Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

You make a moot point.
Each one of my farts are loud.
In stench and volume.
Haiku # 62840, March 9, 2019 10:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
You mean actual
cannibal Shia LaBoef.
You chopped off his head.
Haiku # 62839, March 9, 2019 10:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
You'll recognize me
I look just like you would look
If you looked like me
Haiku # 62838, March 9, 2019 9:04 pm ET
by Familiar face of Familiar place
You'll recognize me
I look just you would look
If you looked like me
Haiku # 62837, March 9, 2019 9:03 pm ET
by Familiar face of Familiar place
Swami can t sit down
Biggest boner of his life
And you brought it on
Haiku # 62836, March 9, 2019 4:03 pm ET
by Incense Burner
Swami can
Haiku # 62835, March 9, 2019 4:02 pm ET
by Incense Burner
Special of the day
Shia LaBoef Stroking off
Enjoy a hot lunch
Haiku # 62834, March 9, 2019 4:01 pm ET
by Holly Wood
Now, Ladies and Germs
May I draw your attention
to the center ring
8 Manly Midgets
Make mini marshmallows
Around the campfire
Circus Strongman, Mike
Donated back end chocolate
Try one, You ll want s'more
Haiku # 62833, March 9, 2019 12:11 pm ET
by Big Top
Nihilist Haiku
only Haiku worth reading:
The Anti-Haiku
Haiku # 62832, March 9, 2019 8:51 am ET
by Submit to Haiku to be liberated by Haiku
Those Hindu idols
full of transcendental shit.
Eat my yoga-mat.
Haiku # 62831, March 9, 2019 8:47 am ET
by Swami Prabhapanandamahajaipuramapajama of Hoping for IT contract in Silicone Valley
Those Hindu idols
Imagine what they can do:
six-arms and 10 heads.
Haiku # 62830, March 9, 2019 7:59 am ET
by Throw that Puja in the Ganges
Presbyterian:
Dead babies and billionaires
(Alice Cooper song)
Haiku # 62829, March 9, 2019 7:55 am ET
by Vincent Furnier of Boa around My Neck (not feather)
Late winter snowfall
Lone bird chirps. Frost-covered branch
PPRPPTFF. Darth farts, loudly.
Haiku # 62828, March 9, 2019 7:49 am ET
by Basho's Mother
How 'bout those Hindus.
Some right silly deities.
But they've got big tits.
Haiku # 62827, March 9, 2019 1:48 am ET
by df
Have you sinned today?
Remember, if you don't sin,
Jesus died in vain.
Haiku # 62826, March 9, 2019 1:45 am ET
by df
Let's go on Maury.
Darth, yes you are the father!
Cough up child support.
Haiku # 62825, March 9, 2019 1:42 am ET
by df
You were really drunk.
I don't think you'd remember.
But pics are online.
Haiku # 62824, March 9, 2019 1:39 am ET
by df
Could not be pregnant
Unless you can get that way
Thinking dirty thoughts
Haiku # 62823, March 9, 2019 12:03 am ET
by Pickle Cravings
Fools gold down his pants
Mine shaft caved in round the back
Eight midgets feared dead
Haiku # 62822, March 9, 2019 12:01 am ET
by The horror!!
Would you ask Jesus
where he got his nails done?
Get it - his nails!
Haiku # 62821, March 8, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by Please don't be cross with me.
Which animal's shit
stinks worse than all the others.
Fill your car with it.

You smell like haiku!
Subtly offensive, yet...
No, it's not subtle.

The shit of dingos
that ate genocide babies
at blood-diamond graves.

That's what you smell like.
You dead stupid billionaire.
Praise the golden cock!

Worship erections.
Boner pokes through your coffin.
Gold diggers' respect.
Haiku # 62820, March 8, 2019 11:20 pm ET
by Boners, dead babies, and farts. Yippee! of Oh, and dead billionaires too! Hooray!
You must be pregnant.
What should we name our baby?
Figpucker Junior?
Haiku # 62819, March 8, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by df
Why do I crave ham?
I want kosher dill pickles
I could drink the brine
Haiku # 62818, March 8, 2019 11:04 pm ET
by I must be crazy
blizzard shoots snow spears
white blanket eight feet deep covers
stirring snowdrops bulbs sprout
Haiku # 62817, March 8, 2019 11:01 pm ET
by Christos Victor of now
We can t get married
Until I introduce you
To my big chin hair
Haiku # 62816, March 8, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by Let s do this right
We can
Haiku # 62815, March 8, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Lets do this right
When was the last time
You really had a good day
Do you remember?
Haiku # 62814, March 8, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Cliff Flinger
Darkened corridor
Sign says HAPPY BIRTHDAY Darth
Is this the psych ward?
Haiku # 62813, March 8, 2019 10:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Plans for the weekend
Nail trimming, pimple popping
Nervous pacing, more sighing
Haiku # 62812, March 8, 2019 10:34 pm ET
by Busy
Trespassers footsteps
I set up a booby trap
Caught him in my bra
Haiku # 62811, March 8, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Jugs Malone
Trespassers footsteps
I
Haiku # 62810, March 8, 2019 9:58 pm ET
by Jugs Malone
Hey we aint babies
We live here under her skirts
Circus fat lady
Haiku # 62809, March 8, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Big Time of Big Top
Delivery room
Hairy midget octuplets
All born fully clothed

Haiku # 62808, March 8, 2019 9:53 pm ET
by Big Time of Big Top
Delivery room
Hairy midget octuplets
All born fully clothed

Haiku # 62807, March 8, 2019 9:52 pm ET
by Big Time of Big Top
Drinks are on the house
All you can eat surf and turf
Try our homemade pies
Haiku # 62806, March 8, 2019 9:46 pm ET
by Out of business
First it was Fleshlght
You doink hairy coconut?
Cue Merv Griffin song
Haiku # 62805, March 8, 2019 8:52 pm ET
by Starkitten
Just one more update:
straight to hell with Globalism.

(what is "Globalism"?)
Haiku # 62804, March 8, 2019 8:05 pm ET
by Idiots Watching MSM of Newspeak Over Your Daddy's Grave
When I said "I do"
I got tropical pussy
until it gets old.
Haiku # 62803, March 8, 2019 7:23 pm ET
by Nut Brown Maiden of My Dreams
Shut your cat-pussy.
Don't even bother. Just STOP.
Library of lies.
Haiku # 62802, March 8, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by I am worse than "MOXIE" of Old Archived Poems
Meanwhile Wong Lofan
Must be watching Hannity
and dreaming of past.
Haiku # 62801, March 8, 2019 7:16 pm ET
by Grave of online futility
I will write and write.
More poetic farts released.
Now it smells like Darth.
Haiku # 62800, March 8, 2019 7:12 pm ET
by Darth Fig-Kitten of NW Fart Library of Stars
Ok sorry I
am just a humble haiku
in your bright toilet
Haiku # 62799, March 8, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by Darth and Starkitten of bring out the worst in me
Jap Haiku suck-wad.
Eat my syllabic content.
Your mother's foul spawn.
Haiku # 62798, March 8, 2019 7:06 pm ET
by Conservative of The New Counter-Culture with guns
Girls in the Boy Scouts?
Only if they get naked!
That would be okay.
Haiku # 62797, March 8, 2019 7:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku shut fuck-face
You vile piece of stinking verse...
May your dead soul burn.
Haiku # 62796, March 8, 2019 7:03 pm ET
by That goes for all of you of KISS MY ASSURANCE OF FAITH ALL CAPS
The holy union
Of the Lamb and His pure bride.
Now suck on it, fool.
Haiku # 62795, March 8, 2019 7:00 pm ET
by Jesus will judge your sorry ass of I'm supposed to LOVE you...
Orange judge your ass.
Shut up you filthy mouth-hole
Trump plus Jesus. YES !
Haiku # 62794, March 8, 2019 6:34 pm ET
by Whine about Cheeto-man but you still suck of Day Late Dollar Short
When you say I DO
The mousetrap slams down on it
Now smile and say cheese
Haiku # 62793, March 8, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by I don't
Don't get married
Dudes! do not! it is a trap!
You will be sorry!
Haiku # 62792, March 8, 2019 5:01 pm ET
by Walt Tripp of Black Duck Mn.
Masturbation Scouts
Everybody earns a badge
Goal: Spread eagle scout
Haiku # 62791, March 8, 2019 4:55 pm ET
by Cat Raver of End of banana
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