BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
163 Days
and
64327 Haikus
later...
Are you there, God?
It's just me, Darth Figpucker
I have changed my ways
Haiku #63740, by Wayward Son of Carrying on
April 13, 2019 4:48 pm ET

this is what df's obituary
will say:
Haiku #63739, by Anonymous Poet
April 13, 2019 3:58 pm ET

Ok I get it:
Twink Toe Glit Fairy Princess
TTGFP
Haiku #63738, by I thoght it was " Talk To God Fig Pucker"
April 13, 2019 3:38 pm ET

Short is our time here.
Eternal is The Kingdom.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63737, by TTGFP of My time here is two weeks.
April 13, 2019 3:19 pm ET

You can't handle truth.
Truth of Our Lord and Savior.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63736, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of Where have you been?
April 13, 2019 3:05 pm ET

What would your wife think?
This giving the dog a bone
Sleep in the doghouse!
Haiku #63735, by My word!
April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET

What would your wife think?
This
Haiku #63734, by My word!
April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET

I was REAL horny
My wife was visiting friends
So I fucked our dog
Haiku #63733, by Carnival of Carnage
April 13, 2019 12:31 pm ET

No no stop it Darth
Oh you are pure wickedness
Lord, slay him in wrath !
Haiku #63732, by Actually you're merely infantile
April 13, 2019 11:27 am ET

The apostles watched
As God sucked off the Devil
Crying the whole time
Haiku #63731, by One of Your wife's fucktoys
April 13, 2019 9:35 am ET

T - T - G - F - P
Five letters, five syllables.
What do they stand for?
Haiku #63730, by Anonymous Poet
April 13, 2019 9:06 am ET

Glory to the Lord!
The devil hates His shed blood
And atoning death.
Haiku #63729, by Figpucker's Grandmother of Course
April 13, 2019 8:57 am ET

Jesus would never
partake in the devil's weed.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63728, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 8:42 am ET

What if you re so high
Can t even hold your head up
What would Jesus do?
Haiku #63727, by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET

What if you
Haiku #63726, by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET

These are not poems.
These are the Words of The Lord!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63725, by TTFFP
April 13, 2019 4:06 am ET

You know what it is,
The miracle of Jesus?
Praise be to Jesus!

Walking on water.
Fish, wine and bread, that's all fine.
Praise be to Jesus!

But those are not it!
He looked to strangers as friends.
Praise be to Jesus!

Only God does that.
And men fill with His spirit.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63724, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 4:04 am ET

When you have Jesus
you can walk with your head high.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63723, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 3:06 am ET

The Big Kahuna.
I do love a good burger.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63722, by Make mine Kosher. No cheese or bacon. of Hold the katsup and mayo.
April 13, 2019 3:04 am ET

Benny Mardones
Carpet Cleaning Services
I wouldn't trust him
Haiku #63721, by Primal scream of Into the night
April 13, 2019 2:08 am ET

Don't be do sure,bud
Might be conjoined headless twins
With a double cunt
Haiku #63720, by You the daddy
April 13, 2019 1:56 am ET

When she's on the pill
And one cums in her pussy
She won't get pregnant
Haiku #63719, by Master of The obvious
April 13, 2019 1:41 am ET

Gynecology
Looking at strangers pussies
Good for self esteem
Haiku #63718, by Delusions of Grandeur
April 13, 2019 1:11 am ET

I'm so tired of this
I'm writing the same poem
That I wrote last time
Haiku #63717, by Anonymous Poet
April 13, 2019 12:36 am ET

Funny things happen
When you don't pay attention
Bird shit on my head!
Haiku #63716, by Mindfulness
April 13, 2019 12:33 am ET

You got some nice legs
And you know I'm a leg man
Here, meet my third leg
Haiku #63715, by Triskellion Hellion
April 13, 2019 12:31 am ET

We all want to see
Jesus in a wife beater
Stella Stella!! Right?
Haiku #63714, by Put in a shirt of For Christ's sake
April 13, 2019 12:30 am ET

His one fantasy
She would walk across his back
In stiletto heels
Haiku #63713, by As seen through a keyhole
April 13, 2019 12:27 am ET

everything comes out
But maybe out the wrong end
And stains your good pants
Haiku #63712, by Beanie Baby
April 13, 2019 12:24 am ET

Cream whipped to a froth
Dispensed from the limp penis
Of Mister Fritzl
Haiku #63711, by Practically Perverted
April 12, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Preview of a poem
Jewel of a porcelain pond
Squadhedron in shape
Haiku #63710, by Run4yourlives
April 12, 2019 10:57 pm ET

The Big Kahuna
You keep zipped up in your pants
Well, it ain't so big
Haiku #63709, by ShrinkyDink of Sink
April 12, 2019 10:55 pm ET

Jesus still loves you.
No matter how you test Him.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63708, by TTGFP
April 12, 2019 8:13 pm ET

Whipped cream or semen
Which is a better topping
For my strawberries?
Haiku #63707, by Follower of Satan
April 12, 2019 7:59 pm ET

Loaves and fishes trick
Next, walking on water trick
Levitate table
Haiku #63706, by Dinner and a show of Wazzup Last Supper
April 12, 2019 7:13 pm ET

Let's grab a fig leaf
Cover your sexual junque
And stop rubbing it
Haiku #63705, by Grad of Egads!
April 12, 2019 7:10 pm ET

Do not waste your time
with that which is not of God.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63704, by TTGFP
April 12, 2019 7:01 pm ET

Art class nude model
"What a swell looking penis."
Still life kielbasa
Haiku #63703, by Hide the Salami
April 12, 2019 3:09 pm ET

Try New Oxy-Syllable
Removes filth from poetry
Tide Pods on steroids
Haiku #63702, by Jesus H Christmas
April 12, 2019 3:06 pm ET

Smelly arthritis
Just had another birthday
How would I do that?
Haiku #63701, by Like an old cat
April 12, 2019 12:37 pm ET

Today's your birthday
How I would jump on your desk
David Letterman
Haiku #63700, by Sag Tits
April 12, 2019 12:35 pm ET

Kitten cat kitten
Cat cat kitten cat kitten
Kitten cat kitten
Haiku #63699, by Kitten of Star
April 12, 2019 12:33 pm ET

Yo, Spermin' Melville
Just met you, this is crazy
So call me Ishmael
Haiku #63698, by Maybe Dick of Hump like a snow hill
April 12, 2019 12:31 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
If I were a prostitute
How much would I charge?
Haiku #63697, by Cause of Your depression
April 12, 2019 10:28 am ET

I'm in my forties
I've yet to fuck a shemale
But I still have time
Haiku #63696, by Subject of Your nightmare
April 12, 2019 9:20 am ET

Farts are not profane
You must have flunked science class
Farts contain methane
Haiku #63695, by Mike Roeb of At Work
April 12, 2019 9:01 am ET

Japanese House Tour
Traditional floor mats spooged
I removed my shoes
Haiku #63694, by Barefoot Bandit of Running the other way
April 12, 2019 8:58 am ET

Ever wonder why
My haiku's are so profane?
If not,suck my dick
Haiku #63693, by Sick of Your shit
April 12, 2019 8:55 am ET

My contribution
Are farts tax deductible?
We'll be millionaires
Haiku #63692, by Splat Methaney
April 12, 2019 8:53 am ET

Is that the foghorn?
Rise and shine. I'm on the case
Well now, who farted?
Haiku #63691, by Noticer of Details
April 12, 2019 8:37 am ET