And the next morning
Hair was growing on the walls
The doorknobs were missing

and here we are years
later still posting haikus...

sometimes, a bit more

Found an Easter egg.
Wonder if it is still good.
One way to find out.

Hey, if you're lonely
I got some smooches for ya
John Boy Walton's Mole

mmhmm, i feel too
flushed to flush because those jokes
all went down the drain

And all In one go
A heart shaped bowel movement
Pity to flush it

Wanna know what love is..
I want you to show me
wahoooogaaaaaaaahhh yaaYaaaaah

Thinking about Love
'Cause that's what it's all about
Then I stepped in poop

It's all about Love.
Love,Love,Love,Love,Love... oh wait--
almost forgot God.

How do I know this?
WahooooooooGahhhhhhh Ya Ya
Gross Dripping sounds

When Bigfoot gets laid
Lusty moans reverberate
Trees gush sap comeload

You should hear it
My Michael MacDonald voice
I look like Bigfoot

mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me

mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me

By "higher" I mean stoned out of your fucking gourd.

to higher dimensions

a gateway

is a door

That jar

This can

all your tweets are belong to us

That can

That can... ??? Don't fall in
can like a dangling feces.
Kerplop. There it went.

That can

Nothing to say here
That can

Pass ammunition
And Praise the Lord Figpucker
Let God sort it out

If you don't get V,
And you do not get the D,
You don't get VD.

My fart's better than yoooor fart.
My fart's better than yours!
My fart's better 'cause it gets durian.
My fart's better than yours!

For a really good fart, durian and pomelo fruits combined! And if you're brave, add balot egg for some serious professional flatus. I haven't reached that level. Maybe if I get drunk enough.... but I'm not supposed to drink. Oh well. Maybe just once. worth the risk.

Promise not to laugh
My fart is my best feature
Savory and sweet

Low flying saucer
Look! Green alien, JoJo
Hurling rotten eggs

Santorum harvest
Hark! The Skinflute whistle blows
Work, Oompa Loompas!

Velveeta cheese food.
Hydrogenated butt lube.
Processed santorum.

Trump hair yellow dye.
Disodium mastearbate.
One percent cheddar.

Baloney sandwich
Stuck to the roof of my house
The seagulls will feast

I said have not gave usomnofabiotch

My, how you gave grown
Those penis enlargement pills
But aren't they for men?

I pee in the streets
Make zig zag pattern and swirls
I just might be drunk

all your shitholes are belong to us

chinese communist infiltration?

I can

Substandard living.
Flies, mosquitoes, rotting filth,
ugly prostitutes.

They talk a good speech
in the land of hypocrites.
Ethics and Morals.

They pee in the streets,
Crazy people walk naked,
You can't jog shirtless!

all your pigfuckers are belong to us

But only that once!
being right once in your life...
each dog has its day.

But that was not nice.
Comparing trump to a dog.
Dogs are not that bad.

They make a great stew!
Can't say I'd want to eat trump.
That's for Russian whores.

And you're incorrect.
I am not into shit holes.
Only shit poems.

Figpucker admits
Regarding his favorite hole:
Donald Trump was RIGHT !

Recycle chopstick
Use as tool pick nose.Pick ass
Picasso! Paintbrush

Speaking of Buddha
Walk to store for loaf of bread
Come back Enlightened

He went to Hooters
Blew his whole wad at the joint
Felt 10 pounds lighter

I think I'm jealous
of the man who married the
pillowcase. Sexy!

So, if Buddha left
his wife and kids to become
"enlightened"... well then...

"Fresh" and "Philippines"
do not belong together.
Nothing stays fresh here.

Refrigeration?
Newfangled electronics.
That's for rich people!

Donald Trump was right
when he said "shit hole countries".
But only that once.

Sad boy lonely man
He married a pillowcase
Everyone else laugh

Hospital for dolls
Mistreated by rough perverts
Inflatable babes

Real kung fu is bad.
It can kill with either hand.
But not what you think.

Kill the beer belly
And the deep dark depression
And the feeling sloth.