Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

This poem is short.
Indeed just like my penis.
I think I will cry.
Haiku # 62782, March 8, 2019 2:12 pm ET
by df
is it Mike Stivic?
Or Porch poet Shaggy do
He ate my toppings!
Haiku # 62781, March 8, 2019 12:10 pm ET
by Lovebeads of 17 foot tall hippie robot
Ordered hot Gumbo
A miscommunication (Dumbo flies tonight)
Unexpected bliss
All midget male choir
Elephants never forget
Trunk suction blowjob
Haiku # 62780, March 8, 2019 12:07 pm ET
by See my dust of Sawdust
Mathematician
of body fluids and shit;
Receive now your crown.
Haiku # 62779, March 8, 2019 8:42 am ET
by Parabolic Augmentation of Filth
I guess it's not rape
if it is consensual.
Damn pachyderm whores.
Haiku # 62778, March 8, 2019 8:04 am ET
by Consensual is sensual. of Rape is for apes
How do you get a
poet off your porch? You pay
him for the pizza!
Haiku # 62777, March 8, 2019 8:01 am ET
by old one of but true
Raping elephants.
They tighten their proboscis.
I give them peanuts.
Haiku # 62776, March 8, 2019 7:59 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of San Diego Zoo
One plus one is two.
Now that might be permanent.
But not sure it's true.
Haiku # 62775, March 8, 2019 7:57 am ET
by The Count of Seseme Street
Nothing's permanent.
Not even God in Heaven.
Though He says He is.
Haiku # 62774, March 8, 2019 7:55 am ET
by God lies. of But what do you expect.
Let's not forget snot.
Natural KY Jelly.
Now I'll rape your nose.
Haiku # 62773, March 8, 2019 7:51 am ET
by df of squish squish squish... HA-CHOOO!
Ha ha: poop and piss.
Reproductive organs. Wow.
Bestial best of Darth. . .
Haiku # 62772, March 8, 2019 7:38 am ET
by Permanent Bathroom Humor of Figpucker (yawn)
That's not my pizza.
That's a barbecued lemur.
And it's way too small.
Haiku # 62771, March 8, 2019 5:20 am ET
by Goddamn pigmy hunters turned deliveryman.
I think I would say
My delivery is here
Sooner than I thought
Haiku # 62770, March 8, 2019 4:05 am ET
by 17 foot tall robot enthusiast of I'm not a robot but my robot sure is
What if I told you
There's a seventeen foot tall
Robot at your door?
Haiku # 62769, March 8, 2019 3:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Glass of orange juice
Tuna sandwich on whole wheat
Fritos corn chips, please
Haiku # 62768, March 8, 2019 3:17 am ET
by The perfect meal
Men in the white coats:
"Another crazy poet"
"Lobotomy, stat."
Haiku # 62767, March 8, 2019 3:15 am ET
by Ann S. Thetized
Foot long frankfurters
Nestled in your fresh, warm buns
What's not to relish?
Haiku # 62766, March 8, 2019 2:51 am ET
by Concession Confessions of Midway
Hot dog ministry
Where is your church located?
Down inside my pants
Haiku # 62765, March 8, 2019 2:45 am ET
by Minister (coincidentally he was a midget)
Is the mirror cracked?
No, that's not your reflection
You gaze at my butt
Haiku # 62764, March 8, 2019 2:39 am ET
by Brown lipstick
Once upon a time
Two ugly people had sex
That's where I came from
Haiku # 62763, March 8, 2019 2:33 am ET
by Came from Cum
Word to your mother
Whatever the heck that means
Just want to say it
Haiku # 62762, March 8, 2019 2:26 am ET
by Craziest Poet ever
Hanker for salmon?
Just turn your trout inside out
No, not your trousers
Haiku # 62761, March 8, 2019 2:24 am ET
by Greased up gonads of I need a big hug from god
Going out of style
Crazy beards and flowing robes
Biblical boho
Haiku # 62760, March 8, 2019 2:20 am ET
by Bogus Vogue
Nothing could stop them
Natural born performers
The show must go on

Herds of elephants
Defecating in sawdust
Fat ladies, gorging

Circus life is rough
Get shot out of a cannon
Hob gobbling dwarf knob
Haiku # 62759, March 8, 2019 2:18 am ET
by Ex circus performer
Oh, those Gokden Grahams
Son of a biscuit, you guessed it
Oompa Loompa Sauce
Haiku # 62758, March 8, 2019 2:10 am ET
by Willy Wanka
*Holds out the grahams
while eagerly awaiting
sweet soggy biscuits.
Haiku # 62757, March 8, 2019 1:09 am ET
by df of If midget spooge is marshmallow, I hate to think what's the chocolate.
S'more til you're sore
Manly midgets
masturbate
Making marshmallows
Haiku # 62756, March 8, 2019 12:58 am ET
by God
No cholesterol
Greasy butt margarine paste
Made from cat anus
Haiku # 62755, March 7, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Stinks like tuna
Vertical Viewing
Vacant vented vagina
Velvety Venus
Haiku # 62754, March 7, 2019 11:45 pm ET
by Venus need penus
This really strange fad,
Japanese bagel-head kids.
What's THAT all about?!
Haiku # 62753, March 7, 2019 11:43 pm ET
by almost makes me not want to eat bagels again.... almost. of In search of Salmon in a 3rd world shitehole. Unlikely.
Very Horny Skunk.
Vaginal Hoarfrost Syndrome.
Vapid Hung Scrotum.

Vacuous Hot Slime.
Vain Horrific Syllables.
Vipers Having Sex.

Veins Hating Steroids.
Vacuuming Happy Servant.
Vulvae Humping Shafts.
Haiku # 62752, March 7, 2019 11:30 pm ET
by
The trunk of the car
In amongst the groceries
Lord, Richard Simmons!
Haiku # 62751, March 7, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by Oldie of Sweating
Living your best life
Living large, dressed to the nines
Epic shoplifting
Haiku # 62750, March 7, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by Frugalista of Out the door
The call is for you
Some Hollywood director
You're going places
Haiku # 62749, March 7, 2019 9:47 pm ET
by Star of Hollywood
Being Buddha sucks
Intestinal blockage bloat
Stuck sitting so still

Hear me out on this
Depict perpetual bliss
Toilet under him
Haiku # 62748, March 7, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Brainstorming
No shortage of Spooge
The very dawn of mankind
A Giant Spoogeball
Haiku # 62747, March 7, 2019 7:46 pm ET
by Carl of Cosmos
VHS will sigh,
I wish I had been nicer
To those millionaires
Haiku # 62746, March 7, 2019 7:43 pm ET
by Millionaire of Bank
You are a genius
Yes, we will be millionaires
Lower sneeze freeze pop
Haiku # 62745, March 7, 2019 7:41 pm ET
by Some would even say it glowed of On the way to the bank
Did Buddha jack off
after his enlightenment?
If so, did it glow?

I'm asking because
I want to refill glow sticks
for kids to play with.

Popular Thai toy.
Glowing sticks of Buddha spooge.
Drink it when you're done.
Haiku # 62744, March 7, 2019 7:16 pm ET
by Brother Figpucker of Smoking the Black Lotus
My vagina's name
I call it Miss Chewbacca
A friend of Han Solo
Haiku # 62743, March 7, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Uncanny resemblance
Perpetual smile
And another one down there
It's cunnilingus!
Haiku # 62742, March 7, 2019 4:29 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt of Cunt
Just a few more words
Poems to brighten your day
Have an awesome day!
Haiku # 62741, March 7, 2019 4:27 pm ET
by Perky poet
Heard of Papa Smurf?
Allow me to introduce
The Great papa schmear
Haiku # 62740, March 7, 2019 2:20 pm ET
by Old blue balls
You ought to know
Standing at my dishwasher
Just ate a bagel
Haiku # 62739, March 7, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by Sk of Dishwasher portal
Good one, Starkitten!
Changed the lox and litter box.
Made me fucking laugh.
Haiku # 62738, March 7, 2019 1:41 pm ET
by df
Okay, Stan, no prob.
The Devil would never lie.
So you must be he.
Haiku # 62737, March 7, 2019 1:40 pm ET
by Flawless logic.
It was all kosher
Rabbi's wife's kosher dildo
Schmear with her bagel
Haiku # 62736, March 7, 2019 1:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of I've changed the lox
Ok, this is Stan
Settle down there Figpucker
I am the DEVIL
Haiku # 62735, March 7, 2019 1:36 pm ET
by Stan of Hell
Behold: Jesus flesh!
A bit old -- salmonella.
But better than Spam.
Haiku # 62733, March 7, 2019 12:23 pm ET
by df
Like an abused wife,
You'll crawl back, begging for more.
And I'll flop it out.
Haiku # 62732, March 7, 2019 12:21 pm ET
by df -- reaching new depths just like James Cameron of with his camera on
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