BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
99 Days
and
62333 Haikus
later...
Nothing wrong with that.
I once sold uranium
to some Amish priests.

It was a good trade.
Enriched uranium for
some strawberry jam.

I was curious,
but didn't want to ask what
they wanted it for.
Haiku #62333, by df
February 20, 2019 7:15 am ET

Uranus yum yum
Russian dressing on the side
Way horrorshow good
Haiku #62332, by Sputnik
February 20, 2019 5:09 am ET

Trump is honest Abe
Compared to the evil Bitch
That sold uranium

To the Russian thugs
While slimy rat Bill Clinton
Took their rubles

That's not collusion
To Democrat Bolsheviks
The craven grifters-

Russian collusion
Yes it happened GD right
Under Demon rats

Please Tell Vlad, kind Sir.
Said Obola the jive @$$
I am flexible.
Haiku #62331, by Ugly Hombre of Kalifornia
February 20, 2019 2:27 am ET

Arriving home,drunk
Twenty minutes spent farting
Ahhhh...this is the life
Haiku #62330, by Drunk of Floor
February 20, 2019 12:21 am ET

Kleptomaniac
Out there on the dance floor now
Stealing all my moves
Haiku #62329, by Hottie of TORONTO
February 20, 2019 12:14 am ET

The wedding is off
You said you would find a job
Stop writing poems
Haiku #62328, by Bride not to be of Aisle
February 19, 2019 10:53 pm ET

Horseradish is not usually considered when deciding on flavors for cake frosting. Sometimes you get a hankering you just can not explain. Trust me, it is the Devil.
Haiku #62327, by Anonymous Poet
February 19, 2019 10:48 pm ET

Robotic sex slave
Original packaging
New and in the box
Haiku #62326, by Ron of Box
February 19, 2019 10:41 pm ET

Oh, how the crowd cheered
That's why no one noticed me
Balcony B.M.
Haiku #62325, by Wiper of Playbill
February 19, 2019 10:05 pm ET

I have an idea.
All organic zombie strips.
Wriggling jerky.
Haiku #62324, by Lord Figpucker, Esq.
February 19, 2019 7:52 pm ET

Preach it, Wong Lofan.
This is war against zombies.
Haiku our weapon.
Haiku #62323, by The hordes of the undead advance upon us rank upon rank, I smell the stench of the grave, behold the dull gaze of their dead eye
February 19, 2019 7:41 pm ET

Don't diss Orangeman...
Orange Savior Daddy Trump
give fire to man.
Haiku #62322, by Exalt the Holy Name of Donald of Vengeance is Mine Sayeth TRUMP
February 19, 2019 7:33 pm ET

Indian maidens
Chew yuca. Spit out wet paste
to ferment. Home brew.
Haiku #62321, by Amazonian Beer of Bare Amazonicas
February 19, 2019 7:29 pm ET

The eaters of paste
Unceremoniously
Thrown in wastebasket
Haiku #62320, by Your Teacher of Nicotine Fit
February 19, 2019 6:51 pm ET

He's small potatoes
Just look for the Orange Clown
There's your criminal
Haiku #62319, by Too obvious
February 19, 2019 5:19 pm ET

And the fake news shills
Jumped on the liars tall tale
And hollered like hell

Masterful liars
CNN,NBC-all
Spew proven bull chit

Egg on their faces
They care not a GD whit
And will keep lying,
Haiku #62318, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 19, 2019 4:49 pm ET

Another liar
Click. Oompa Loomp mugshot
Soon will bend for soap
Haiku #62317, by Orange is the new of Orange
February 19, 2019 4:42 pm ET

Clown Jussie Smollett.
No one cares that you are gay
Or that you are black

The law only cares
If you are a false liar chump
Equal under law.

So- can you dig it?
If you made a false statement
You will go to jail
Haiku #62316, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 19, 2019 4:32 pm ET

Benjamin Franklin
You invented the hard on?
Fist bumping you, bro
Haiku #62315, by Woody of Philadelphia
February 19, 2019 4:29 pm ET

Pleasant side effects
Daily dose of boner bills
Increased handsomeness
Haiku #62314, by Mirror Mirror of On the wall
February 19, 2019 4:25 pm ET

And then figpucker
shows up and shits all over
our lovely poems.

Bestiality.
Venerial disease scabs.
And boner pill spam.

You want "gems" then you
get to the jewelry store.
Or work in a mine.

Sounds adventurous?
African slave labor camps.
Wedding ring sparkles.
Haiku #62313, by Jerk, Jank, Snap, Crackle, Pop of Goes the Weasel.
February 19, 2019 3:39 pm ET

I'm not sure how we will get to the next poem. Sometimes it does not possible that one could appear. A pleasant surprise for all to see another gem.
Haiku #62312, by Anonymous Poet
February 19, 2019 12:58 pm ET

Since I was a kid
Grooved to Steely Dan
Mondegreen Gold mine
Haiku #62311, by Starkitten of PNW
February 19, 2019 9:55 am ET

I love Steely Dan.
Write a haiku about them . . .
Yeah. That's what I'll do.
Haiku #62310, by Donald Becker of Walter Fagen
February 19, 2019 8:28 am ET

Fish eyeballs for bait
We will reel in Moby Dick
Pan fry the bastard
Haiku #62309, by Captain of Sea
February 18, 2019 11:51 pm ET

That is when the fists started flying. You can imagine how that one went.
Haiku #62308, by Bro
February 18, 2019 11:46 pm ET

Hawaii was my first night out of legal age. I injested enough pineapples and psychedelics to knock out an entire commune. Only had one legitimate alcoholic drink and that
Haiku #62307, by Bro
February 18, 2019 11:45 pm ET

I think I know you
Did you work in Alaska?
If not, it
Haiku #62306, by Hi
February 18, 2019 11:42 pm ET

And the circus tent
Ok, those are my stretch pants
Off to the next town
Haiku #62305, by Send in the clowns of Don
February 18, 2019 9:05 pm ET

I stand corrected
Those bearded ladies I saw
That was a mirror
Haiku #62304, by Anonymous Poet
February 18, 2019 9:01 pm ET

I'm no fuckin' snitch.
Neighbors could have dead bodies.
I won't tell the pigs.
Haiku #62303, by Darth Figpucker of Fuck Da Police!
February 18, 2019 7:10 pm ET

Cooperation.
Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip.
Uh huh, yip yip yip.

Reminiscing of
the good old days when only
Bird could see Snuffy.

That pinball machine
counting to twelve was a trip.
Uncle Bob's acid.

That explains a lot.
I need to go to Cali
where the good drugs are.
Haiku #62302, by Darth Figpucker, the incredibly old and decrepit.
February 18, 2019 7:08 pm ET

Remember to call the police and inform them of your neighbors. It doesn
Haiku #62301, by Remember of Make that call
February 18, 2019 3:41 pm ET

Open sesame
Too late the seed is in your
Sesame seed buns
Haiku #62300, by The pleasure is mine of Brought to you by the Big Letter O
February 18, 2019 3:24 pm ET

Alien morsels.
Chocolate not of this world.
Saved by a monster.

I'm quite new to this.
Never had my ass eaten.
Same time tomorrow?

Bring Bert and Ernie.
But you can have all the chips.
Alien love seeds.
Haiku #62299, by df of Please don't impregnate me.
February 18, 2019 2:49 pm ET

Standing room only
It
Haiku #62298, by The big-O of Circus tent
February 18, 2019 1:59 pm ET

Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it is true I make a living traveling from city to town displaying my enormous member. I have just finished polishing the business end of things and once everyone is seated and tickets have been collected......
Haiku #62297, by Employed
February 18, 2019 1:13 pm ET

Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it
Haiku #62296, by Employed
February 18, 2019 1:12 pm ET

I can
Haiku #62295, by Grizzle Dean of Mountains
February 18, 2019 1:05 pm ET

Down here on the floor
Say, you have such shapely gams.
Blessed with three of them!
Haiku #62294, by Leg Man of Floor
February 18, 2019 1:03 pm ET

Blue Furry Hard On
Cookie Monster Arous ed
Me Love a Chocolate Chip

Asshole not too far
Phantom Tollbooth Cookie Hoke
Use blue fur poker

Me glad you enjoy
Me eat chocolate chip
Eat smelly brown dough
Haiku #62293, by Cookie Monster of Deep in ass
February 18, 2019 12:06 pm ET

This Murkan agrees.
I'd never heard of Smollett
till this fiasco.
Haiku #62292, by Nigerian Villain of Fake Noose
February 18, 2019 10:56 am ET

It is not fake news,
but it's sure irrelevant.
That's what 'Murkins love.
Haiku #62291, by df
February 18, 2019 10:26 am ET

Poor Jussie Smollett.
Had SO much going for him:
Black, gay, hated Trump. . .
Haiku #62290, by Either a hero or a victim of social injustice HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA cowfart
February 18, 2019 9:57 am ET

A chocolate chip.
Implanted deep in my ass.
Those damn aliens.
Haiku #62289, by df
February 18, 2019 9:03 am ET

You will order lunch
Drop to your knees in the line
Both arms outstretched

Demand pickle juice
If you are able to speak
Ask for a refill
Haiku #62288, by High AF Noon
February 18, 2019 7:23 am ET

I've seen the Gill Man
Shapeshifting Reptillian
Casual sunset
Haiku #62287, by His reflection of In a door
February 18, 2019 7:16 am ET

Where did I leave off..oh yes, and furthermore, you will be asked to walk away from all you have ever known. The unfamiliar will be the new familiar. Don't bother to analyze what you are becoming. There is no turning back or chance for repair. Your chip was implanted decades ago.
Haiku #62286, by I know of You know
February 18, 2019 7:13 am ET

I saw that movie
Delivery guy left tip
Bobbitt Residence
Haiku #62285, by Delivery in 6 inches or less of Or it is free
February 18, 2019 7:08 am ET

That's sure is funny.
Pizza's exactly what came.
Then so did your wife.
Haiku #62284, by df
February 18, 2019 2:51 am ET