Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

I gave ten dollars
to a homeless street beggar.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63629, April 11, 2019 7:55 am ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy.
LA LA LA LA LA.
Hear, see, and speak no evil.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63628, April 11, 2019 7:54 am ET
by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of Reelection Campaign Headquarters for the Illustrious President Trump
"Where is your Bible?"
I always have it with me.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63627, April 11, 2019 7:52 am ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy
Just saw vhs
Crawl across the trunk of car
In a chic pink dress
Haiku # 63626, April 11, 2019 3:43 am ET
by CumbStaines of Cleaners
Zap ruder footage
Hot cream pie trajectory
Pow in the kisser
Haiku # 63625, April 11, 2019 3:39 am ET
by Wank Zappage of All over the place
good
Haiku # 63624, April 11, 2019 2:49 am ET
by James of newyork
Go ahead, try it
Wank with non dominant hand
See how it cums out
Haiku # 63623, April 11, 2019 2:27 am ET
by Rural Guido of Oooorah J Klloofs
Total juzzwuzard
The diarrhea shithouse
Wadsworth Darthfellow
Haiku # 63622, April 11, 2019 2:23 am ET
by Rural Guido
My cum ricocheted
Off the wall,through the kitchen,
then into my face
Haiku # 63621, April 11, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Reflection of You
Give me a reason
Heavenly Shenanigans
We don
Haiku # 63620, April 11, 2019 2:06 am ET
by Poetry byproduct
Old Darth Figpucker
Stars as Ebenezer Scrooge
Ghosts give up, walk off
Haiku # 63619, April 11, 2019 1:51 am ET
by Charles Dickens
Look into my eyes
I am seventeen feet tall
With a three inch dink
Haiku # 63618, April 11, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Poetry Robot of Junkyard
They say Uranus
Smells like rotten eggs. True facts.
Praise be to Jesus
Haiku # 63617, April 11, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Hillbilly Pastor of dirty overalls of Church of Grime
An end to Satan.
The rapture will come one day.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63616, April 10, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by TTGF
Children are blessings.
Each child is our future.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63615, April 10, 2019 10:57 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Ronald McDonald House
Spring time is joyous!
Grilled hamburgers and hotdogs.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63614, April 10, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of The hotdogs are Kosher for my 7th day Adventist friends.
Life's an adventure.
I once rode an elephant.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63613, April 10, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Noah's Ark of Creation Museum, Cincinatti
Ice cream and puppies.
Disney films are works of art.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku # 63612, April 10, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Oral Roberts' Prayer Tower
Happiness and peace.
May your life be filled with smiles.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63611, April 10, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Couples for Christ Headquarters
My spooge permeates
your pores and orifices,
impregnates your brain.

Now your write of poo.
There is nothing else to do.
Just go with the flow.

Your friends might like it.
But I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll stay gone two weeks.

Bring them on over.
Write enlightening poems.
And be a hippie.

If there is no poo
when I reinspect this site.
I will disappear.
Haiku # 63610, April 10, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by df
Can't bring friends over...
Darth always pops up, dripping
with body fluids
Haiku # 63609, April 10, 2019 10:17 pm ET
by Wipe the Darth off me then Dispose of Properly
Coffee kicking in.
Approaching normality.
Dusts off rusty brain.

Time to be a whore.
One plus one is fucking two.
That'll be ten bucks.
Haiku # 63608, April 10, 2019 9:45 pm ET
by df
On that note,
I once saw a soft comedy porn spoof on Arnold where a guy would steal women's underwear and jack off looking at himself in a mirror. At the end when he blows his load, he had the craziest look on his face and says "I did it!"
I saw that back in high school and my and my friends would often say that... "I did it!" ... Ah, good laughs.
Wish I could have seen Floyd complete before they broke up, but I was a bit young then. Life.
Haiku # 63607, April 10, 2019 9:42 pm ET
by df
Ah, there's a big cock.
*gets on knees and fondles balls.
Tickles the tonsils.
Haiku # 63606, April 10, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Plucks one pube for a souvenir
You insult me, Darth.
I know of your "strange hobby"
because old Floyd rocks.
Haiku # 63605, April 10, 2019 9:30 pm ET
by Distorted view of See through baby blue
I scanned my asshole.
Printed it on photo stock.
Jacked off onto it.

Folded it neatly.
Mailed it to Donald Trump.
Hope he enjoys it.
Haiku # 63604, April 10, 2019 9:13 pm ET
by df
Would you like to try?
I've got some cum left for you.
Don't try to resist.
Haiku # 63603, April 10, 2019 9:09 pm ET
by Deliverance banjo theme plays in background.
There are no other
dicks around here wroth sucking.
*wipes off chin with grin.
Haiku # 63602, April 10, 2019 9:06 pm ET
by df of Nantucket
Call me Arnold Layne.
You wouldn't understand that.
Not without Google.
Haiku # 63601, April 10, 2019 9:03 pm ET
by df
He came in his mouth
But that didn't make him gay
Sucking his dick did
Haiku # 63600, April 10, 2019 8:38 pm ET
by Evidence of Foul play
Verdant spring flowers,
fertilized by Darth's feces.
Smell like rotten cum.
Haiku # 63599, April 10, 2019 8:34 pm ET
by My name is Darth Figpucker of and I approve this message.
Well, I guess there's farts.
But farts area kind of like poop.
Butt-related stuff.
Haiku # 63598, April 10, 2019 8:32 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
Bleeding brain, mosquitoes,
poop, jacking off, Asian porn,
drugs and blasphemy.
Haiku # 63597, April 10, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by What else is there?!
Hi, my name is Darth
and I am a Pig Fucker.
Been two weeks without.
Haiku # 63596, April 10, 2019 8:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Pig Fuckers Anonymous Meeting, Nashville Chapter
Oh verdant spring life
ye gentle flowers and rills
where's my freaking phone?
Haiku # 63595, April 10, 2019 4:24 pm ET
by Phoney Baloney of Macaroni
I came in my mouth
But it didn't taste like mine
It tasted like yours
Haiku # 63594, April 10, 2019 12:50 pm ET
by Archbishop of Canterbury
Wouldn't it be nice
By visiting this website
Be cured of sickness
Haiku # 63593, April 10, 2019 9:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Look at me right now.
Right now in my eyes. Good. Breathe...
Listen to my thoughts!
Haiku # 63592, April 10, 2019 8:49 am ET
by Your friendly local satanic psychopath with a black hood on
some psychedelic furs right there
if you recognise me, look my way
now
Haiku # 63591, April 10, 2019 8:37 am ET
by vhs
Lets gang up on Darth
boycott poop and jerk-off verse
(but it's all he knows!)
Haiku # 63590, April 10, 2019 8:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
DON'T YOU





FORGET ABOUT ME
DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T
Haiku # 63589, April 10, 2019 1:28 am ET
by John Bender of my dad gave me cigarettes for my birthday
This world is hard-cruel
Don't expect to get a chance.
No disappointment.
Haiku # 63588, April 10, 2019 1:12 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
I will keep my sins.
Thank you very fucking much.
My ticket to hell.
Haiku # 63587, April 9, 2019 11:37 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Goddamn I hate selecting crosswalks.
This website is weird
Kinda like the Breakfast Club
But we re all poets
Haiku # 63586, April 9, 2019 11:00 pm ET
by Starkitten of Dandruff Snowstorm
O, moist holy slit
Pardon Figpucker his sins
Cleanse him with tuna
Haiku # 63585, April 9, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by Demon of Steeple
Growing a moustache
Wish it would grow all over
In stripes, like a cat
Haiku # 63584, April 9, 2019 9:26 pm ET
by Wanda B.
Goddamnitall.
I want / need coffee.
Is it want or is it need?
Only the Holy Cunt of Zargoth know that!
Go ask it!
Haiku # 63583, April 9, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by
I looked in your eyes
I saw your disappointment
And then I punched you
Haiku # 63582, April 9, 2019 9:23 pm ET
by Pow of Kisser
Be more tolerant!
I can't help that my brain has
a menstrual cycle.

Think I should use pads?
Big question, wing or no wings?
Red Bull cunt rocket.

The Minstrel Menstrual Motor Cycle In The Gallery.
He once owned a Harley Davidson, and a Triumph Bonneville.
Counted his friend in, used up tampons.
Prays that he always will.
Haiku # 63581, April 9, 2019 9:20 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Feeling Tully today.
They won t stop talking
I told the psychiatrist
Who won t?
My farts, silly!
Haiku # 63580, April 9, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by Beanie of Toilet bowl
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