Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

I opened the book
Saw lots of dirty pictures
Then I jerked off

It was a long read
Thanks for letting me borrow
Your Holy Bible
Haiku # 64679, May 8, 2019 8:50 pm ET
by Avid reader
Your small genitals
Under investigation
Check is in the mail
Haiku # 64678, May 8, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by God of Sent u a refund cause I gave u tiny junk
Be on the lookout
For a crybaby poet
With a short penis
Haiku # 64677, May 8, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of His feet are small, too
DARTH all over here.
The truth is, well, you're boring.
(And predictable)
Haiku # 64676, May 8, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Master oF arts
Playing with myself
In my rig at the truck stop
The oversized load
Haiku # 64675, May 8, 2019 1:54 pm ET
by Mack of Truck Stop
Humiliation
You have your meat hanging out
But no one wants it
Haiku # 64674, May 8, 2019 1:50 pm ET
by Smelly fart
How Jesus got AIDS
Is a mystery to me
Was it drugs or sex?
Haiku # 64673, May 8, 2019 8:17 am ET
by Memoirs of A geisha
I am watching you
But you don t think I see you
Look into my eyes
Haiku # 64672, May 8, 2019 7:24 am ET
by You will
I am watching you
But you don
Haiku # 64671, May 8, 2019 7:23 am ET
by You
Who was that one freak?
Roamed the world eating strange stuff.
Made a TV show.
Haiku # 64670, May 8, 2019 3:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snake semen latte.
They drink that in India.
Mixed with sweet chai tea.

Commune with Shiva.
Puts a wiggle in your hips.
The spirits of snakes.
Haiku # 64669, May 8, 2019 3:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The ejaculate
Brought forth from ten thousand snakes
I smirk as you gag
Haiku # 64668, May 8, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Lavatory Laureate of Lavatory
Do you drink weird bier?
No, I much prefer wierd beir.
That's what's in my stien.
Haiku # 64667, May 8, 2019 2:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wearing a t-shirt
that says "Stay Weird" upside down
does not make you weird.
Haiku # 64666, May 8, 2019 2:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bodily functions
do not make for good topics
of fine poetry.
Haiku # 64665, May 8, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Middle-aged women
should probably not dye their
hair bright pink and blue.
Haiku # 64664, May 8, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wish you had AIDS
so I could anticipate
your suffering death.
Haiku # 64663, May 8, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Excuse me, monkeys.
Did you see my banana?
I know it was here.
Haiku # 64662, May 8, 2019 1:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It all boils down to
Penis of a certain length
Turns red like lobster
Haiku # 64661, May 7, 2019 6:39 pm ET
by Snapper
Alcoholic fool
Plenty more where that came from
Be sure not to drive
Haiku # 64660, May 7, 2019 6:37 pm ET
by Smarten up
Haiku are so gay.
Just one small haiku equals
a hundred sucked cocks.
Haiku # 64659, May 7, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by oops!
Update to really bad Haiku

it is 5 p m
a blue planet revolving
gin and tonic bliss
Haiku # 64658, May 7, 2019 4:09 pm ET
by SacScratcher of Milky Way Galaxy
it is five p m
somewhere on this blue planet
gin and tonic is born
Haiku # 64657, May 7, 2019 4:02 pm ET
by SacScratcher of Milky Way Galaxy
I wish I had AIDS
So I could kill somebody
Just by fucking them
Haiku # 64656, May 7, 2019 1:43 pm ET
by Gulity of 1st degree murder
Haiku is like gold:
it is totally worthless
except for the shine.
Haiku # 64655, May 7, 2019 12:26 pm ET
by Goldy Himmelfarb
When playing in other people's poop
you've made a better choice
than writing haiku.
Haiku # 64654, May 7, 2019 6:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When playing in other people's poop
it is important to forget
that they might have strange diseases.
Haiku # 64653, May 7, 2019 6:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The bible was wrong
Mary wasn't a virgin
She was fucked plenty
Haiku # 64652, May 7, 2019 4:39 am ET
by Going out of Business sale
Chief Diarrhea
His bravery remembered
He walked the Brown Trail
Haiku # 64651, May 7, 2019 2:51 am ET
by Fecal Historians Society
Jesus must be happy to be slandered
by a petulant scumbag who has
the charisma of a rodent gloating
about the poison it's eating
I've met rats with better personalities
which says a lot because rats eat their own shit and you might too but at least rats don't brag about it
Haiku # 64650, May 7, 2019 2:11 am ET
by Anonymous Prophet
When playing in your own poop
It is important to remember
You are the only one covered in poop
Haiku # 64649, May 7, 2019 1:17 am ET
by Advice for Retarded Satanist
Somersault Handstand
Jumping Jack Jumping Jack split
Wank. Ejaculate
Haiku # 64648, May 6, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Darthrobics of Fitness Gymnasium
Tsunami of filth
syllabic, dull, moronic:
lyric mind of Darth
Haiku # 64647, May 6, 2019 6:06 pm ET
by Haiku Antiseptic Spray of Poetic Hygiene Vigilante Squad
Inconsolable
Sehnsucht identified now
It's Cedric; Mark him
Haiku # 64646, May 6, 2019 4:44 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Jesus is hairless
He keeps a flavor savor
On his chin sometimes
Haiku # 64645, May 6, 2019 3:39 pm ET
by Tuna
Jesus has a beard
To cover the cum splotches
Gotten through the years
Haiku # 64644, May 6, 2019 2:43 pm ET
by Failure of The mental health system
I'm in the next stall
I'm shitting like a racehorse
I'm scratched from the race
Haiku # 64643, May 6, 2019 12:00 pm ET
by All bets are off
It is what it is
Radioactivity
Leaking from my ass
Haiku # 64642, May 6, 2019 11:51 am ET
by It is what it is
Bad. It's BAD BAD BAD.
That is what this Haiku is.
All because of you.
Haiku # 64641, May 6, 2019 10:37 am ET
by Excavated Tombs of Haiku
Watch me lift this car
Dead lifting an Elephant
Proof of my manhood
Haiku # 64640, May 6, 2019 1:48 am ET
by Man with microscopic penis of In my sports car
Hi.

I have a very short questionnaire I'd like to present and thank you in advance for answering.

Do you prefer Listerine, Scope, or Colgate mouthwash?

And what is your preferred flavor?

It's for a class project.

Thanks again.
Haiku # 64639, May 6, 2019 1:06 am ET
by student
Necrophilia
Among the only reasons
To like dead people
Haiku # 64638, May 6, 2019 12:36 am ET
by Can't think of A fucking thing
Charlie died for you
Your fake Jesus was God s son?
Charlie was Mans Son
Haiku # 64637, May 6, 2019 12:23 am ET
by Witchy of Creepy Crawling
I said EAT YOUR MUSH
I don t wanna eat my mush
I SAID EAT YOUR MUSH!
Haiku # 64636, May 6, 2019 12:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I said EAT YOUR MUSH
I don
Haiku # 64635, May 6, 2019 12:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yes
Charlie Manson is dead
And you will be too, soon enough
Haiku # 64634, May 6, 2019 12:19 am ET
by Anonymous Prophet
Best part of the night
When Jesus made the table
Levitate (No Hands)
Haiku # 64633, May 5, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by Mary Magdalene knows how of Under Table
Is there a difference
Between the Lord Jesus Christ
And Charlie Manson?
Haiku # 64632, May 5, 2019 10:15 pm ET
by Squeaky Fromunda of Mouse who lives under a slab of cheese
In all fairness Catholic doctrine states
Jesus was adopted and is God
And is therefore his own father
Seem to have serious daddy issues
Completely ignoring John 3;1-8
But religion is not God
At least Catholics believe something
And don't just post poop/sex haikus
Haiku # 64631, May 5, 2019 10:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Prophet
Honor the Father and the Mother
And the one speaking evil
Of father or mother
In death must end
Haiku # 64630, May 5, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Prophet of Matthew 15;4
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