BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
4 Days
and
60984 Haikus
later...
Did they operate
On your head Figpucker friend?
I hope you are ok
Haiku #60984, by Starkitten
November 17, 2018 4:43 am ET

My head hurts so bad,
I want to remove my brain.
Feed it to the pigs.
Haiku #60983, by df
November 17, 2018 4:32 am ET

Cegno do this now
Sometimes Starkitten bossy
So, I
Haiku #60982, by Cegno
November 17, 2018 2:25 am ET

I have never been
To the heart of this city
Worry of mugging
Haiku #60981, by Cegno
November 17, 2018 2:21 am ET

No room for error
When you find your hand has stuck
To what you has thieved
Haiku #60980, by Cegno
November 17, 2018 1:08 am ET

Impersonal self
The derealization
Need 4 cigarettes
Haiku #60979, by Cegno of Roof
November 17, 2018 1:01 am ET

On the roof. Smoking.
So I endure fear of height
This makes me nervous
Haiku #60978, by Cegno of Roof
November 17, 2018 12:51 am ET

Office Holiday
A party I may attend
Inebriated
Haiku #60977, by Cegno of Certain
November 17, 2018 12:28 am ET

Overconfident
My colleague boasts. I stay quiet
Boss wife favor me
Haiku #60976, by Cegno
November 16, 2018 10:59 pm ET

I can say it here
This spaceship has been removed
To remote cavern
Haiku #60975, by Cegno of Beyond
November 16, 2018 10:56 pm ET

I read their remarks
Tried to keep an open mind
The taste was not good
Haiku #60974, by Cegno of Yelp of restaurant
November 16, 2018 10:52 pm ET

Half the time I wait
For the signal to transmit
Before I dare breathe
Haiku #60973, by Cegno
November 16, 2018 10:49 pm ET

Yes, you do.
Haiku #60972, by
November 16, 2018 9:26 pm ET

From the time you start
You have never had a chance
I don
Haiku #60971, by Anonymous Poet
November 16, 2018 8:57 pm ET

Come on vhs.
Nothing we do will matter.
Nor antimatter.

You need to just be.
Whatever it is you are.
Even a poet.

Well, that's pretty low.
Or maybe a garbage man.
Or a bank robber.

Just do it.
Why ask why?
Celebrate the moments of your life.
It keeps going and going and going...
and stops.
Haiku #60970, by df of Pardon Me, But Do You Have any Grey Poupon?
November 15, 2018 11:43 pm ET

It was a mistake
Used my dick as toilet snake
Ruined my own plumbing
Haiku #60969, by Anonymous Poet
November 15, 2018 11:41 pm ET

Tortoises fucking.
They make the funniest sounds.
But then, so do we.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOxLdklbuj0
Haiku #60968, by df
November 15, 2018 11:34 pm ET

Fuck you if I'll eat
hard boiled duck embryos.
Not for stinky farts.

Pomelo fruit's best
for stinky farts like a skunk.
Durian, less so.

When I see balut.
It's aborted Daffy Duck.
I just can't do that.
Haiku #60967, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 15, 2018 11:31 pm ET

Familiar Tortoise
Face kinda looks like Crowley
Oh yeah, Barbara Bush!

Look, there's another
Parachuting down to earth
Cue: "Let's get it on ..."
Haiku #60966, by Zoo goer of Zoo
November 15, 2018 11:30 pm ET

Stealthy dragonfly.
Lands softly on the tortoise.
Foghat's "Slow Ride" plays.
Haiku #60965, by the hair of the dog
November 15, 2018 11:23 pm ET

My name was Cegno
They confiscated my smokes
Kept me in small room

Interrogation
I answered all their questions
And they let me go
Haiku #60964, by Cegno
November 15, 2018 11:18 pm ET

Such redundancy;
Haiku does the red dunce-dance:
Excremental health.
Haiku #60963, by Execration of Excremeditation
November 15, 2018 11:04 pm ET

That Darth Figpucker
Somewhere eating balut eggs
And Durian farts
Haiku #60962, by Anonymous Poet
November 15, 2018 4:24 pm ET

Attention: Poets!
Was I just reading James Joyce?
Or was that Joyce James
Haiku #60961, by Ellen Jamesian of Blow Job
November 15, 2018 4:18 pm ET

Don't listen to her
My sister has been on my street since I got a sister to the sister who was a sister sister who has a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a lot of work on the way she is and I have a lot to do and I am a sister sister and I have been able for the best way she said that I have a lot to say
Haiku #60960, by Her sister
November 15, 2018 12:05 am ET

My sister was on her way she was like a woman and I am a woman who has a lot to say to the people that I have been told not yet I have to say I have been the same as a person and I'm a good person to say that the person I was a person to say I have a lot to do and not do anything for a person that is a woman who is not the woman that person who has a lot to do is just not a person that is a person and I have to be the woman that has a lot of things to say about her
Haiku #60959, by Person of With a lot to say
November 14, 2018 11:54 pm ET

I don't have much to
do with this place anymore
I feel like a lot

of what I have done
on line has brought a side of
myself out that makes

me want to delete the whole thing
Haiku #60958, by vhs
November 14, 2018 10:04 pm ET

Politics - nothing
to do with being polite,
but a parasite.

Poly, Greek for many.
Ticks, blood sucking parasites.
Therefore politics.
Haiku #60957, by df
November 14, 2018 5:54 pm ET

Swoosh mush mush mush
Swoosh swoosh mush mush flush
Just wiping my tush
Haiku #60956, by Flush of In no rush
November 14, 2018 3:24 pm ET

Tremendous, YUGE YUGE
TREMENDOUS TREMENDOUS YUGE
TREMENDOUS ASSHOLE
Haiku #60955, by Trump of Mirror
November 14, 2018 12:38 pm ET

Wipe out deficit.
Trump raped hard on Pay-Per-View.
Bigly yuge profits.

You must admit it.
Who WOULDN'T pay to see THAT!
Well, besides Sanders.
Haiku #60954, by df
November 14, 2018 7:36 am ET

You say Trump is bad.
He's sure got a purty mouth.
Orange Deliverance.
Haiku #60953, by df of Funny how a billionaire can bring out the hillbilly in people.
November 14, 2018 7:28 am ET

Debunking theories
Mosquitoes aren't attractive
Criminals walk free
Haiku #60952, by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
November 14, 2018 5:01 am ET

Bad haiku is bad
Very, very bad like Trump
Everyone agrees
Haiku #60951, by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
November 14, 2018 4:38 am ET

Concise poetry.
Perceived as being profound.
You give it meaning.
Haiku #60950, by the hair of the dog
November 14, 2018 4:33 am ET

Cryzosza mi fucq
Cognoscenti ni senza
Fazool na prexii
Haiku #60949, by Cegno
November 14, 2018 12:37 am ET

Do vegetables poop?
I've never had a garden
Do they poop out soil?
Haiku #60948, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 10:52 pm ET

All poetry smells
Curried turds and curdled words
Greasy gopher farts
Haiku #60947, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET

Cracking pygmies open
Like Harry and David nuts
Get at the sweet meat
Haiku #60946, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 8:15 pm ET

Reamed garden gnome ass
Napoleon's slippery dick
Caught them in the act!

That upset stomach
Swallowed too much plastic cum
Met his Waterglue
Haiku #60945, by Historian
November 13, 2018 8:14 pm ET

Dead poets smell bad.
And their poetry smells worse.
Ask Robin Williams.
Haiku #60944, by df
November 13, 2018 7:26 pm ET

Wet thumb to the wind
Disgruntled seabirds. Bent mast.
Who spiked the brownies?
Haiku #60943, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 5:36 pm ET

Gnomes, little people,
dwarves, midgets, runts, and pigmies.
Napoleon's kids.

For an emperor,
he was one whorin' mofo.
Sidious, take note!
Haiku #60942, by df
November 13, 2018 5:30 pm ET

Do not eat pussy.
You must devour that shit!
Make her feel consumed.
Haiku #60941, by df
November 13, 2018 5:24 pm ET

Poops of tomorrow.
Funkin' hairy hos. Pubic floss.
Preened from Allah's beard.
Haiku #60940, by df
November 13, 2018 5:23 pm ET

How would you describe
Garden gnomes' ejaculate?
Smelly superglue
Haiku #60939, by Person of In the know
November 13, 2018 4:35 pm ET

Soups of Yesteryear
Shrunken cheerios. Pussy hairs.
Gleaned from Ahab's beard
Haiku #60938, by Little Shaver
November 13, 2018 4:30 pm ET

Ocean brine freezes.
It clings to the old man's beard.
A familiar friend.
Haiku #60937, by the hair of the dog
November 13, 2018 4:15 pm ET

Grunting in the rain
Wiping with the biggest leaves
Damp. dank. A delight
Haiku #60936, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 2:52 pm ET

No one ever sees
So I have set up brocadcast
Next bowel movement
Haiku #60935, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 2:49 pm ET