Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Biological
Remember my lab partner
A nice set of tits
Haiku # 61604, January 10, 2019 1:34 pm ET
by Alumnus
Sanitized haiku
But you left out the best part
Crocodile Dong
Haiku # 61603, January 10, 2019 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fetch my walking stick
The ornately carved handle
Crocodile
Haiku # 61602, January 10, 2019 1:29 pm ET
by Crikey of Down Under
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
a Haiku in the style of DF:


five syllables shit
seven syllables more shit
and finally, the stench...
Haiku # 61601, January 10, 2019 9:23 am ET
by Faithful follower of Farth Digpucker
Oh fervent poets!
Oh Haiku visionaries!
Don't you just LOVE Trump?
Haiku # 61600, January 10, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Reactions of Reactionaries
Keep slapping that ham,
oh grand Sensei of Haiku.
May it help your verse.
Haiku # 61599, January 10, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Syllababically Challenged of Sillabobbles

Free cassettes? Right on.
ABBA, Pink Floyd... forget Bjork.
I'll use my Walkman.
Haiku # 61598, January 10, 2019 8:16 am ET
by Syd Faltskog of That wicked syncopated ragtime
Turning to butter
Penis slapping. Running top speed
You'll never catch me
Haiku # 61597, January 10, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Human Pyramid
Bulimic Cheerleader Blows
Laxative Lava
Haiku # 61596, January 10, 2019 5:22 am ET
by Hawaiian Rainbows of HeyIwannaleiya
The drunken in laws
I pissed in their lemonade
I watch them drink it
Haiku # 61595, January 10, 2019 5:17 am ET
by Urine Goodhands
Sometimes when I run
My penis slaps my legs hard
Then I run faster
Haiku # 61594, January 10, 2019 5:14 am ET
by Insane Bolt of Ahead of You
Seeking employment
Acceptance in the workplace
Got a smelly bum
Haiku # 61593, January 10, 2019 5:11 am ET
by It won't come clean
Fill out all the forms
Magazine subscriptions come
Never pay for them
Haiku # 61592, January 10, 2019 5:07 am ET
by I take issue with this of Periodically
Lonely at the top
Haiku misers! Hoarders, all!
Just what will it take
Haiku # 61591, January 10, 2019 4:07 am ET
by Mooning You All of Barstool
The Real Starkitten
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
I am Starkitten
Haiku # 61590, January 9, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Ten Penny Henry
Extra penny for your thoughts
They verge on dirty
Haiku # 61589, January 9, 2019 3:05 pm ET
by Come On Eileen of Ta loo rye ay
There is soup in my fly
Creme d Trousertrout
Haiku # 61588, January 9, 2019 3:00 pm ET
by Frenchy
Wardrobe Malfunction
Waiter, there
Haiku # 61587, January 9, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Frenchy of Oooo lala
Columbia House
Free cassettes for VHS
ABBA, Pink Floyd, Bjork
Haiku # 61586, January 9, 2019 2:53 pm ET
by 12 for a penny
Escargot leaves trail
Are we there yet? No, not yet.
Are we there yet? Soon
Haiku # 61585, January 9, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Almost there of Snail trail
Enjoyable when you are hella baked
Like Funyuns and basically all food
Haiku # 61584, January 9, 2019 1:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I would imagine
This website
Haiku # 61583, January 9, 2019 1:56 pm ET
by Puffgiggles of Gigglepuffs
I hope v.h.s.
is still alive and typing.
he seemed so depressed.
Haiku # 61582, January 9, 2019 8:32 am ET
by Downeast of Southwest
How much puck would a
Figpucker puck if a Fig
pucker could puck fig?

Kitten versus star:
Feline musings wander far
Bookish avatar
Haiku # 61581, January 9, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Haiku Disinformation of Front Operation
More verse about Trump...
greatest statesman and leader
since old Abe Lincoln!
Haiku # 61580, January 9, 2019 8:19 am ET
by Donaldian Sources of Poetic Inspiration
A morning quickie:
getting it on with my muse
Thanks love, that was fun.
Haiku # 61579, January 9, 2019 8:15 am ET
by Wham Bam of Thank You Haiku
Under surveillance
No ordinary pervert
Dad's got a hard on
Haiku # 61578, January 8, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by Ivanka Trump of Toadstool polisher
Books were overdue
LIBRARIAN STABS BOOKWORM!
Throw the book at him
Haiku # 61577, January 8, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by Fitting Punishment
Quiet Library
Clicking of high heels. A scream.
Murder Mystery
Haiku # 61576, January 8, 2019 10:53 pm ET
by Reading Rainbow
I'm gonna catch heck
Leaving this tremendous poop
In your toilet bowl
Haiku # 61575, January 8, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Don't Mind Me of Collision Course with Colitis
Origami Fold
Defecate Japanese style
Delicate brown bird
Haiku # 61574, January 8, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by One ply
A wall made of bricks
Each one gold. Each one I shit.
Tremendous, my bricks.
Haiku # 61573, January 8, 2019 7:25 pm ET
by Toadstool dick
Nasal Spelunking
Bring home a green souvenir
On your fingertip
Haiku # 61572, January 8, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Pokey of Poconos ( Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge)
Where is Figpucker?
Joined the priesthood?Arrested?
Need some of his sass
Haiku # 61571, January 8, 2019 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Neurotic liberals
As far as the eye can see
Projecting their peeve
Haiku # 61570, January 8, 2019 3:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Get well soon, poet
Prescription Refillable
Healing Syllables
Haiku # 61569, January 8, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Doc sk of Bad Haiku
Crud won't go away
I'll stay home again today
Call or text, okay
Haiku # 61568, January 8, 2019 1:14 pm ET
by pudding tame of Earth
Admit your mistake
Voting for Angry Orange
What were you thinking?
Haiku # 61567, January 8, 2019 10:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Racists hate Cheetos.
Haters hate our president.
(We know he's a saint.)
Haiku # 61566, January 8, 2019 7:54 am ET
by Neurotic Projections of The Left
Spiritual gas
Rising sky high from my ass
This poop soon shall pass
Haiku # 61565, January 8, 2019 7:48 am ET
by Passwinder of Holditinder
Survival Food Kit
One fat mama cass sandwich
With a moistmaker
Haiku # 61564, January 8, 2019 7:20 am ET
by Prepared
Old cunt lips flapping
Mud flaps on grandad's pickup
Grandma rides shotgun
Haiku # 61563, January 8, 2019 7:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When you are the best
The best part is the best smell
That comes from your farts
Haiku # 61562, January 8, 2019 7:01 am ET
by Sniffy
Pizza is my friend
Circle triangle yum yum
Chomp chomp fart fart fart
Haiku # 61561, January 8, 2019 5:35 am ET
by Greasy Pete of Poop pants
Appreciation
Couldn't they show it just once
No. Shit in their soup.
Haiku # 61560, January 8, 2019 5:29 am ET
by Alice of Brady Residence
He farted toothpaste
Freak of nature. Minty Fresh.
Smelly Cavity
Haiku # 61559, January 8, 2019 4:22 am ET
by Fangtooth
Kimono Bad stain
Ancient Japanese Secret
Use toilet paper
Haiku # 61558, January 8, 2019 4:20 am ET
by Kaka PooPoo of Terlit
Vagina Sniffer
The pay stinks. the cunt stinks too
Nose to the grindstone
Haiku # 61557, January 8, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Jack Off of Box
Potato hard on
Ejaculating Spud
Potato stick spew
Haiku # 61556, January 8, 2019 4:15 am ET
by Vegetables are gross
Everlasting Fart
Dense cloud hovering, drone like
Mission Accomplished
Haiku # 61555, January 8, 2019 4:13 am ET
by E. mission of In the air tonight
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