Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Ok I get it:
Twink Toe Glit Fairy Princess
TTGFP
Haiku # 63738, April 13, 2019 3:38 pm ET
by I thoght it was " Talk To God Fig Pucker"
Short is our time here.
Eternal is The Kingdom.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku # 63737, April 13, 2019 3:19 pm ET
by TTGFP of My time here is two weeks.
You can't handle truth.
Truth of Our Lord and Savior.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63736, April 13, 2019 3:05 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of Where have you been?
What would your wife think?
This giving the dog a bone
Sleep in the doghouse!
Haiku # 63735, April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET
by My word!
What would your wife think?
This
Haiku # 63734, April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET
by My word!
I was REAL horny
My wife was visiting friends
So I fucked our dog
Haiku # 63733, April 13, 2019 12:31 pm ET
by Carnival of Carnage
No no stop it Darth
Oh you are pure wickedness
Lord, slay him in wrath !
Haiku # 63732, April 13, 2019 11:27 am ET
by Actually you're merely infantile
The apostles watched
As God sucked off the Devil
Crying the whole time
Haiku # 63731, April 13, 2019 9:35 am ET
by One of Your wife's fucktoys
T - T - G - F - P
Five letters, five syllables.
What do they stand for?
Haiku # 63730, April 13, 2019 9:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Glory to the Lord!
The devil hates His shed blood
And atoning death.
Haiku # 63729, April 13, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Figpucker's Grandmother of Course
Jesus would never
partake in the devil's weed.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63728, April 13, 2019 8:42 am ET
by TTGFP
What if you re so high
Can t even hold your head up
What would Jesus do?
Haiku # 63727, April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET
by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
What if you
Haiku # 63726, April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET
by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
These are not poems.
These are the Words of The Lord!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63725, April 13, 2019 4:06 am ET
by TTFFP
You know what it is,
The miracle of Jesus?
Praise be to Jesus!

Walking on water.
Fish, wine and bread, that's all fine.
Praise be to Jesus!

But those are not it!
He looked to strangers as friends.
Praise be to Jesus!

Only God does that.
And men fill with His spirit.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63724, April 13, 2019 4:04 am ET
by TTGFP
When you have Jesus
you can walk with your head high.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63723, April 13, 2019 3:06 am ET
by TTGFP
The Big Kahuna.
I do love a good burger.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63722, April 13, 2019 3:04 am ET
by Make mine Kosher. No cheese or bacon. of Hold the katsup and mayo.
Benny Mardones
Carpet Cleaning Services
I wouldn't trust him
Haiku # 63721, April 13, 2019 2:08 am ET
by Primal scream of Into the night
Don't be do sure,bud
Might be conjoined headless twins
With a double cunt
Haiku # 63720, April 13, 2019 1:56 am ET
by You the daddy
When she's on the pill
And one cums in her pussy
She won't get pregnant
Haiku # 63719, April 13, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Master of The obvious
Gynecology
Looking at strangers pussies
Good for self esteem
Haiku # 63718, April 13, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Delusions of Grandeur
I'm so tired of this
I'm writing the same poem
That I wrote last time
Haiku # 63717, April 13, 2019 12:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Funny things happen
When you don't pay attention
Bird shit on my head!
Haiku # 63716, April 13, 2019 12:33 am ET
by Mindfulness
You got some nice legs
And you know I'm a leg man
Here, meet my third leg
Haiku # 63715, April 13, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Triskellion Hellion
We all want to see
Jesus in a wife beater
Stella Stella!! Right?
Haiku # 63714, April 13, 2019 12:30 am ET
by Put in a shirt of For Christ's sake
His one fantasy
She would walk across his back
In stiletto heels
Haiku # 63713, April 13, 2019 12:27 am ET
by As seen through a keyhole
everything comes out
But maybe out the wrong end
And stains your good pants
Haiku # 63712, April 13, 2019 12:24 am ET
by Beanie Baby
Cream whipped to a froth
Dispensed from the limp penis
Of Mister Fritzl
Haiku # 63711, April 12, 2019 10:59 pm ET
by Practically Perverted
The Big Kahuna
You keep zipped up in your pants
Well, it ain't so big
Haiku # 63709, April 12, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by ShrinkyDink of Sink
Jesus still loves you.
No matter how you test Him.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63708, April 12, 2019 8:13 pm ET
by TTGFP
Whipped cream or semen
Which is a better topping
For my strawberries?
Haiku # 63707, April 12, 2019 7:59 pm ET
by Follower of Satan
Loaves and fishes trick
Next, walking on water trick
Levitate table
Haiku # 63706, April 12, 2019 7:13 pm ET
by Dinner and a show of Wazzup Last Supper
Let's grab a fig leaf
Cover your sexual junque
And stop rubbing it
Haiku # 63705, April 12, 2019 7:10 pm ET
by Grad of Egads!
Do not waste your time
with that which is not of God.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63704, April 12, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by TTGFP
Art class nude model
"What a swell looking penis."
Still life kielbasa
Haiku # 63703, April 12, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Hide the Salami
Try New Oxy-Syllable
Removes filth from poetry
Tide Pods on steroids
Haiku # 63702, April 12, 2019 3:06 pm ET
by Jesus H Christmas
Smelly arthritis
Just had another birthday
How would I do that?
Haiku # 63701, April 12, 2019 12:37 pm ET
by Like an old cat
Today's your birthday
How I would jump on your desk
David Letterman
Haiku # 63700, April 12, 2019 12:35 pm ET
by Sag Tits
Kitten cat kitten
Cat cat kitten cat kitten
Kitten cat kitten
Haiku # 63699, April 12, 2019 12:33 pm ET
by Kitten of Star
Yo, Spermin' Melville
Just met you, this is crazy
So call me Ishmael
Haiku # 63698, April 12, 2019 12:31 pm ET
by Maybe Dick of Hump like a snow hill
Sometimes I wonder
If I were a prostitute
How much would I charge?
Haiku # 63697, April 12, 2019 10:28 am ET
by Cause of Your depression
I'm in my forties
I've yet to fuck a shemale
But I still have time
Haiku # 63696, April 12, 2019 9:20 am ET
by Subject of Your nightmare
Farts are not profane
You must have flunked science class
Farts contain methane
Haiku # 63695, April 12, 2019 9:01 am ET
by Mike Roeb of At Work
Japanese House Tour
Traditional floor mats spooged
I removed my shoes
Haiku # 63694, April 12, 2019 8:58 am ET
by Barefoot Bandit of Running the other way
Ever wonder why
My haiku's are so profane?
If not,suck my dick
Haiku # 63693, April 12, 2019 8:55 am ET
by Sick of Your shit
My contribution
Are farts tax deductible?
We'll be millionaires
Haiku # 63692, April 12, 2019 8:53 am ET
by Splat Methaney
Is that the foghorn?
Rise and shine. I'm on the case
Well now, who farted?
Haiku # 63691, April 12, 2019 8:37 am ET
by Noticer of Details
When I bend over
Look closely at my black hole
Now take a picture
Haiku # 63690, April 12, 2019 4:08 am ET
by Science is amazing
His sandals were dope
Flowing hair impressed the babes
Fonz of Nazareth
Haiku # 63689, April 12, 2019 2:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Seven eleven
Or was it the six six six
He liked to shoplift
Haiku # 63688, April 12, 2019 2:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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