Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it is true I make a living traveling from city to town displaying my enormous member. I have just finished polishing the business end of things and once everyone is seated and tickets have been collected......
Haiku # 62297, February 18, 2019 1:13 pm ET
by Employed
Bearded ladies sashaying past my circus tent. Not to boast, but it
Haiku # 62296, February 18, 2019 1:12 pm ET
by Employed
I can
Haiku # 62295, February 18, 2019 1:05 pm ET
by Grizzle Dean of Mountains
Down here on the floor
Say, you have such shapely gams.
Blessed with three of them!
Haiku # 62294, February 18, 2019 1:03 pm ET
by Leg Man of Floor
Blue Furry Hard On
Cookie Monster Arous ed
Me Love a Chocolate Chip

Asshole not too far
Phantom Tollbooth Cookie Hoke
Use blue fur poker

Me glad you enjoy
Me eat chocolate chip
Eat smelly brown dough
Haiku # 62293, February 18, 2019 12:06 pm ET
by Cookie Monster of Deep in ass
This Murkan agrees.
I'd never heard of Smollett
till this fiasco.
Haiku # 62292, February 18, 2019 10:56 am ET
by Nigerian Villain of Fake Noose
It is not fake news,
but it's sure irrelevant.
That's what 'Murkins love.
Haiku # 62291, February 18, 2019 10:26 am ET
by df
Poor Jussie Smollett.
Had SO much going for him:
Black, gay, hated Trump. . .
Haiku # 62290, February 18, 2019 9:57 am ET
by Either a hero or a victim of social injustice HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA cowfart
A chocolate chip.
Implanted deep in my ass.
Those damn aliens.
Haiku # 62289, February 18, 2019 9:03 am ET
by df
You will order lunch
Drop to your knees in the line
Both arms outstretched

Demand pickle juice
If you are able to speak
Ask for a refill
Haiku # 62288, February 18, 2019 7:23 am ET
by High AF Noon
I've seen the Gill Man
Shapeshifting Reptillian
Casual sunset
Haiku # 62287, February 18, 2019 7:16 am ET
by His reflection of In a door
Where did I leave off..oh yes, and furthermore, you will be asked to walk away from all you have ever known. The unfamiliar will be the new familiar. Don't bother to analyze what you are becoming. There is no turning back or chance for repair. Your chip was implanted decades ago.
Haiku # 62286, February 18, 2019 7:13 am ET
by I know of You know
I saw that movie
Delivery guy left tip
Bobbitt Residence
Haiku # 62285, February 18, 2019 7:08 am ET
by Delivery in 6 inches or less of Or it is free
That's sure is funny.
Pizza's exactly what came.
Then so did your wife.
Haiku # 62284, February 18, 2019 2:51 am ET
by df
Forget common sense
Reptilian orchestration
You can't escape this
Haiku # 62283, February 18, 2019 12:52 am ET
by The Plan of For you
in the here and now
It used to be the future
Now it is the past
Haiku # 62282, February 18, 2019 12:50 am ET
by Don't stop of Do it
It incenses me
Hippies foul their bell bottoms
Cow farts are bad, too.
Haiku # 62281, February 18, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Gill Man
Extra thin sliced clit
Not unlike Italian salami
With extra tang
Haiku # 62280, February 18, 2019 12:44 am ET
by Gnu Deli of Somali Somali Baloney
What a lovely world.
Hindus foul their own rivers.
Somalis slice clits.
Haiku # 62279, February 17, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Multi-Kulti Overdose of YouTube
Forget everything that you were thinking before you learned the truth. It will no longer serve your needs. When the seventeen foot tall robots knock your foot down you will understand what is coming next and it ain't a pizza
Haiku # 62278, February 17, 2019 11:19 pm ET
by Just saying
Except for my own personal reasons I don't think I can do this again but it has to be a great idea for the new law to make the case to be a better source of information about how it is. If you can catch my drift, you know what I want to say about the new world of foolishness and the new law of the republic. We're without any free will and therefore it makes sense to just sit back and relax and focus on eating sleeping and bowel movements
Haiku # 62277, February 17, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by In no particular order
Henceforth you'll be called...
Darth Funtcart, Lord of Savage.
Rise, my apprentice.

Okay, enough fun.
Got to feed my dinosaur.
She's an herbivore.
Haiku # 62276, February 17, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, having delusions of grandure
There are only two,
the master and apprentice.
Starkitten's neither.

Though he's unaware,
Cuntfart is my apprentice.
Shit flows from his pen.

A slow trickle now.
But soon to be a geyser.
Old faithful shit spew.
Haiku # 62275, February 17, 2019 10:32 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, the endless wellspring of fecal matter, splatter on the platter, you eat and get fatter.
Masturbatory!
Holy schlong shlappers, Batman,
get the Vaseline!
Haiku # 62274, February 17, 2019 10:25 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker, Esq.
Just like Bono said
We're one but we're not the same


Darth, Starkitten
Haiku # 62273, February 17, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Bono is silly
We're all getting full
But the demon inside growls
EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT
Haiku # 62272, February 17, 2019 7:22 pm ET
by Person who is apparently not finished eating of Table
I know how you feel.
I also become evil
when craving pasta.
Haiku # 62271, February 17, 2019 6:21 pm ET
by df
Spaghetti monster
You live inside my body
You make me do this
Haiku # 62270, February 17, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by Barilla Gorilla
Melodious farts
Bringing joy to the workplace
Now, roll up your sleeves
Haiku # 62269, February 17, 2019 4:27 pm ET
by Motivational speaker of Japan
Bad Haiku phone call
Hello?? Who's calling?
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 62268, February 17, 2019 4:15 pm ET
by dERECTory of ASSistance
Used to have it all
But it didn't bring me joy
So I threw it out
Haiku # 62267, February 17, 2019 3:45 pm ET
by M.T. Kondo of Full Bank Account
Hippie gorp glutton
Fouled your bell bottoms again
Lay off the seeds, man
Haiku # 62266, February 17, 2019 2:52 pm ET
by Peace
What would they call it?

If cats made cottage cheese

My guess: Cattage Cheese
Haiku # 62265, February 17, 2019 2:46 pm ET
by Notices of details of Oblivion
Adjust the gonads
Rollerblading dynamo
Ladies, form a line
Haiku # 62264, February 17, 2019 2:42 pm ET
by Too Cool of For Words
Every day the same
It should just be called Sameday
Thank G-d,it's Sameday!
Haiku # 62263, February 17, 2019 1:47 pm ET
by Same shit, Sameday
Haiku on Sunday
Might be considered a sin
Yelled from the pulpit
Haiku # 62262, February 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by Jack N. DePulpit of Personal Papermill
Outside Tastee-Freeze
The sucking of chili dogs
The melancholy
Haiku # 62261, February 17, 2019 8:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sipping beverages
I'm slurping to annoy you
Pal, its my nature.
Haiku # 62260, February 17, 2019 8:41 am ET
by Sluuuuuuuuuuuuurp of Discount Beverage Depot of Slurpistan
Poor old man Grundy
Goose splatter feces oatmeal
Breakfasting outside
Haiku # 62259, February 17, 2019 8:36 am ET
by With Quaker Oats Dude of High AF
Purple lily pad
Someone kissed a purple frog
That's where Prince came from
Haiku # 62258, February 17, 2019 8:33 am ET
by Fairy Tails the truth and I ain't amphibian you
You need penis slapped.
You need transformed poetics.
You sure need something . . .
Haiku # 62257, February 17, 2019 7:37 am ET
by Slap-happy Grand Pappy of Slapistan
I beheld Pepe
Over there in Kekistan
Green as any frog
Haiku # 62256, February 17, 2019 5:41 am ET
by Kekistani Poet of REEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee
I went to Dorking
It's over there in England
I was with some dorks
Haiku # 62255, February 17, 2019 2:20 am ET
by Last century
Forgot to mention
Penis slaps me in the face
With every new step
Haiku # 62254, February 17, 2019 1:32 am ET
by Step by Step of Oooo baby
but I just don't know how I can make it through the door. My approach may be sideways if I don't have a boner. Hard to believe that I used to walk down flights of stairs in a continuous handstand. The condition of my condition is a source of concern and ridicule. Go ahead and laugh as I attempt to recreate stair stunts to impress my new friends.
Haiku # 62253, February 16, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hey,have one for me
Blow the smoke straight in my face
Now eat the filter
Haiku # 62252, February 16, 2019 10:28 pm ET
by Simon Says
By his Mole
Haiku # 62251, February 16, 2019 8:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That last poem was penned by John Boy Walton
Haiku # 62250, February 16, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by He always tries of To steal my thunder
Got so high once
Thought I was an ingrown hair
Thanks, Mary Ellen
Haiku # 62249, February 16, 2019 8:07 pm ET
by John Boy Walton of High AF Walton
Your mother was right
If you make a face like that
It will stay that way
Haiku # 62248, February 16, 2019 8:03 pm ET
by Mothers of the Universe of Always aRight
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