Rock, paper, scissors.
The fist slaps the palm three times.
Show me what you got.
by Darth Figpucker
Hello!
by wpiyerwo of USA
petrified dog dung
hammock improperly hung
ladder missing rung
by Crap in my back yard
what does it mean
by Ding
He died just for me.
And that means for me alone.
You others will burn.
Burn deep in Hell's pits!
The BBQ pits of hell!
Roasted like a pig.
You will be juicy.
Jesus and I will eat you.
Your souls will be sauce.
I believe all this.
I mean it, I really do.
Satan's a good cook.
by Darth Yummy Yum Figpucker
i will add he died
for assholes like you but death
comes for all of us
by vhs
Oh, it was Easter.
Did you find all of your eggs?
And candy rabbits?
Would He sit with you?
Would He eat your Easter ham?
Do you have a soul?
Somehow I picture Jesus pulling the nails out of his hands and driving them into the Holy Day Pig's Ass to ensure even cooking temperature throughout the hunk of swine flesh, consistently roasted and honey-glazed perhaps with pineapple so that you can get into Heaven and sit before The Father upon your earthly demise whereupon you will gorge yourself on Kosher bacon cheese burgers, fluorescent fowl's embryo, and cacao leporidae. Praise His Name!
by Darth Figpucker of I am such an asshole.
Never disappoints
Stunning collection of nuts
Magical thrill ride
by Mandingo Ebola
heaven and hell, well
oh well, ronnie james dio
tis a black sabbath
happy easter
by vhs of we can't rewind, we've gone too far
People who have AIDS.
White men in Asian airports.
Girls in Pattaya.
Sharing is caring.
if you can't be with your love,
love the one you're with.
Or if your wife has gotten so ridiculously fat that you don't want to have sex with her any more and want to escape to some island paradise with Mai-Tais, Gin-and-tonics, rum-and-cokes, funny drinks with umbrellas as if they are afraid of rain and/or sunburns, and marijuana, and bikini girls who you can rent for $500 per week and the only crime they have is writing bad haiku. Yes, that would be heaven. Or hell. Or both.
by Darth Figpucker
Damn all these spammers!
"Jan-Ass The Hutt" is sleeping;
She needs Boba Fett.
I'm not enlightened.
Iamback, tell your story.
Why the taunts and jibes?
What evil was done?
What was done to fuel your hate?
I must know these things.
Can it fuel space ships?
Hyper-drives run on hatred.
Now that's cool sci-fi.
by Darth Figpucker.
no more but also
not less. It is in total
equilibrium
by tarikja
I just don't get it.
iamback confuses me.
Why's he hate others?
Who is Darth Gardar?
Why are there gay wedding taunts?
Why does my ass burn?
Damn Manila whores!
Shouldn't let her lick my ass.
Time to get a shot.
I think it was "she".
But maybe it was a "he".
I was really drunk.
by Darth Figpucker
April approaches
expectations rise like plant
underwhelming them
by tarikja
pretty prose prances
alliterative attack
ruggedly repelled
by Anonymous Poet
Satin syllables
slowly slather swimmingly
secretly softly
by Betty LeBomb
did bukowski want
his dirty old man title
back from you DF?
by vhs
Blowing black boogers.
A big city walkabout.
I don't suggest it.
by Darth Figpucker
milk and cheese went bad
even had their own comic
ran about violent
and some said that say
lactose intolerance how
about intolerant
lactose
by vhs
If it carries a switchblade.
by df
fridge cleaning today
question: how can you tell if
buttermilk is bad?
by studboy of Los Angeles, CA
Spray your asshole clean.
Luxury Asian commode.
Fuck toilet paper.
by Darth Figpucker of North Korean nuclear silo
sequined superstars
pedophile pornographers
missile making mice
by Mundar Elvestio
bread crumbs in my pants
ducks follow only so far
"Not today," they say
by Mavis Engals
Go google yourself
Spraying your brain around here
Will clash with the drapes
by Mandingo Enola
Doomed humanity
Flatulent profanity
Humping Manatee
by Anonymous Poet
Lastly, I imbibe
ghastly, whomever subscribes
shite is the order
by Lush
hereafter, splendor
cast against a wall again
tender, surrender
by Lush
wherein lay humour
mainly, 'tis in my rectum
anal retention
by Lush
havoc averted
a celebration replete
immeasurable drugs
by Lush
mine buttocks clinging
each to the other, aside
gateway sealed for once
by Lush
Yo no hablo French
But I'm handy with a wrench
Smell like New York stench
by Anonymous Poet
farts rick beaucoup trop
probable qu'il va exploser et
ils auront besoin d' une sorte d'
by jeanette of Paris
Damn that dirty meth.
Up all night banging chickens.
Yes, I should have slept.
by Darth Figpucker
Go to sleep early
Try it and see how it feels
It may change your life
by Anonymous Poet
The toad was quiet.
This poor toad did not want fame.
Now it is too late.
by Darth Figpucker
by happy wheels of http://happywheelscrazy.com
The President growled:
"Give me the launch codes. Right now."
"Sir, please. You are drunk."
by vince
'Ku rolls on, a rapping
Hos in tow, legs be wrappin
Poets here: fappin
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your face covered in 'ku
Yall perplexin
Layered themes, in my rhymes
Hos: "please, one more time?"
If hot lil hos is
What you crave, just mosey on
N leave them wanting
Hos holla, folla
Screamin "ku dont leave! Yo Rhymes
Impregnate our minds"
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your face covered in 'ku
Phone pic dat turd and
rub in faces: dem geeks in
NSA spaces
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams
Riddle on 'ku
Twistin yo minds ju jitsu
Hos say "we love 'Kuuuuuu!!!"
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your face covered in 'ku
time to state dey crimes
Far past time, these fucking slimes
Ass holes assholes yo
Kitten Beyonce
Know da ho score, dey all want more
Monarch viagra
Kennedy secret speech
Did tell, Societies: our hell
For dat, rang his bell
Dont read yous poo for
Clues fool, yous new ass master
Be old you know who
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams
Its my third coming
In yo facezzzzz, puttin youzzz
In yo placezzzes
Over a decade
Makin rhymes, hos be cryin
"We want 'ku rappin"
But its yo slavry
I am warnin, oligarchy
Dey be comin, yo
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams
I am now worried.
Rap-haiku fusion's a sign
of the Apocalypse.
Also that I have
horrific diarrhea
and my asshole burns.
I bet it's swollen
and looks like a pink donut
with glaze and sprinkles.
Where's my cell phone?
I'll take a picture of it.
Just for vhs.
Oh, but I forgot.
He said he's not coming back.
And he never lies.
by Darth Figpucker
Hos want dem dollaz
All seeing eye on back they
Folla. Nasty crime.
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams
My dick: thick 'ku(hai) brick
Gonna send these horny hos
On space oddessy
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams
"We so horny, yo"
hos squeal. I say "eyes wide shut
Illuminati"
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams
Yall poets hair so
nappy, I say Flava Flav
yo fuckin pappy!
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams
Haiku zombies rock
Spittin rhymes w Mister Spock
Eatin your brains, Jaques
Beethoven n Bach
Figure out my Fey riddle?
Its my big fat cock!
by Rappin poet dude abides of Your dreams