Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Don't believe Satan.
If you do, you'll burn in Hell!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63656, April 11, 2019 8:10 pm ET
by TTGFP
We are all equal
in the eyes of our Maker.
Praise be to Jesus!

Regardless of your
favorite ice cream flavor.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63655, April 11, 2019 7:41 pm ET
by TTGFP
By loving Jesus
you can better love mankind.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63654, April 11, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by TTGFP
Do not worship cats.
Though they saved man from the plague.
Praise be to Jesus!

You should thank the Lord.
God told cats to eat the rats.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63653, April 11, 2019 7:32 pm ET
by TTGFP
cats cats kittens cats
Kittens kittens kittens cats
Cats cats kittens cats
Haiku # 63652, April 11, 2019 7:15 pm ET
by Starkitten of Whisker City
What you're made of
Mostly water and dead skin
No wonder life's hard
Haiku # 63651, April 11, 2019 7:10 pm ET
by Who remastered scientist of Whoremaster Asteroid
Oops, forgot to sign.
Forgetting is not a sin.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63650, April 11, 2019 6:45 pm ET
by TTGFP
Cleansed of my anger
and filth that poisoned my mind.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63649, April 11, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'd never do that!
Lev. eighteen twenty-two.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63648, April 11, 2019 6:40 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
Giving up coffee.
With Jesus you can quit drugs.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63647, April 11, 2019 6:36 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
Oh, glorious day.
I greet it with open arms.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63646, April 11, 2019 6:33 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
I could be in porn
If I don't mind getting AIDS
Mostly on weekends
Haiku # 63644, April 11, 2019 3:50 pm ET
by Scared of My own shadow
Look into my eyes
Are you scared of The Devil
Look into my eyes
Haiku # 63643, April 11, 2019 3:08 pm ET
by Benny Mardones of Perverted Flying Carpet
This site should not be
So very very boring.
What happened to it?
Haiku # 63642, April 11, 2019 2:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rustle up some grub
Smell what The Rock is cooking
Burned the Last Supper
Haiku # 63641, April 11, 2019 2:52 pm ET
by Churchgoer of Pizza Spaghetti Monster Cathedral
Sarcasm will not
Save or impress anyone
I so pity you
Haiku # 63640, April 11, 2019 2:47 pm ET
by Ghost of Christmas
At the very least
Order the guy a pizza
Praise be to Jesus
Haiku # 63639, April 11, 2019 2:40 pm ET
by Lord Have Mercy of Domino
Ocean tides cycle.
But The Rock remains steady.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63638, April 11, 2019 1:45 pm ET
by TTGF
Raise your hands up high.
Feel the spirit of the Lord.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63637, April 11, 2019 1:42 pm ET
by TTGF
Jesus on the cross
contemplates their carpentry.
Praise be to Jesus.

The inferior
skills of the Roman soldiers.
Praise be to Jesus.

They nailed down his hands.
But his soul was free to soar.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63636, April 11, 2019 1:37 pm ET
by TTGF
Shitting in the dark
Then everyone yells, "SURPRISE!"
Living room commode
Haiku # 63635, April 11, 2019 1:34 pm ET
by Dartha Stewart of OCD
Leave it in the bowl
Just might brighten someone's day
Share your brown output
Haiku # 63634, April 11, 2019 1:28 pm ET
by Post Partum of fartum
Rock groups are sinners.
Pray for their dark wicked souls.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63633, April 11, 2019 1:26 pm ET
by TTGF
My sins forgiven!
Washed clean by the blood of Christ.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63632, April 11, 2019 1:23 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy
Hallelujah Lord!
I feel the light in my soul!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63631, April 11, 2019 1:20 pm ET
by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy
Amen. Praise Jesus.
Prophet, Priest and King. Our judge.
React in vain, earth.
Haiku # 63630, April 11, 2019 8:23 am ET
by Twinkletoes Glitter of Hovering over Darth's R. shoulder
I gave ten dollars
to a homeless street beggar.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63629, April 11, 2019 7:55 am ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy.
LA LA LA LA LA.
Hear, see, and speak no evil.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63628, April 11, 2019 7:54 am ET
by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of Reelection Campaign Headquarters for the Illustrious President Trump
"Where is your Bible?"
I always have it with me.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63627, April 11, 2019 7:52 am ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy
Just saw vhs
Crawl across the trunk of car
In a chic pink dress
Haiku # 63626, April 11, 2019 3:43 am ET
by CumbStaines of Cleaners
Zap ruder footage
Hot cream pie trajectory
Pow in the kisser
Haiku # 63625, April 11, 2019 3:39 am ET
by Wank Zappage of All over the place
good
Haiku # 63624, April 11, 2019 2:49 am ET
by James of newyork
Go ahead, try it
Wank with non dominant hand
See how it cums out
Haiku # 63623, April 11, 2019 2:27 am ET
by Rural Guido of Oooorah J Klloofs
Total juzzwuzard
The diarrhea shithouse
Wadsworth Darthfellow
Haiku # 63622, April 11, 2019 2:23 am ET
by Rural Guido
My cum ricocheted
Off the wall,through the kitchen,
then into my face
Haiku # 63621, April 11, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Reflection of You
Give me a reason
Heavenly Shenanigans
We don
Haiku # 63620, April 11, 2019 2:06 am ET
by Poetry byproduct
Old Darth Figpucker
Stars as Ebenezer Scrooge
Ghosts give up, walk off
Haiku # 63619, April 11, 2019 1:51 am ET
by Charles Dickens
Look into my eyes
I am seventeen feet tall
With a three inch dink
Haiku # 63618, April 11, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Poetry Robot of Junkyard
They say Uranus
Smells like rotten eggs. True facts.
Praise be to Jesus
Haiku # 63617, April 11, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Hillbilly Pastor of dirty overalls of Church of Grime
An end to Satan.
The rapture will come one day.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63616, April 10, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by TTGF
Children are blessings.
Each child is our future.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63615, April 10, 2019 10:57 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Ronald McDonald House
Spring time is joyous!
Grilled hamburgers and hotdogs.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63614, April 10, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of The hotdogs are Kosher for my 7th day Adventist friends.
Life's an adventure.
I once rode an elephant.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63613, April 10, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Noah's Ark of Creation Museum, Cincinatti
Ice cream and puppies.
Disney films are works of art.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku # 63612, April 10, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Oral Roberts' Prayer Tower
Happiness and peace.
May your life be filled with smiles.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63611, April 10, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Couples for Christ Headquarters
My spooge permeates
your pores and orifices,
impregnates your brain.

Now your write of poo.
There is nothing else to do.
Just go with the flow.

Your friends might like it.
But I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll stay gone two weeks.

Bring them on over.
Write enlightening poems.
And be a hippie.

If there is no poo
when I reinspect this site.
I will disappear.
Haiku # 63610, April 10, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by df
Can't bring friends over...
Darth always pops up, dripping
with body fluids
Haiku # 63609, April 10, 2019 10:17 pm ET
by Wipe the Darth off me then Dispose of Properly
Coffee kicking in.
Approaching normality.
Dusts off rusty brain.

Time to be a whore.
One plus one is fucking two.
That'll be ten bucks.
Haiku # 63608, April 10, 2019 9:45 pm ET
by df
On that note,
I once saw a soft comedy porn spoof on Arnold where a guy would steal women's underwear and jack off looking at himself in a mirror. At the end when he blows his load, he had the craziest look on his face and says "I did it!"
I saw that back in high school and my and my friends would often say that... "I did it!" ... Ah, good laughs.
Wish I could have seen Floyd complete before they broke up, but I was a bit young then. Life.
Haiku # 63607, April 10, 2019 9:42 pm ET
by df
Ah, there's a big cock.
*gets on knees and fondles balls.
Tickles the tonsils.
Haiku # 63606, April 10, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Plucks one pube for a souvenir
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