Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Cassowary sex
An unplanned vasectomy
Thug bird physician
Haiku # 63775, April 14, 2019 10:24 pm ET
by Very Wary
I own a letter
that's signed by T.L. Osborne.
It's there on my shelf.
Haiku # 63774, April 14, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
when df dies he won't go to heaven
because of the bad things he did
he won't go to hell either because
he wasn't quite evil enough to molest his own children (right?) instead he will spend his next lifetime incarnated as steve buscemi's favorite set of anal beads... after he ate a lot of spicy food
Haiku # 63773, April 14, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Sparklepony, MD of I'M BACK!!!
Had I known better
I would not have attempted
Cassowary sex
Haiku # 63772, April 14, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Messed up
Gonna sit on you
Fat Mama Cassowary
Get me a sandwich!
Haiku # 63771, April 14, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Rural Guido
Writing poetry
Makes he have bowel movements
Then I get horny
Haiku # 63770, April 14, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Watch out
Slide down banisters
Read Darth Figpucker poems
Go straight to climax
Haiku # 63769, April 14, 2019 6:02 pm ET
by Satisfied
Sometimes I wonder
How do women masturbate?
They don't have a dick
Haiku # 63768, April 14, 2019 5:29 pm ET
by In dire need of A shower
At least it's not pork.
Jesus approves your diet.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63767, April 14, 2019 4:45 pm ET
by TTGFP
But they taste so gooood!
Cassowary casserole.
It's well worth the fight.
Haiku # 63766, April 14, 2019 4:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Put your pecker in
Something might happen to it
You'll get goo on stuff
Haiku # 63765, April 14, 2019 4:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Most dangerous bird
Be wary! Cassowary
Very,Very, Very scary
Haiku # 63764, April 14, 2019 2:44 pm ET
by Very Very Very Very of Tremendous
The next president
Not a buffoon with dementia
Not a big LOSER
Haiku # 63763, April 14, 2019 2:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Debora ding the plane
Pulled into Sacramento
Next up: shoplift bread

Gluten free Jesus
Next time you take excrement
Report on the smell
Haiku # 63762, April 14, 2019 2:37 pm ET
by Funny fella
When you next take bread
contemplate the sacrament.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63761, April 14, 2019 10:51 am ET
by TTGFP
I think U sayin
Something about lightning bolts
Anal greased lightning
Haiku # 63760, April 14, 2019 6:05 am ET
by Back end smote
Oral Roberts. Cream
Full facial oil of Olay
You look marvelous
Haiku # 63759, April 14, 2019 6:03 am ET
by Aesthetician
I am missing the
connection to Usain Bolt.
Best I do not know.

Ignorance is bliss.
Not in the Bible, but still,
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63758, April 14, 2019 5:09 am ET
by TTGFP of Holding my collection of Oral Roberts prayer cloths.
Before I give blood
I always say "I have AIDS"
But nobody laughs
Haiku # 63757, April 14, 2019 1:44 am ET
by On the verge of A nervous breakdown
Engraved on the cross
Property of Squeaky Fromme
Cross smells like tuna
Haiku # 63756, April 13, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by Vincent Bugliosi's pissed off of Apparition
Hi kisses his cross.
And then looks up to Heaven.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku # 63755, April 13, 2019 11:37 pm ET
by Usain Bolt is awesome. of But shooting a blank starts the race. Ironic, no?
Usain Bolt for sperm
Like a creamsickle with legs
You ain't shooting blanks
Haiku # 63754, April 13, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Long English or short Mexican
perm(46,2)\
=46!/((46-2)!2!)
= 2070
Haiku # 63753, April 13, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by So now you know
It's imperative
One understands that fucking
Sometimes makes babies
Haiku # 63752, April 13, 2019 11:13 pm ET
by Last of The Mohicans
Physical exam
Listen Mr. Figpucker
Your penis is HUGE
Haiku # 63751, April 13, 2019 11:10 pm ET
by Doc
Jesus knows THE Way.
As opposed to just "de way".
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63750, April 13, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by TTGFP of Dragging my, ahem, knuckles through the dirt.
And, no, you wise guys,
Jesus is not Ugandan.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63749, April 13, 2019 11:06 pm ET
by TTGFP
Ozzy knows nothing.
Only Jesus knows the way.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63748, April 13, 2019 11:03 pm ET
by TTGFP of TL Osborn's Museum of Evangelical Oddities
Lets go all the way
Enough fingering the clam
Shove it right in there
Haiku # 63747, April 13, 2019 10:59 pm ET
by Voice of Encouragement
Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind ?
(Better ask Ozzy)
Haiku # 63746, April 13, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by Black Haiku Sabbath of Fuzz Guitar
Haiku Janitor
So hard to clean up in here
Which poems are good?
Haiku # 63745, April 13, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by Haiku Janitor of End of my rope
Move over Fleshlight
Now, shaped like a carved pumpkin
The Jackoff Lantern
Haiku # 63744, April 13, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Headless Hung like a horse man of Nose
I get the feeling
Jim Morrison always said
SUCK ON MY DIIIIIIIII...CCCCCCK!!
Haiku # 63743, April 13, 2019 8:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Crystal Ship
Jesus, take the wheel
Drank too much of the water
You turned into wine
Haiku # 63742, April 13, 2019 5:08 pm ET
by Drunk of Passed out
A set of footprints
As I shuffle through the sand
Jesus got big feet!
Haiku # 63741, April 13, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by You know what that means
Are you there, God?
It's just me, Darth Figpucker
I have changed my ways
Haiku # 63740, April 13, 2019 4:48 pm ET
by Wayward Son of Carrying on
this is what df's obituary
will say:
Haiku # 63739, April 13, 2019 3:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ok I get it:
Twink Toe Glit Fairy Princess
TTGFP
Haiku # 63738, April 13, 2019 3:38 pm ET
by I thoght it was " Talk To God Fig Pucker"
Short is our time here.
Eternal is The Kingdom.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku # 63737, April 13, 2019 3:19 pm ET
by TTGFP of My time here is two weeks.
You can't handle truth.
Truth of Our Lord and Savior.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63736, April 13, 2019 3:05 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of Where have you been?
What would your wife think?
This giving the dog a bone
Sleep in the doghouse!
Haiku # 63735, April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET
by My word!
What would your wife think?
This
Haiku # 63734, April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET
by My word!
I was REAL horny
My wife was visiting friends
So I fucked our dog
Haiku # 63733, April 13, 2019 12:31 pm ET
by Carnival of Carnage
No no stop it Darth
Oh you are pure wickedness
Lord, slay him in wrath !
Haiku # 63732, April 13, 2019 11:27 am ET
by Actually you're merely infantile
The apostles watched
As God sucked off the Devil
Crying the whole time
Haiku # 63731, April 13, 2019 9:35 am ET
by One of Your wife's fucktoys
T - T - G - F - P
Five letters, five syllables.
What do they stand for?
Haiku # 63730, April 13, 2019 9:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Glory to the Lord!
The devil hates His shed blood
And atoning death.
Haiku # 63729, April 13, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Figpucker's Grandmother of Course
Jesus would never
partake in the devil's weed.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63728, April 13, 2019 8:42 am ET
by TTGFP
What if you re so high
Can t even hold your head up
What would Jesus do?
Haiku # 63727, April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET
by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
What if you
Haiku # 63726, April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET
by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >