BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
193 Days
and
64875 Haikus
later...
warm enchiladas
a salted margarita
cinco de mayo
Haiku #64822, by SacScratcher of Milky Way Galaxy
May 15, 2019 12:41 pm ET

I tried to register as a sex offender, but they said to be a registered sex offender you first have to commit and be convicted of a sex offense... So you're telling me that I can commit sex offenses before being registered? That's like saying you can drive before you get your license. What's the point?!
Haiku #64821, by Why is beastiality considered cruelty to animals? They don't seem to mind.
May 15, 2019 11:12 am ET

So many shit ticks
here in the Lard's pig garden...
but Cunt's stuck on Darth.
Haiku #64820, by Unhealthy obsession.
May 15, 2019 11:05 am ET

So many topics
here in the Lord's big garden...
but Darth's stuck on shit.
Haiku #64819, by Seriously, can you imagine dining with him? YUCK.
May 15, 2019 9:07 am ET

Gary Gardengnome
Has just been added to the
sex offenders list
Haiku #64818, by Dink Puller of High AF
May 14, 2019 11:18 pm ET

Syllable Lectern
Cannibal haiku poet
His farts smell like you
Haiku #64817, by Erudite Cassowary of The Plains of Guano
May 14, 2019 7:21 pm ET

Pie slant slop piling
Thought way poo popsicle meat
Sith Frodo detached
Haiku #64816, by Seahorse boners.
May 14, 2019 6:07 pm ET

Meghan Markle's cunt
High in carbs,low in fiber
Not very healthy
Haiku #64815, by .....until murder made him famous
May 14, 2019 4:58 pm ET

I can t stop smiling
Got a new bicycle seat
with dildo attached
Haiku #64814, by As it smiles below of So it smiles above
May 14, 2019 3:14 pm ET

I can
Haiku #64813, by As it smiles below of So it smiles above
May 14, 2019 3:14 pm ET

Blue zit fuzz whore ass
Azure blow, post love thigh twerk
Fizz unedited
Haiku #64812, by Anonymous Poet
May 14, 2019 1:54 pm ET

Knew it was your ass
As you know, most of my work
Is uncredited
Haiku #64811, by John Boy Walton's mole of Cheek
May 14, 2019 1:40 pm ET

I just smell like poop.
That's my distended rectum.
It's hard to keep clean.

When I poo it's like
alien queen laying eggs.
I love Aliens.

I can hear Ripley.
Get away from her, YOU BITCH!
My Hollywood role.

The Alien's cunt.
That was really my asshole.
And you never knew.
Haiku #64810, by Darth Figpucker.
May 14, 2019 11:10 am ET

Lets bomb a dog show.
They used to be wolves, you know.
Free the canine beast!
Haiku #64809, by God I hate humans.
May 14, 2019 11:01 am ET

But that isn't me.
I'm afraid that's my poems.
Smell how they fester!
Haiku #64808, by The Evil Lord Figpucker
May 14, 2019 10:57 am ET

I can smell you, Darth.
Your miasma drifts my way
Like something that died.
Haiku #64807, by Putrefaction of Stupification
May 14, 2019 9:39 am ET

Through the window I
See his cock invade your mouth
Bitmoji heartclutch
Haiku #64806, by Ledge of Kentucky
May 14, 2019 9:11 am ET

Underwear stained red.
Pork blood cubes diarrhea.
Or my period.
Haiku #64805, by Unintentionally trangenderified.
May 14, 2019 8:36 am ET

I just shat my pants.
Wait... sorry, those were your pants.
Now you put them on.
Haiku #64804, by Special needs fashion show.
May 14, 2019 8:32 am ET

Pork blood jello cubes.
Well, that is what they look like.
It's what's for dessert.
Haiku #64803, by Anonymous Poet
May 14, 2019 7:24 am ET

Chicken intestines
skewered on a sharp wood stick
grilled and doused in sauce.
Haiku #64802, by only 5 pesos! of So delish!
May 14, 2019 7:23 am ET

Better an F-bomb
Than NH4NO3
mixed with diesel fuel.
Haiku #64801, by Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. of It doesn't hurt anyone.
May 14, 2019 7:11 am ET

Unoriginal.
Silly little copy cat.
Go find your own filth!

This is my cesspool.
Like a spring hottub party.
The turds are my friends.

Better friends than you.
And they do not stink as bad.
And keep their mouths shut.
Haiku #64800, by Anonymous Poet
May 14, 2019 7:06 am ET

Silly little man
Sad scrawler of endless filth
Zip your lip now, child.
Haiku #64799, by Soul Mama of the Skies
May 14, 2019 4:20 am ET

Those damn nasty gnomes.
I caught them playing frisbee
with my peeled cock scabs.
Haiku #64798, by Aerodynamic, indeed!
May 14, 2019 3:40 am ET

Holy Christ fuck shit!
What horrible fuckery!
You should be ashamed!
Haiku #64797, by When you yawn I shove in my cock. of Pretend the salty scabs are beef jerky.
May 14, 2019 3:37 am ET

This is what happened
To Julian Assange's
Cat: waterboarded

Which is very cruel
Because cats obviously
Hate when they get wet
Haiku #64796, by Allium cepa
May 14, 2019 1:00 am ET

McCain's brain tumor
Went on CNN and they
Called it "War Hero"

Stelter frigging cried
Van had a panic attack
Wolf jumped up and down
Haiku #64795, by Allium cepa
May 14, 2019 12:55 am ET

Poor Pompeii bastard
Eternal game of statues
Choking his chicken
Haiku #64794, by Statues of No Limitations of Ask about our Statue of Liberty with strap on dildo attachment
May 13, 2019 11:27 pm ET

I fucked the Baker
And the Candlestick Maker
Next, Sam the Butcher
Haiku #64793, by Alice (housekeeper) of Still have wax up in there
May 13, 2019 11:22 pm ET

this is hella gay
I am supposed to be doing
a history pro (ject)
Haiku #64792, by procrastinator of the south
May 13, 2019 11:16 pm ET

I really hate hai-
kus they make me wanna die
this took 15 mins
Haiku #64791, by poop sock of pee pee island
May 13, 2019 11:10 pm ET

Googly eyed wang
Tattoo a shark face on it
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-doo
Haiku #64790, by Baby shark of Doodoodoodoodoo
May 13, 2019 10:06 pm ET

Flour fucking yeast infection beer drunk dili-rius tremors aftershock schnapps douche emergency room scandal. Turtle cunt muddy twat. Give us this day our daily yeast infection. For giving us flatus, forgive those who flatus against us. God hates you and wants you to die, and that's why God made gasoline.
Haiku #64789, by 200 kg funt. of Won't fit my cart.
May 13, 2019 9:08 pm ET

He was not guilty.
The attack was ordered by
President George Bush
Haiku #64788, by 12076-064
May 13, 2019 8:55 pm ET

I'm ordering in
I'm thinking a big ten inch
(Chinese people laugh)
Haiku #64787, by Person who buys plastic and silicone items of Discrete packaging ( can't hide the bulge)
May 13, 2019 6:33 pm ET

The New World Order
A Project for a New Islamic Century
Haiku #64786, by Troll of DeepState
May 13, 2019 6:01 pm ET

Rolling in the flour
So you can find the wet spot
Darn yeast infection!
Haiku #64785, by mojo risin of levitating table used at last supper
May 13, 2019 4:28 pm ET

The baker fucked me
With hard, day old baguette bread
The best stuffing ever
Haiku #64784, by Carbo Derek of 10
May 13, 2019 2:22 pm ET

What do you call it?
When fresh bread gets a hard on?
A raging crouton!!
Haiku #64783, by Mrs. cubbison's whoremaster of under the table
May 13, 2019 1:48 pm ET

Get back to work now.
Those cocks will not suck themselves!
Make me some money!

Did I stutter, bitch?!
Yes, you, mister poet fag!
What the fuck you got?!
Haiku #64782, by Cassowary Cassorole. of You got nothin'!
May 13, 2019 11:50 am ET

Depravity... yawn.
Eating fetuses. How dull.
Is that all you've got?
Haiku #64781, by Silly Boy of Pretending to Be Bad
May 13, 2019 9:37 am ET

God is like Beavis.
Just look at the universe.
That is proof enough.
Haiku #64780, by Beavis also says schlong.
May 13, 2019 8:28 am ET

Cassowary cunt.
Not quite as tight as chickens',
But a fun challenge.
Haiku #64779, by Mary, Mary quite contrary to the ordinary, be wary of the scary cassowary.
May 13, 2019 8:25 am ET

God laughed the loudest
Then he pulled out his big schlong
And caused an earthquake
Haiku #64778, by smite Runner
May 13, 2019 5:56 am ET

Penis weigh station
Embarrassing to be puny
Everyone laughing
Haiku #64777, by tiny pecker of hiding
May 13, 2019 5:54 am ET

Two bitcoin blowjob
A postcard from that mean bird
Cassowary Cum
Haiku #64776, by Lavatory Laureate of bird watching
May 13, 2019 3:07 am ET

Semen cannonball
Where's my morning after pill
You Neaderthal?
Haiku #64775, by I can see clearly now of The spooge is gone
May 13, 2019 2:19 am ET

Aboursiones? Depends how they're cooked!

We went to the abortion clinic just the other day.
And we were really hungry so we had to say...
Feed us. Feed us. Feed us.
Hey, what it is we don't care.
Feed us a fetus, feed us a fetus.
I'll take mine medium rare!
--Bo Burnham

This actor's guild/union, our payment for performing in this play -- coffee, beer, and a few orgasms. Fleeting currency universal BitCoin and the more depraved and dilapidated it all becomes, the more value it has and there is no reason for it all.

Do not cum in me.
I'll give birth to Donald Trump.
Dayglo afterbirth.

There is NO hope for the future and, while abortion is immoral and wrong and we should NOT deprive those little cocksuckers of their chance at life/suffering and misery, abortion is preemptive euthanasia. The youth in Asia support euthanasia. Flush them all. Deprive the Holy Audience of their Comical Play. It's the only true rebellion. Take up your full auto weapons and have a shopping mall hunting party. Or if you'd rather...

Ingest mutagens.
Give God His entertainment.
Two-headed lead role.

Dried pussy mucus.
Also known as cunt boogers.
Roll it 'tween your toes.
Haiku #64774, by I selected street lights and buses. of How exciting!
May 13, 2019 12:26 am ET

eternity
fetish
entropy
dilemma
mystical
harvest
Haiku #64773, by cyborg
May 12, 2019 11:47 pm ET