Bad Haiku

it's been way too hot
and now it's fucking freezing
grandma has a cock

Haiku #77448, by ash
January 8, 2025 4:29 am ET

Hawk tuah and off-brand
body moisturizer cream
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #77245, by Betty LeBomb
August 30, 2024 10:00 pm ET

Grandma has a cock.
She trained it as a fighter.
Her cock won the match.

Haiku #77215, by School of Fighting Cocks
August 9, 2024 7:02 am ET

Her red rooster crows
And then pecks at corn kernels
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #77214, by Betty LeBomb
August 9, 2024 12:31 am ET

Grandma’s leaky hose
Dribbles down the garden path
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #77213, by Betty LeBomb
August 8, 2024 9:41 pm ET

some things never change
why would perfection evolve?
grandma has a cock

Haiku #77210, by ash of plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose
August 7, 2024 10:24 am ET

Stiff turn to the left
tips over her fifth stiff drink
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #77088, by Betty LeBomb of Mother's Day Dinner
May 12, 2024 8:33 pm ET

It has arisen!
on the most holiest day
grandma has a cock

Haiku #76974, by Betty LeBomb
March 31, 2024 6:21 pm ET

Chicks. They hatch from eggs.
Rachel Levine is a man.
Grandma has a cock.

Haiku #76770, by Hex of the Funhouse
November 10, 2023 1:23 pm ET

Fixed income drove her
theft. Moon Cakes with extra cream.
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #75962, by Betty LeBomb of *Corrections Facility
August 15, 2022 6:09 pm ET

i am old and tired
but poetry makes my young
grandma has a cock

Haiku #75891, by ash
July 20, 2022 8:47 pm ET

at least it's not meth
perhaps a new haiku meme
grandma has a cock

Haiku #67374, by ash
April 19, 2020 5:18 am ET

Grandma has a cock
It is a very rude bird
Shits on the sidewalk

Haiku #53075, by Anonymous Poet
December 5, 2015 1:36 am ET

it's state elections
the politicians will win
grandma has a cock

Haiku #52276, by ash
March 28, 2015 12:40 am ET

Ash thanks for playing
Certainly words hard to hear
"Grandma has a cock"

Ghost of Hollywood
Thank you for your answer too
"I jerk off wildly"

Maybe the next time
William N., Lush and Crimson
Will play along too

Along the same lines
Mine similiar yet different
"Your penis is small"

"Can we remain friends?"
The worst words a man can hear?
"Your penis is small"

Haiku #48898, by Let's play a Haiku game
July 12, 2012 2:19 am ET

Can we remain friends?
The worst words a man can hear
grandma has a cock

Haiku #48894, by ash
July 11, 2012 4:11 am ET

europe calls me now
enough of arabs, dubai
grandma has a cock

Haiku #48684, by ap
April 27, 2012 4:05 pm ET

Crochet hook in hand
she chains a long warm cozy
grandma has a cock

Haiku #48001, by Betty LeBomb
August 30, 2011 1:20 pm ET

this fly pesters me
now i require revenge
grandma has a cock

Haiku #47886, by ap of jubail
June 30, 2011 2:50 am ET

the past is present
things that were old come anew
grandma has a cock

Haiku #47530, by ash
April 1, 2011 8:54 pm ET

Morrissey was right
November spawned a monster
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #44611, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2009 3:41 pm ET

grandma has a cock
wondering how long it's been
ash you might know that

Haiku #44561, by mellie
October 15, 2009 10:35 am ET

october wind blows
so do all these bad haikus
grandma has a cock

Haiku #44530, by Anonymous Poet
October 7, 2009 5:39 pm ET

It's a brand new year
But what has not changed is
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #43223, by Anonymous Poet
January 4, 2009 2:07 pm ET

the old-timers know
why she never undresses:
grandma has a cock

Haiku #38902, by scotch
May 9, 2007 11:45 am ET

like a bird circling
it comes around yet again
grandma has a cock

Haiku #38562, by ash
March 29, 2007 8:11 am ET

Bulging prostate gland
mountain behind the boulders
grandma has a cock

Haiku #38555, by Betty LeBomb
March 28, 2007 2:12 am ET

Safely tucked in bed
big bad wolf in the pocket
grandma has a cock

Haiku #37210, by Betty LeBomb
September 3, 2006 3:02 am ET

nine and a half years
thirty-six thousand haiku
grandma has a cock

Haiku #35906, by ash
May 12, 2006 12:53 am ET

The refreshing verse
Of years gone by surfaces;
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #35902, by Janis
May 11, 2006 2:35 pm ET

such nihilism
it's pretty hard to believe
grandma has a cock

Haiku #35899, by ash (....déjà vu !)
May 11, 2006 7:53 am ET

Craft project gone wrong
glue covered cotton ball tree
grandma has a cock

Haiku #35090, by Betty LeBomb
March 20, 2006 3:45 am ET

Looking back fondly
Through all the precious archives
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #34261, by Anonymous Poet
February 1, 2006 3:52 pm ET

how very helpful
a lexicon assistant
grandma has a cock

Haiku #33125, by mellie
October 26, 2005 12:58 pm ET

terminate program
grandma has a cock-up now
a runtime error

Haiku #32513, by mellie
August 20, 2005 1:29 pm ET

Father's mother owns
Poultry farms in Ithaca
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #32496, by Maestro of Manhattan
August 17, 2005 2:39 pm ET

Safely tucked in bed
big bad wolf in the closet
grandma has a cock

Haiku #32486, by Betty Lebomb
August 16, 2005 2:58 am ET

Oh, the liquor feast
brings upon the morning wood
grandma has a cock

Haiku #32485, by Betty Lebomb
August 16, 2005 2:57 am ET

Drunken congo line
with stiff bump in the back-side
grandma has a cock

Haiku #32484, by Betty Lebomb
August 16, 2005 2:45 am ET

happy birthday mel
yet we be jammin' long time
grandma has a cock

Haiku #32480, by ash
August 15, 2005 9:37 am ET

Oh, it's halloween
that's not a candied apple!
grandma has a cock

Haiku #32436, by Betty Lebomb
August 11, 2005 2:51 am ET

Heart to weak to pump,
medic alert bracelet call,
grandma has a cock

Haiku #32435, by Betty Lebomb
August 11, 2005 2:49 am ET

Hard, cold, unfeeling
a frost bitten chicken leg
grandma has a cock

Haiku #32180, by Betty LeBomb
July 12, 2005 1:58 am ET

this is what I think
get to the bottom of it
grandma has a cock

Haiku #31910, by mellie
June 7, 2003 11:36 am ET

the wax jobs are good
air brushing perhaps or not
grandma has a cock

Haiku #31898, by mellie
June 7, 2003 8:23 am ET

gentle yesterday
a life more ordinary
grandma has a cock

Haiku #31406, by ash
June 3, 2003 8:21 am ET

online catharsis
endless odious bullshit
grandma has a cock

Haiku #31255, by ash
June 1, 2003 8:18 am ET

wading in waste high
piles of nippless haikus
grandma has a cock

Haiku #30812, by ap
May 23, 2003 6:04 am ET

axis of evil
nipps and moxie united
grandma has a cock

Haiku #30639, by ap
May 18, 2003 9:45 pm ET

that wind from the south
so strong it blew me off course
and another thing

I hate these damn spots
old people have them not ME
grandma has a cock

Haiku #30043, by mellie
May 4, 2003 9:52 am ET

what can one believe ?
is there some greater purpose ?
grandma has a cock

Haiku #29795, by ash
April 30, 2003 3:57 am ET

go to any church
they're all dressed up for jesus
grandma has a cock

Haiku #29777, by mellie
April 30, 2003 2:25 am ET

incredibly bad
far worse than mere bad haiku
grandma has a cock

Haiku #29557, by ash
April 25, 2003 7:23 am ET

damn! fuckin' retards!
where the hell is the haiku?
grandma has a cock

Haiku #29535, by ap -- get with the fuckin' program assholes
April 24, 2003 9:34 pm ET

i can barely look
where teh hell is the haiku
grandma has a cock

Haiku #28841, by ap
April 15, 2003 12:29 pm ET

we are used to it
we don't mind the sight of blood
grandma has a cock

Haiku #27718, by mellie
March 26, 2003 1:56 am ET

more and more haiku
less and less memorable
grandma has a cock

Haiku #26847, by ash
March 10, 2003 7:13 pm ET

different accent
ein guttes Beispiel for hmmm
grandma has a cock

Haiku #26232, by mellie
February 11, 2003 2:00 pm ET

you won't stop killing
by washing our mouths with soap
grandma has a cock

Haiku #25784, by scotch
January 21, 2003 5:04 pm ET

oh yeah, forgot
might have been better to say
grandma has a cock

Haiku #24293, by mellie
January 3, 2003 1:13 pm ET

art brings nothing new
it's all too derivative
grandma has a cock

Haiku #23266, by ash
November 12, 2002 1:43 am ET

in the names of the
Lord, on the last day when your
idle words are

Grandma has a cock

how will that be explained?

Haiku #23248, by Anonymous Poet
November 8, 2002 5:42 pm ET

get over it chick
spend time learning some spelling
grandma has a cock

Haiku #23229, by mellie
November 7, 2002 8:12 am ET

Curry flavored burps
Is far preferable to
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #23137, by titus wong
November 1, 2002 5:48 pm ET

I can't even count
yeah that was unlucky
grandma has a cock

Haiku #23132, by mellie
November 1, 2002 9:03 am ET

grandma has a cock?
let me see under that skirt,
grandma has a cock.

Haiku #23111, by Anonymous Poet
October 31, 2002 3:28 pm ET

chill, internet chick
don't go and turn all moxie
grandma has a cock

Haiku #23061, by ash
October 29, 2002 1:42 am ET

happy birthday ash
best wishes sheena baby
grandma has a cock

Haiku #22692, by mellie, oh SO ripe!
October 14, 2002 1:42 pm ET

spent a week on the
north umpqua river...quite wet
grandma has a cock

Haiku #22594, by k
October 8, 2002 3:52 am ET

summers' eve won't help
she should try hot kerosene
grandma has a cock

Haiku #22592, by ap
October 7, 2002 9:59 pm ET

so artsey fartsey
i like this new bad haiku
grandma has a cock

Haiku #22323, by Anonymous Poet
September 18, 2002 6:03 pm ET

Tomato season
Is such a good time of year
Grandma has a cock

Haiku #22239, by Janis
September 10, 2002 6:55 pm ET

gotta love this site
life, death, some more of the same
grandma has a cock

Haiku #22198, by ash
September 8, 2002 11:24 pm ET

put on the tit clamps
red rubber ball in my mouth
grandma has a cock

Haiku #21524, by Anonymous Poet
August 11, 2002 10:07 pm ET

grandma has a cock
grandma has a cock
grandma has a cock

Haiku #21193, by grandma has a cock of grandma has a cock
June 25, 2002 9:53 pm ET

old jokes never die
especially the good ones
grandma has a cock!

Haiku #21159, by no one spayshul
June 22, 2002 2:39 am ET

her mouth open now
drool glistening lips moist
sharp intakes of breath

hand brushes nipples
slides down her smooth belly now
grandma has a cock

Haiku #21063, by mellie
June 11, 2002 12:40 pm ET

error messages
linux hates my winmodem
grandma has a cock

Haiku #21030, by ash
June 9, 2002 8:35 am ET

a space oddity
thin line between love and hat
grandma has a cock

downloading all night
where is david bowie now?
how are his eyes now?

green cane rises up
from a sea of morning mist
sun on horizon

Haiku #20639, by mellie
May 20, 2002 3:16 pm ET

Yuengling Lager beer
pity those who can't obtain
grandma has a cock

Haiku #20492, by ap
May 15, 2002 6:27 pm ET

we can only hope
pray Ashley's crutch's okay
grandma has a cock

Haiku #20472, by mellie
May 14, 2002 6:42 pm ET

when australia
rhymes with genitalia
grandma has a cock

Haiku #20264, by ash
May 9, 2002 8:55 am ET

it must be dave's fault
when i lose literati
grandma has a cock

Haiku #20215, by ash (with a thx to mellie)
May 8, 2002 9:28 am ET

pee pull pee pull pee
pull pee pull pee pull people
grandma has a cock

what came first moxie?
the pee the pull or moxie
some people really!

Haiku #20211, by mellie
May 8, 2002 4:24 am ET

lithium dwindles
moxie's on a fuckin' roll
grandma has a cock

Haiku #19914, by ap
April 27, 2002 11:19 pm ET

except for the dog
I'd never have to clean shit
grandma has a cock

Haiku #19851, by ap
April 25, 2002 7:56 pm ET

During photographs
meaty log lays on my leg
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #19175, by Betty LeBomb
March 15, 2002 1:38 am ET

Polyester pants
with green floral prints reveal
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #19174, by Betty LeBomb
March 15, 2002 1:37 am ET

poets need a muse
somehow we got stuck with mox
grandma has a cock

Haiku #18838, by scott
March 5, 2002 5:51 am ET

a small miracle
with nana-technology
grandma has a cock

Haiku #18461, by ash
February 5, 2002 1:09 am ET

unlike herr doktor
and i also suspect a.p.
grandma has a cock

Haiku #17952, by ash
December 19, 2001 7:24 am ET

held him in my arms
and he threw it all away
hold me in your arms

love me just the same
hold me in your arms again
grandma has a cock

held him in my arms
I've been thinking it over
and over again

Haiku #17426, by mellie
November 24, 2001 5:47 am ET

weaving left and right
moving up and down moaning
grandma has a cock

Haiku #17403, by mellie
November 23, 2001 9:52 am ET

futile politics
players weaving left and right
grandma has a cock

Haiku #17402, by ash
November 22, 2001 10:04 pm ET

when you remember
repetition rises up
grandma has a cock

Haiku #17273, by ash
November 19, 2001 8:01 am ET

vert! haiku hero
original author of
grandma has a cock

Haiku #16546, by ap
October 23, 2001 9:56 pm ET

zephyr? zephyr? and
so you need a thesaraus?
grandma has a cock

Haiku #15914, by ap
October 12, 2001 6:19 pm ET

too much trivia
not enough pieces of art
grandma has a cock

Haiku #15505, by ash
October 8, 2001 10:26 pm ET

boys and their jewels
such precious sweet nutty things
grandma has a cock

Haiku #15157, by mellie
October 1, 2001 1:06 pm ET

em dee em ay eh?
amphetamine analogue
hardly up to speed

i'd rather suck eggs
indoor doof doof enhancer
grandma has a cock

Haiku #14805, by ash
September 26, 2001 6:49 am ET

From today forward
all bad haiku must end with
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #14302, by ap #8259 - my first post. vert was the inspiration
September 21, 2001 7:05 am ET

this isn't real life?
ah, so that would explain why
grandma has a cock.

Haiku #13358, by scott (realization dawning...hoping i don't wake up in a vat of goo...)
August 31, 2001 8:50 pm ET

what constitution ?
janis is canadian
grandma has a cock

Haiku #13300, by ash
August 30, 2001 8:46 am ET

intolerant piss
let me sleep a little more
grandma has a cock

Haiku #13160, by ap
August 26, 2001 9:55 am ET

behold the monster
prodigious cavernosum
grandma has a cock

Haiku #12463, by ash
August 13, 2001 2:56 am ET

more thunder and rain
tree toads hop by the millions
grandma has a cock

Haiku #12444, by ap
August 12, 2001 9:09 pm ET

repetitive works
arts busting masters reflect
grandma has a cock

Haiku #12396, by ash
August 10, 2001 9:00 am ET

Last night in a box
pictures were found proving that
grandma has a cock

Haiku #12266, by Betty LeBomb
July 30, 2001 11:02 am ET

o beginner lau
she calls, "i love you long time"
grandma has a cock

Haiku #12212, by ash
July 25, 2001 7:21 am ET

madness in the flock
makes this site a laughing stock
grandma has a cock

Haiku #12192, by ash
July 24, 2001 1:07 am ET

sometimes i wonder
potty posters make more sense
grandma has a cock!

Haiku #12150, by ap
July 20, 2001 8:14 pm ET

I have been away
I've brought you back a mem'ry -
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #11679, by Saint
July 5, 2001 4:45 pm ET

bald as a beaver
sure brings out the animal
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11643, by ash
July 4, 2001 8:14 am ET

i imagine me
but i laugh too much to type
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11632, by ap
July 3, 2001 9:59 pm ET

get a grip on it
can you get your head around
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11517, by ash
June 21, 2001 8:19 am ET

Five buck birthday gift
seems fine when you realize
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11514, by Betty LeBomb
June 21, 2001 2:09 am ET

All that now remains
is one long vericose vein
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11513, by Betty LeBomb
June 21, 2001 2:06 am ET

Bulging pantyhose
streched orthopedic holster
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11512, by Betty LeBomb
June 21, 2001 2:03 am ET

Grandma has a cock...
something about Old Duke, Bowflex
and Drink Moxie
Blessed be

Haiku #11511, by Moxie
June 20, 2001 10:24 pm ET

nihilisim and
anarchy might be confused
GRANDMA HAS A COCK!!!!!!!!!

Haiku #11510, by ap
June 20, 2001 9:12 pm ET

Tented floral dress
quickly reminds us all that
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11505, by Betty LeBomb
June 20, 2001 8:13 pm ET

scepticism yep
bound to raise it's ugly head
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11500, by mellie
June 20, 2001 11:41 am ET

such nihilism
it's pretty hard to believe
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11499, by ash
June 20, 2001 10:15 am ET

words, though elegant,
merely express a concept.
grandma has a cock.

Haiku #11331, by ap
June 14, 2001 7:24 pm ET

tomorrow, texas
steers queers and shiner bock beers
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11110, by ap
June 3, 2001 10:21 pm ET

arthritic back pain
sailing today anyway
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11105, by ap
June 3, 2001 9:59 pm ET

sophisticated
predisposed to artifice
grandma has a cock

Haiku #11090, by ash
June 3, 2001 9:32 am ET

seek enlightenment
spirituality, peace.
grandma has a cock.

Haiku #10284, by ap
May 9, 2001 9:09 pm ET

tell mellie tell all
i guarantee good results
grandma has a cock

Haiku #10085, by ap
May 3, 2001 10:21 pm ET

let this train run on.
signalmen drive its progress.
grandma has a cock

Haiku #10021, by weezer
May 3, 2001 12:12 pm ET

grandpa has a cunt
we always call her grandma
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9984, by mellie
May 3, 2001 11:45 am ET

oh, don't box me in
give me a home on the range
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9940, by ash
May 3, 2001 11:15 am ET

Grandma has a cock
but she also has
Old Duke and a Bowflex

Haiku #9927, by Moxie of oh, ap...
May 3, 2001 11:06 am ET

Oh my god it's hot
too hot to touch my hoo haa
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9926, by nonozone
May 3, 2001 11:05 am ET

seeking artistic
recognition here? oh boy.
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9849, by ap
May 2, 2001 12:23 pm ET

oh moxie, moxie
your poetry is poxy
please get writer's block

even if you try
you'll never understand why
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9817, by ash
May 2, 2001 3:09 am ET

sreaming monkey churl
prudish sissy whining girl
grandma has a cock!

Haiku #9783, by ap
May 1, 2001 10:05 pm ET

killer bees, shark bite
spider venom serpant scale
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9775, by ap
May 1, 2001 8:57 pm ET

to our great surprise
we discovered at autopsy
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9563, by ash
April 23, 2001 10:02 pm ET

transcendence, glory
illumination and grace.
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9556, by ap
April 23, 2001 7:47 pm ET

it's a mixed up world
moxie needs a therapist
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9503, by ash
April 22, 2001 8:57 am ET

there ya go paver!
social, comedic, haiku !
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #9481, by ap
April 21, 2001 10:57 am ET

unrealized art
expression of a moment
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9477, by ap
April 21, 2001 10:50 am ET

this site has lost it
but the bonfire rekindles
grandma has a cock

Haiku #9468, by ash
April 21, 2001 8:07 am ET

Is that haiku PORN,
or could it be haiku PRAWN?
Grandma has a cock.

Haiku #8822, by Windsong
April 10, 2001 10:10 pm ET

Horizon swallows
glowing solar thunder storm.
Grandma has a cock.

Haiku #8788, by ap
April 10, 2001 10:02 am ET

Let it go, Solbey!
Do your damndest bad haiku.
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #8465, by Anonymous Poet
March 31, 2001 9:08 pm ET

No Haiku shortage.
Put your brain on fuckin' hold.
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #8458, by ap
March 31, 2001 8:07 pm ET

Man, I've got the runs!
I ate some bad bacon, cause'
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #8433, by Slug
March 30, 2001 10:30 pm ET

Fresh wind fill my sail,
set course for the North horizon.
Grandma has a cock!

Haiku #8426, by ap
March 30, 2001 5:55 pm ET