BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
339 Days
and
60278 Haikus
later...
Laughing at hoofprints
New horse in my living room
Handsome Hawkeye Pierce
Haiku #60278, by Starkitten of Living room with new foal
October 18, 2018 3:43 am ET

Subdued Excitement
Taming unwanted boner
Live Weather Report
Haiku #60277, by Weatherman with unwanted boner of On Air
October 18, 2018 3:37 am ET

Medicinal scones
A decidedly High Tea
At 4:20 sharp
Haiku #60276, by Herb
October 18, 2018 3:33 am ET

Always a challenge
Hopping up on the barstool
Drink til I fall off
Haiku #60275, by Drunk of Barstool
October 18, 2018 3:27 am ET

Hey man I'm sorry
I didn't mean to flush it
Your prize winning turd
Haiku #60274, by Flusher of Terlit
October 18, 2018 3:21 am ET

Hard Wood floor perverse
Haiku #60273, by Anonymous Poet
October 18, 2018 12:25 am ET

message from the floor
I like looking up your dress.
Walk on me... spike heels!
Haiku #60272, by Carpet Section of Home Depot
October 18, 2018 12:23 am ET

Heated seats and farts
A wet bratwurst sulphur slaw
Tailgating. Go Team!
Haiku #60271, by Janitors who hates this life of They don't call them bleachers for nothing
October 18, 2018 12:16 am ET

she said people say
things are ironic that aren't
it's quite ironic
Haiku #60270, by goku!
October 17, 2018 8:35 pm ET

Huge bowel movement.
Dump so big, my soul feels purged.
Flush those sins away.
Haiku #60269, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 17, 2018 7:39 pm ET

maple leaf you say ?
canada legalises
the world keeps turning
Haiku #60268, by ash
October 17, 2018 7:44 am ET

Worker bees can leave.
Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave.
Haiku #60267, by Travis Ruprecht Cornelius
October 17, 2018 7:37 am ET

The floor is Lava
Sub par restrooms. Heck, no!
Go outside. Use leaves.
Haiku #60266, by Bucket of My Ass
October 17, 2018 3:26 am ET

Any country where
public restrooms don't provide
TP... I hate them.

Donald Trump was right
when he said "shithole countries".
And only that once.

Toilets typically
don't have a seat, just a bowl.
Flush with a bucket.
Haiku #60265, by df
October 17, 2018 1:28 am ET

Can't post late at night
The "tablet" is Viagra
Table keeps lifting
Haiku #60264, by It's Magic of Electric Light Orchestra Pit
October 17, 2018 12:37 am ET

Sometimes Snoopy wins
And he dances on his house
Dog dish on his head
Haiku #60263, by C. Ya of In the Funny Pages
October 17, 2018 12:32 am ET

Kid hated reading
Gross. Pages stuck together.
Books made Dad horny
Haiku #60262, by Concerned Librarian of Library
October 17, 2018 12:29 am ET

Ben Denofer (here)
Barb Dwyer (here) Rob Graves (here)
Patty O'Lantern?
Haiku #60261, by Canadian of Might as well go for a soda too
October 17, 2018 12:24 am ET

Should one move to France?
Brioche, Cats on tables, wine
Bidets, bread, berets
Haiku #60260, by Oui of France
October 17, 2018 12:20 am ET

Bad music fart flute
Your windsong stays on my mind
Leaves skids on my sheets
Haiku #60259, by Avon Lady of Ding Dong ( got something to keep mosquitoes off... oh never mind)
October 17, 2018 12:16 am ET

Mosquito bites dink
Dink swells to almost average size
Swat pest? Maybe not...
Haiku #60258, by Anonymous Poet
October 17, 2018 12:13 am ET

A lamb raised by wolves
Luckily they didn't have
Any teeth or claws
Haiku #60257, by MONARCH of Zoo
October 16, 2018 11:19 pm ET

VHS, you young
whippersnapper, it's no fad.
All their gens the same.

Craving bad music,
worse food, throw trash to the wind,
and can't stand reading.

I'm not being rude.
Young and old, it's what they do.
Should I move to France?

I hate apathy.
Maybe more than mosquitoes.
They have both in spades.
Haiku #60256, by df
October 16, 2018 9:21 pm ET

DF old friend, now
history must go on, we
fight incompetence

every few gens you
see, sometimes woodstock wins it
sometimes, World War II
Haiku #60255, by vhs
October 16, 2018 8:35 pm ET

I'm not able to
post late night, some technical
tablet issues...see
Haiku #60254, by vhs
October 16, 2018 8:34 pm ET

Is Chivalry dead?
Damn syllables in distress
Jumpstart my haiku?
Haiku #60253, by Starkitten of Haiku Highway Milepost 575
October 16, 2018 8:12 pm ET

Teach them Haiku moves
You show up. Dance like Tom Cruise
In Fruit of the Loom

VHS will pay
Top dollar. Haiku scholar.
Recruits drink baluts
Haiku #60252, by Secret Assistant to VHS of Voice in his head
October 16, 2018 4:27 pm ET

I have lost all faith.
Twerking: the new school subject.
Pole dancing is next.

Government sponsored.
They seem to think this is art.
Love the Philippines.

Such a backwards place.
Litter, bad food, pollution,
whores don't use condoms.

If they spent as much money on health care education, and trash pick-up programs and infrastructure as they did on "dancing" in school programs and awards ceremonies for "who has the cleanest fingernails" (or something equally as stupid), it might be a good place to live. Other than that, stay away. Best advice I can give you. Philippines bad. Thailand good. Might pay Korea a visit some day. Korean food kicks ass.

Thailand has come a long way in 20 years. Serious improvements. The Philippines just keeps sinking deeper and deeper into the dark ages. Living there will make you lose all hope in humanity.
Haiku #60251, by df
October 16, 2018 2:54 pm ET

Carved our initials
Century old Balete Tree
Put up tire swing
Haiku #60250, by Witchy Island
October 16, 2018 1:55 pm ET

Split. Bite size pieces
Safest way to eat hot dog
(Mega Jumbo size)
Haiku #60249, by Admirer
October 16, 2018 1:48 pm ET

The Siquijor whores
selling souvenirs to fend
off evil spirits.

I just laugh and say,
"It doesn't work or else I
would be kept away."

Then they tell me where
I can buy some cooked children.
Gotta love witches.

Needs barbecue sauce.
Other than that it's not bad.
Island of devils.
Haiku #60248, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 16, 2018 1:27 pm ET

I want my head pierced.
Steve Martin's arrow, but real.
That would be extreme.

Open heart tattoo.
If you want to prove your love.
Talk about extreme!
Haiku #60247, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 16, 2018 1:18 pm ET

Extreme body mod.
Only split end is penis.
Someone tell me why.
Haiku #60246, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 16, 2018 1:14 pm ET

He's such a nice guy
He's got the best hair ever
No split ends in sight
Haiku #60245, by Mack. Looking crazy and handsome of Philippines souvenir shop
October 16, 2018 12:43 pm ET

Figpucker. Mansion
Truckload of Conditioner
Glad to blow this load
Haiku #60244, by Mack. Looking crazy and handsome
October 16, 2018 12:17 pm ET

Snaggletooth Blow Job
Breathing new life into old game
Turtle Head pokes out
Haiku #60243, by Kennebunkport resident of Undisclosed
October 16, 2018 12:08 pm ET

the old life is gone
the new one will never know
time burns all bridges
Haiku #60242, by df
October 16, 2018 10:46 am ET

*they're... shoot me now.
Haiku #60241, by Anonymous Poet
October 16, 2018 10:26 am ET

Tortoises mating.
Parents say that its leap frog.
No, mom, their fucking.
Haiku #60240, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 16, 2018 10:26 am ET

Deadliest of snot.
Exploding monkey boogers.
Bursting zoo windows.
Haiku #60239, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 16, 2018 6:19 am ET

I think I am gay.
I just drank two apple beers.
What's more gay than that?!
Haiku #60238, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 16, 2018 4:15 am ET

There's a huge problem.
It's right down inside my pants.
The back, not the front.
Haiku #60237, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 16, 2018 4:11 am ET

Asleep at the wheel
Chaos! Noise Lights Farts....Steering
Long haul guardrail graze
Haiku #60236, by Mack. Looking crazy and handsome of Mack's Truck
October 16, 2018 2:59 am ET

Semi-Consciousness
Breathing Farts. Having visions
A Back end blow out
Haiku #60235, by Mack of Rest Area (with showers)
October 16, 2018 12:45 am ET

Driving and thinking
Mighty strange thoughts. Full Moon.
Practice Thriller Dance
Haiku #60234, by Mack
October 16, 2018 12:41 am ET

Pissing in a can
Then chuck it out my window
I love truck driving
Haiku #60233, by Mack
October 16, 2018 12:36 am ET

Whiskey on the floor
Falling for you. Falling apart
Giving you my fart
Haiku #60232, by Anonymous Poet
October 16, 2018 12:34 am ET

There's someone I know
Went to Africa said the
Pygmies have great weed
Haiku #60231, by Surprising Facts of Africa
October 16, 2018 12:23 am ET

Get Help. Sign up now.
Hair Conditioner Anon
Friend of Vidal S.
Haiku #60230, by Anonymous Poet
October 16, 2018 12:14 am ET

Freedom from desire
It irritates some people
I say good riddance
Haiku #60229, by MONARCH of Happy Fun Making Time
October 16, 2018 12:02 am ET