Most Asian toilets
do not have tanks in the back;
flush with a bucket.

And forget TP;
Pour water down your backside,
scrubbing with your hand.

There is never soap.
Think of this when you eat out.
See the waiter's hands.

To take a good dump,
Yankee style with TP,
find a McDonald's.

Toilets in the malls
do not even have TP
unless you buy it.

Often there's no seat,
only a bowl for squatting.
A good thigh workout.

But the worst part is
that the floors are always wet
from water sloshing.

Keep your pants or shorts
high and dry off of the floor
or it will be gross.

Who wants buffet now?
All you can eat at the new
Mandarin Palace!