Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 48 Days and 77439 Haiku later...

world's not perfect, there's
assholes in church and there's the
same outside of church

likewise there's people
who aren't assholes and such is
life, we live, we die

new assholes and not
every generation now
keep firing assholes

Haiku # 49701, May 17, 2013 12:47 am ET
by vhs
Bird evolution
The almighty forsook you
Ostrich can't fly

I hope this one post the way I wrote it!
Haiku # 49700, May 16, 2013 5:30 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers

The evolution
The almighty forsook you
The Ostrich can
Haiku # 49699, May 16, 2013 5:28 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
Bird evolution
The almighty forsook you
The Ostrich can
Haiku # 49698, May 16, 2013 5:27 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
why do things go wrong
in groups and things go right in
waves of events
Haiku # 49697, May 16, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs
invest in boners
the market is going up
but no-one's buying
Haiku # 49696, May 16, 2013 8:38 am ET
by ash
so if he drinks too
much at the bar I should not
worry too much then
Haiku # 49693, May 14, 2013 10:54 am ET
by vhs
my velour jacket
forestalls each likely approach
ironic or lame
Haiku # 49692, May 14, 2013 2:23 am ET
by Lush
happenstance waning
tapestry of gathering
this shit's determined
Haiku # 49691, May 14, 2013 2:21 am ET
by Lush
luscious balustrades
supporting flimsy railing
collapse and rebuild
Haiku # 49690, May 14, 2013 2:16 am ET
by Lush
adaptations bland
o'neill and the rest are hams
concoct seminal
Haiku # 49689, May 14, 2013 2:14 am ET
by Lush
mourning elected
a derelict reflection
i'm not Electra
Haiku # 49688, May 14, 2013 2:13 am ET
by Lush
but will you slay the
world serpent with mjolnir
and raise the dead now?
Haiku # 49687, May 12, 2013 9:25 pm ET
by vhs
I will climb Fuji.
I will surf a tsunami.
All this in heaven.
Haiku # 49686, May 12, 2013 2:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it is worth going
on but sometimes not in the
place where we are now
Haiku # 49685, May 12, 2013 1:32 am ET
by vhs
I don't like haiku.
So why am I even here?
Off to the strip club.

Lap dances are fun.
I'll bring a change of undies.
Can't let the wife know.

Oh, damn the glitter.
And the reek of cheap perfume.
I just might get caught.

Fuck it, I'm going!
I'll say the glitter is from
My six-year-old's art.
Haiku # 49684, May 11, 2013 8:59 pm ET
by Darth figpucker of Captcha: dioxide eralsy
I hate you bad prick,
I will never eat your beans.
Passing gas hard, ouch.
Haiku # 49683, May 11, 2013 12:21 pm ET
by ~Roberuto_Renga
but then again I
have never written a piece
of writing I have

enjoyed when I felt
I had to prove something to
folks I'm writing to.

do you enjoy your writing?
Haiku # 49682, May 11, 2013 1:40 am ET
by vhs
well my dear sir, if
we had the female body
and personae I

will bet each one of
us would be a little less
"competing" haikus

but isn't buddhism all
about letting shit like this
all go, to nothingness?
Haiku # 49681, May 11, 2013 1:39 am ET
by vhs
I never met a
man obsessessed with the "meta"
who wasn't fretting
Haiku # 49680, May 11, 2013 1:27 am ET
by Lush
merry are the few
who tune in with some routine
filler syllables
Haiku # 49679, May 11, 2013 1:24 am ET
by Lush
perennial warmth
and the occasional darth
home is where you hang
Haiku # 49678, May 11, 2013 1:22 am ET
by Lush
dum dum dum daa daa
daa, daa, daa, daa, dum dum dum
DUM!! DUM!! DUM!!! (boston

pops vader theme there)
Haiku # 49677, May 10, 2013 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Dingleberry pie.
Goes well with Starbucks' coffee.
Munch, munch, munch, sluuurp... Aaaahhhhh.
Haiku # 49676, May 10, 2013 12:08 pm ET
by Darth figpucker
damn it, we're going
to have to buy you a new
whiskey tumbler now
Haiku # 49675, May 10, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs
we give you some time
and we can keep company
to you as world turns
Haiku # 49674, May 10, 2013 9:39 am ET
by vhs
blot the seeping drool
and cast the whiskey tumbler
in the fireplace
Haiku # 49673, May 10, 2013 1:18 am ET
by Lush
now my ass itches
for I've sat upon it long
blast, mighty trumpet
Haiku # 49672, May 10, 2013 1:12 am ET
by Lush
grievous enemy
absence overwhelms presence
stand up and engage
Haiku # 49671, May 10, 2013 1:09 am ET
by Lush
if/when I portray
losses indescribable
revoke my license
Haiku # 49670, May 10, 2013 1:06 am ET
by Lush
I've penned of heartache
and indignity and shame
vainglory and blame
Haiku # 49669, May 10, 2013 1:03 am ET
by Lush
my two beloved
perished within these two years
art can't encompass
Haiku # 49668, May 10, 2013 1:01 am ET
by Lush
is there argument
great pain causes great art, then
how does that explain

50 shades of grey?
I applaud those who can read
through such a thing which

must be an act of
endurance, but to taste some
people like to eat beets

oh crap I like beets
and beats
Haiku # 49667, May 9, 2013 11:30 pm ET
by vhs
you russians have it
in for the japs after the
1905 war huh...
Haiku # 49666, May 9, 2013 7:55 pm ET
by vhs
then when all seems at
rest something comes out to throw
more disorder in
Haiku # 49665, May 9, 2013 7:53 pm ET
by vhs
the whole world can just
go nuts all at once and the
system crashes down
Haiku # 49664, May 9, 2013 5:48 pm ET
by vhs
I am not a shark.
I refuse to eat raw fish.
It is too stinky.

Here's a new idea:
Wasabi nasal spray tube.
vhs up first. ;-)

Seriously though,
I effing luuu-uuuv sushi!
I'll eat it all day!

My novel has a Jap nuclear terror twist in it... read now. ;-)
Haiku # 49663, May 9, 2013 9:01 am ET
by Japanese culture terror attack wasabi bomb.
well we watch anime
read manga, practice zen, play
nintendo, and drive

subarus whilst we
eat sushi, giant robots
manga my sensei
Haiku # 49662, May 9, 2013 1:11 am ET
by vhs of somewhere near lynn minmei
gaijin poetry
pirated from nippon, sure
but who won the war ?
Haiku # 49661, May 8, 2013 8:16 pm ET
by ash
:)

and the book on my
desk is about marquis de
sade, boring really

have more fun watching anthony
bourdain going places, he's cool
Haiku # 49660, May 8, 2013 11:43 am ET
by vhs
Sudoku, haiku,
sushi, bizarre fetishes...
I am Japanese!
Haiku # 49659, May 8, 2013 7:32 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Guam
password codes causing
fetishes? and I thought girls
wearing rubber...well...
Haiku # 49658, May 8, 2013 12:55 am ET
by vhs
can't ya spare a few?
at least you'll be off your knees
and free of Mrs.
Haiku # 49657, May 7, 2013 10:27 pm ET
by Lush
fetishes abound
identify the sources
and miss orgasms
Haiku # 49656, May 7, 2013 10:26 pm ET
by Lush
resume prurience
my van is luxuriant
care to step inside?
Haiku # 49655, May 7, 2013 10:24 pm ET
by Lush
I clamber right on
peripheral vision off
you cryptic dipshits
Haiku # 49654, May 7, 2013 10:22 pm ET
by Lush
captcha "codes" distract
sublimating my lewdness
into something else
Haiku # 49653, May 7, 2013 10:19 pm ET
by Lush
Effing Cut and paste doesn't work!

Lips Like Bombs

Morning hue on your face. Lips like bombs caressing mine to yours all things pass. Waiting by the tracks, you said "Meet me there".

Take me for a drive to somewhere I know not. Let the fear drain away. Breathed on by the mother you are mine alone.

Waiting by the house for what they said was mine. In the end we all die.
Haiku # 49652, May 7, 2013 2:40 pm ET
by Dr. Retrospectacle (Mick Whipple.)
Lips Like Bombs

Morning hue on your face. Lips like bombs caressing mine to yours all things pass. Waiting by the tracks. You said
Haiku # 49651, May 7, 2013 2:35 pm ET
by Dr. Retrospectacle
Lips Like Bombs

Morning hue on your face. Lips like bombs caressing mine to yours all things pass. Waiting by the tracks. You said
Haiku # 49650, May 7, 2013 2:34 pm ET
by Dr. Retrospectacle
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