Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Will you eat my twat.
And not just some, but a lot.
Never mind the clot.
Haiku # 62116, February 10, 2019 6:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Looks like Darth's been here.
Sure smells like he visited...
Watch what you step in.
Haiku # 62115, February 10, 2019 6:24 pm ET
by Cybernetic Latrine of Virtual Olfactory
Order in the court!
Fish Delight and Hamberders
Don't judge my taste buds
Haiku # 62114, February 10, 2019 6:14 pm ET
by Don the Con of Lobby Hotel Graybar
Cleaning dust bunnies
Never expected to find
Stranger under bed
Haiku # 62113, February 10, 2019 5:36 pm ET
by OCD of Dust ruffle
Add spice to your lives
Surprise the family right now
Tom Cruise undies dance
Haiku # 62112, February 10, 2019 2:55 pm ET
by Your living room of Socks tightywhites
When you jump the broom
Marriage can be like a vacuum
Let in some fresh air
Haiku # 62111, February 10, 2019 2:53 pm ET
by Primal Scream of Crack under door
when my family
assumes the vacuum is more
important than my

life, its time to leave
them alone and contemplate
money versus life

things versus items
Haiku # 62110, February 10, 2019 12:00 pm ET
by vhs
i dont dare post stuff
on here, it just keeps going
and going and go...
Haiku # 62109, February 10, 2019 11:05 am ET
by SPC 113
Perhaps,ask yourself
Why you have to get so close
To the Grizzly bear
Haiku # 62108, February 10, 2019 3:27 am ET
by Selfie of 2die4
An awkward silence
Judicious release of wind
Now we're all smiling
Haiku # 62107, February 10, 2019 1:54 am ET
by How to wind friends and flatulence people of Apex of Fart
In the tall green grass
Masturbating Leprechaun
Hung like a stallion
Haiku # 62106, February 10, 2019 1:50 am ET
by Irish Eyes of Smiing
Rummage Sale scream
Huge dildo in the free box
Life is wonderful
Haiku # 62105, February 10, 2019 1:46 am ET
by Bargain Hunter
Remember those times
You wish you stayed home longer
And used the toilet
Haiku # 62104, February 10, 2019 1:43 am ET
by Tell tale brown stain of Pants
He snuck in the zoo
To cuddle rhinos. No sex.
Saved it for the sloth
Haiku # 62103, February 9, 2019 11:12 pm ET
by Slow hand of You look wonderful tonight
Hey, is that you God?
Didn't picture you like that
How come your dink's small?
Haiku # 62102, February 9, 2019 9:01 pm ET
by Get with the program
Go smote thyself now.
All you talk about is shit.
And women's organs...
Haiku # 62101, February 9, 2019 8:51 pm ET
by Sure as Hell Deserve Get Smote
Spunk a doodle doo
My red rooster jizzed on you
Colonel Sanders too
Haiku # 62100, February 9, 2019 8:47 pm ET
by Bawkbbawk begahhhhhh
Talking to myself
Billy's Idol high five me
Tap shuffle tap tap
Haiku # 62099, February 9, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by Kool of Person
Al Gore got rhythm
Dancing to devil music
Eating out Tipper
Haiku # 62098, February 9, 2019 8:44 pm ET
by Noticed of details
Get smote in real time
Virtual Reality
Biblical version
Haiku # 62097, February 9, 2019 8:41 pm ET
by Smote Avoider
Yeah, I've got rhythm
Tap dancing on your sidewalk
I will never stop
Haiku # 62096, February 9, 2019 8:39 pm ET
by Al G O'Rhythm
Just gave birth to twins
Named them Mortar and Pestle
My bad, t'was kaka
Haiku # 62095, February 9, 2019 8:36 pm ET
by Regular of Boom boom room
Took a shine to you
Even your round pizza face
Your hot anchovy
Haiku # 62094, February 9, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Not Bon Jovi of New Grimicey (formerly known as New Jersey)
Sleight of hand job trick
Kiss rabbit between the ears
Boner levitates
Haiku # 62093, February 9, 2019 8:11 pm ET
by Magic of Hat
if i can get some
people from twitter to say twit
here, give us the bird?
Haiku # 62092, February 9, 2019 6:47 pm ET
by vhs
Robots make Haiku?
This modern world is hellish.
Nothing is sacred

Vast emptiness
And nothing is holy here
That's what Damo said.

Of course he was right
hells- empty, devils roam earth.
With robot back up
Haiku # 62091, February 9, 2019 6:47 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Garbage disposal
Gnarlygrabgobgobbling
Tiresome penis
Haiku # 62090, February 9, 2019 5:11 pm ET
by Dispose-All of That's what it says
Zip line getaway
Chased by hungry cannibals
They want my innards

Gizzard off limits
Hands off my sweet meat, Losers!!
Go make a salad
Haiku # 62089, February 9, 2019 5:07 pm ET
by Gizzardkeeper
Automatically
Lubricate the syllables
With each new poem
Haiku # 62088, February 9, 2019 1:49 pm ET
by Robot Grease
We know what you are:
A.I. haiku algorithm.
Because your names SUCK
Haiku # 62087, February 9, 2019 1:45 pm ET
by Name of a Human Soul so FUCK A.I.
Blurry, spinning dizzy
Fingers stuck in bowling ball
Former severed head
Haiku # 62086, February 9, 2019 11:44 am ET
by Life Hacks of Pinterest
Sin. Repent. Sin. Sin.
Repent. Sin. Sin..Now the horns!
It was Sin Sin Sin!
Haiku # 62085, February 9, 2019 11:39 am ET
by R U Dancing? of R U asking?
Organic Christmas
Gave the wife a cucumber
She find new pickle
Haiku # 62084, February 9, 2019 11:33 am ET
by Holidaze
Tested on horses
Song stylings of Hall and Oates
Steaming road apples
Haiku # 62083, February 9, 2019 11:29 am ET
by Sara of Vertigo Smile
Yurt of tunafish
I think you know what I mean
Feels like home to me
Haiku # 62082, February 9, 2019 3:41 am ET
by Cushion pusher of Third World
The food bank you robbed
Frostbitten gonads for you
Move on, Steakstealer
Haiku # 62081, February 9, 2019 3:38 am ET
by Waddling of Chafed
Art Garfunkel
Haiku # 62080, February 9, 2019 3:31 am ET
by Witchy of Edie Brickell
Speak in a false voice
And when they call for a priest
Spit up thick pea soup
Haiku # 62079, February 9, 2019 3:24 am ET
by Run of Like Hell
Recite it aloud
Then face the consequences
Blame it on haiku
Haiku # 62078, February 9, 2019 3:23 am ET
by Not afraid of Poetry
Poetry Robot
Hello, how are you today?
Ejaculates grease
Haiku # 62077, February 9, 2019 3:21 am ET
by The Future of Running The other way
Sucking down crab legs
Gyrations and mad air humps
Did I catch your eye?
Haiku # 62076, February 9, 2019 3:18 am ET
by Maniac of On the floor
Peppermint ding dong
Satisfying sensation
Freshen lower breath
Haiku # 62075, February 9, 2019 3:16 am ET
by The fresh maker
Never mind the coal
I
Haiku # 62074, February 9, 2019 3:14 am ET
by Santa of Workshopping eager beaver via morning wood
To DF: some coal
Put it under some pressure
Voila diamonds
Haiku # 62073, February 9, 2019 3:09 am ET
by Off Season Santa of forward all replies to north pole
Grandpa
Haiku # 62072, February 9, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Geezer
Commando Nation
Pull your pants out of your ass
They get sucked in there
Haiku # 62071, February 9, 2019 2:59 am ET
by Age old problem
I do remember
Caturday nights high on nip
How many lives ago?
Haiku # 62070, February 9, 2019 2:54 am ET
by Familiar of Old haunt
Where my sheep at yo?
Have ewe seen any of them?
Wolves slither snakes howl
Haiku # 62069, February 9, 2019 2:50 am ET
by Shepherd of Field
Migrating mountain
Voiceless song as echoes pass
Moon shines over here
Haiku # 62068, February 9, 2019 2:48 am ET
by human 4
Rubbing against you
To leave my scent on your leg
You remember me
Haiku # 62067, February 9, 2019 2:46 am ET
by human 3
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