How was your Christmas?
Did you give lots of presents?
I, for one, did not.

Did you praise Jesus?
Did you get down on your knees?
Were you touched by God?

This Christmas I was
re-convinced that God hates me
with great certainty.

"He shat down upon
me with a great vengeance and
furious anger.

And thus I looked up
and received an eyefull of
holy brown feces."

But it could have been worse.
I could be in a hearse (again).
re-hearse (sin).
(Sit and spin).

Did anyone ever have a sit-and-spin toy? Remember those?