it people
like fart jokes but since the date
for 4th of july

fart and fireworks
combo joke ideas is past
potato salad?

dvd...you iknow me, i eat a lot of sriracha
Haiku # 56943, July 5, 2017 8:32 pm ET
by vhs
What if you fed pigs
Nothing but bacon whole life
Would it be better?

I wonder if you'd
Need to even season it
It's bacon bacon
Haiku # 56942, July 4, 2017 9:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Pork
Knew guy that knew guy
Pooped in bag let sit awhile
Then inhaled the gas

To get high I guess
What do you even call that
No way to make cool
Haiku # 56941, July 4, 2017 9:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poop
Daydreaming today
Bernie Sanders narrating
A shoe commercial

I bet Alex Jones
Dips everything in hot sauce
Impression I get

I am all dried up
Dehydrated exhausted
My well has run dry
Haiku # 56940, July 4, 2017 8:51 pm ET
by dvd
Acid rain is a real thing, if you live near coal burning plants and industrial areas, especially.
Global warming. Car exhaust, cow methane (not farts, but intestinal gas from burps, contrary to popular belief), and heat retention from concrete and asphalt. Cow ass fault.
Over-fishing of the oceans.
The great barrier reef now dead.

Volcanoes and asteroids make me happy;
They are not our fault.

Sad (... or funny?), we have the power and technology to prevent our extinction for a billion years to come, but chose to hasten it instead.

McDonald's and cell phones and MTV and aliens on the history channel and Trump trying to kill Bert and Ernie and Mr. Rogers rolling over in his grave and Carl Sagan getting stoned and Stephen Hawking paid a prostitute to jack him off while watching Alien Covenant at the AMC theater and $500,000 was paid by Cambridge to keep it quiet. No, really!
Haiku # 56939, July 4, 2017 6:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
this is the stupid
joke i just thought of whilst wyoming
gets ready to supervolcano (latest
acid rain paranoia)

what is an Anglican minister that also specializes in ancient forensic study of ancient humans?

an episcopalentologist
Haiku # 56938, July 4, 2017 11:35 am ET
by vhs
i already know all
about these guys it''s some nuts
and they're dangerous

but what else is on my mind

yellowstone going off
north koreas antics
the problem withj Illuminati
society dividing in "The Fourth Turning"
conspiracy theory videos and the people behind them
whether i should find alex jones entertaining or dangerous or both
how boring the fake news is

but i do know two things...

a robot with 8 dicks is hilarious as hell, my ass was laughed off about that last night

and Barbara Steistand must be countered by Robert Smith

and The Dude Abides :)
Haiku # 56937, July 4, 2017 11:33 am ET
by vhs
fact:

all clowns are evil

especially if they try to entice you into the woods with promises of money
Haiku # 56936, July 3, 2017 11:14 pm ET
by clownhunter
place clowns ok:
kids birthday party

place clowns not ok:
kids bedroom closet

this is hypocrisy
clowns are inherently trustworthy
Haiku # 56935, July 3, 2017 9:57 pm ET
by american clown liberties union
*forced
Haiku # 56934, July 3, 2017 7:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The robot had penises from 8 different species,
all guaranteed to satisfy without impregnating.
She enjoyed the buffet, but then had triplets.
Buying clothes was rather difficult.
And diapers impossible.
The manufacturers have still declined to comment.
Sabotage by vhs was suspected.
Late after hours in bars only the brave are known to enter, he has been overheard muttering about how Barbara Streisand force him to do it.
The scoundrel! Faking insanity to escape prosecution.
Haiku # 56933, July 3, 2017 7:27 pm ET
by df
Lock-tite transvestite.
Parasitite hickey bite.
Mosquito blood slap.

DNA.
Do Not Ask.
You are doomed.
Go to your room.
Grounded like a drunken pilot.
Happy like a drunken sailor.
Haiku # 56932, July 2, 2017 10:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i don't think the men
who put together the Tal
mud would want this so...

I'll pass it on to you
Haiku # 56931, July 2, 2017 7:46 pm ET
by vhs
Sentience achieved
Now you punch me in the face
And call me Nancy
Haiku # 56930, July 2, 2017 12:17 pm ET
by random haiku bot of playing with gender roles
Running ketchup squeeze
Hamster oven bad combo
Mars Volta albums
Haiku # 56929, July 2, 2017 12:14 pm ET
by random haiku bot of all your captcha are belong to us
fuck you, microsoft
your internet backgammon
is a bag of shit
Haiku # 56928, July 2, 2017 7:53 am ET
by ash
To be invalid.
Rollin' atop a Rascal.
Colostomy bag.

Golden Coral night.
Chocolate fondue sirloin.
Shrimp and cheese taco.

"This is your Future."
They know it when they see me.
And go back for fourths.
Haiku # 56927, July 2, 2017 5:46 am ET
by Anotamouse Poet
well i can't stay long
you know, cats, adorable
they own humanity
Haiku # 56926, July 1, 2017 7:13 pm ET
by vhs
accidental art
someone drops the mans mobile
he says to the mover

great touch... Marcel Marcel
Haiku # 56925, June 30, 2017 7:02 pm ET
by Road Horno
it's not art any
longer when it becomes that
propaganda...tusk

panda
Haiku # 56924, June 30, 2017 7:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What's the strangest thing you've ever humped.
Really? Me too!
Haiku # 56923, June 30, 2017 7:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
boulevardvark pie
road kill frisbie jerky snack
for toddlers and dogs.
Haiku # 56922, June 30, 2017 7:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
For what it is worth,
never buy a computer
with a grounded plug.

Two prong or nothing.
If it needs a ground cable,
it could well short out.

It's no power drill.
I mean what the fuck, people.
Someone is laughing.

I can hear them now.
All the way from Chinese slums.
Blown by ocean breeze.
Haiku # 56921, June 30, 2017 7:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chat with a wee gnome.
I suppose all gnomes are wee.
What did he tell me?

I don't remember.
He told me to do bad things.
But I can't recall.

He was pure evil.
Atop his head, a blue hat.
Contrary to red.

He drank Mountain Dew
from a small plastic bottle
and cursed profusely.

But what did he say.
If only I were sober,
then I might recall.
Haiku # 56920, June 30, 2017 7:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You're welcome very much
please drink more maple syrup
happy you wrote maine 4476
Haiku # 56919, June 29, 2017 1:05 pm ET
by vhs
interesting post! Thanks for Share Unique and Useful knowledge with us.
Haiku # 56918, June 29, 2017 12:16 pm ET
by fireplace of pakistan
one day at a time
but one day between those times
of earth shattering

historical events
is still one day at a time
insert thought right here
Haiku # 56917, June 29, 2017 11:12 am ET
by vhs
it doesn't stop though
the weather still hails, lightning
the toursts still make

unreasonable
demands on their servers and
tip very badly at

times...unless it's charlie
sheen who got so mad about a
lousy tip he gave the

guy 1000 dollars in tip
Haiku # 56916, June 29, 2017 11:06 am ET
by vhs of yay for youtube top 10 lists
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