BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
129 Days
and
63080 Haikus
later...
A morning quickie:
getting it on with my muse
Thanks love, that was fun.
Haiku #61579, by Wham Bam of Thank You Haiku
January 9, 2019 8:15 am ET

Under surveillance
No ordinary pervert
Dad's got a hard on
Haiku #61578, by Ivanka Trump of Toadstool polisher
January 8, 2019 11:09 pm ET

Books were overdue
LIBRARIAN STABS BOOKWORM!
Throw the book at him
Haiku #61577, by Fitting Punishment
January 8, 2019 10:58 pm ET

Quiet Library
Clicking of high heels. A scream.
Murder Mystery
Haiku #61576, by Reading Rainbow
January 8, 2019 10:53 pm ET

I'm gonna catch heck
Leaving this tremendous poop
In your toilet bowl
Haiku #61575, by Don't Mind Me of Collision Course with Colitis
January 8, 2019 10:50 pm ET

Origami Fold
Defecate Japanese style
Delicate brown bird
Haiku #61574, by One ply
January 8, 2019 8:18 pm ET

A wall made of bricks
Each one gold. Each one I shit.
Tremendous, my bricks.
Haiku #61573, by Toadstool dick
January 8, 2019 7:25 pm ET

Nasal Spelunking
Bring home a green souvenir
On your fingertip
Haiku #61572, by Pokey of Poconos ( Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge)
January 8, 2019 6:20 pm ET

Where is Figpucker?
Joined the priesthood?Arrested?
Need some of his sass
Haiku #61571, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 6:13 pm ET

Neurotic liberals
As far as the eye can see
Projecting their peeve
Haiku #61570, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 3:47 pm ET

Get well soon, poet
Prescription Refillable
Healing Syllables
Haiku #61569, by Doc sk of Bad Haiku
January 8, 2019 2:51 pm ET

Crud won't go away
I'll stay home again today
Call or text, okay
Haiku #61568, by pudding tame of Earth
January 8, 2019 1:14 pm ET

Admit your mistake
Voting for Angry Orange
What were you thinking?
Haiku #61567, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 10:15 am ET

Racists hate Cheetos.
Haters hate our president.
(We know he's a saint.)
Haiku #61566, by Neurotic Projections of The Left
January 8, 2019 7:54 am ET

Spiritual gas
Rising sky high from my ass
This poop soon shall pass
Haiku #61565, by Passwinder of Holditinder
January 8, 2019 7:48 am ET

Survival Food Kit
One fat mama cass sandwich
With a moistmaker
Haiku #61564, by Prepared
January 8, 2019 7:20 am ET

Old cunt lips flapping
Mud flaps on grandad's pickup
Grandma rides shotgun
Haiku #61563, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 7:06 am ET

When you are the best
The best part is the best smell
That comes from your farts
Haiku #61562, by Sniffy
January 8, 2019 7:01 am ET

Pizza is my friend
Circle triangle yum yum
Chomp chomp fart fart fart
Haiku #61561, by Greasy Pete of Poop pants
January 8, 2019 5:35 am ET

Appreciation
Couldn't they show it just once
No. Shit in their soup.
Haiku #61560, by Alice of Brady Residence
January 8, 2019 5:29 am ET

He farted toothpaste
Freak of nature. Minty Fresh.
Smelly Cavity
Haiku #61559, by Fangtooth
January 8, 2019 4:22 am ET

Kimono Bad stain
Ancient Japanese Secret
Use toilet paper
Haiku #61558, by Kaka PooPoo of Terlit
January 8, 2019 4:20 am ET

Vagina Sniffer
The pay stinks. the cunt stinks too
Nose to the grindstone
Haiku #61557, by Jack Off of Box
January 8, 2019 4:18 am ET

Potato hard on
Ejaculating Spud
Potato stick spew
Haiku #61556, by Vegetables are gross
January 8, 2019 4:15 am ET

Everlasting Fart
Dense cloud hovering, drone like
Mission Accomplished
Haiku #61555, by E. mission of In the air tonight
January 8, 2019 4:13 am ET

Crumble stale Cheeto
Defective and past shelf life
Bloated, racist pig
Haiku #61554, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 12:32 am ET

Here lies Swollen Gland
Buried with his dick in hand
Death Boner unplanned
Haiku #61553, by Life is weird of Smegmatery
January 7, 2019 7:28 pm ET

Only Indians
are truly spiritual.
We white men are not.
Haiku #61552, by Professional Indian-Lover of the Vavished West
January 7, 2019 7:27 pm ET

Standing on the corpse
Activated ding dong nerve
Funeral postponed
Haiku #61551, by Couldn
January 7, 2019 7:21 pm ET

Shogun of hung low
Lost his danoinks with one blow
From the Blunderbuss
Haiku #61550, by Gun Shy
January 7, 2019 7:18 pm ET

I stand on your corpse.
I write Haiku epitaphs.
Your cadaver grins.
Haiku #61549, by Haiku of Death
January 7, 2019 5:17 pm ET

Deranged by Donald
It's now a global symptom:
orange harbinger...
Haiku #61548, by Gibbering Multitudes of Leftard Mobs
January 7, 2019 10:33 am ET

Lord Cheeto rises,
shining, resplendent, orange.
Bow ye before him.
Haiku #61547, by Another whiny Lib of Trump Derangement Syndrome
January 7, 2019 10:30 am ET

Oh such Haiku crimes;
defiling a pristine form.
Basho-san vomits
Haiku #61546, by Shogun of Gun Show
January 7, 2019 9:50 am ET

Ok, so I lied
The moment you fell asleep
I took out my knife
Haiku #61545, by Liar
January 7, 2019 4:33 am ET

I'll watch over you
All night while you're sleeping, friend
I won't touch your dink
Haiku #61544, by Promise
January 7, 2019 4:18 am ET

In the Instant Pot
The severed head of Braydon
The Target Cashier
Haiku #61543, by BraydenJaydencaydenGreydon of Asinine names
January 7, 2019 3:52 am ET

Police at your door
Invest in a pet grizzly
Glaze doughnuts with bleach
Haiku #61542, by Pig Puncher
January 7, 2019 3:46 am ET

Clean Asshole Award
I would win that. Hands down(pants)
Fingernails B. Brown
Haiku #61541, by Digger
January 6, 2019 6:49 pm ET

Holey Communion
Saw the priest's dink hanging out
Get a sewing kit!
Haiku #61540, by Sunday Churchgoer of Church
January 6, 2019 6:45 pm ET

Dead Reawaken
They moonwalk and twerk. So evil!
Turn off the music
Haiku #61539, by Had it of Up to here
January 6, 2019 5:24 pm ET

Something in the air
Artisan cheese. Midget owned.
Fromunda their balls.
Haiku #61538, by Mindya of Business
January 6, 2019 5:20 pm ET

Starkitten had wit.
Darth Figpucker stinks of shit.
The dude from Maine split (?)
Haiku #61537, by Starpucker Figkitten
January 6, 2019 3:38 pm ET

GOVERNMENT SHUT-DOWN!
I'm so frightened. God I'm scared.
Lord Cheeto, help us.
Haiku #61536, by Cowering Minions of Lord Cheeto of Orange
January 6, 2019 3:34 pm ET

Home Economics
I
Haiku #61535, by Sofa King (Handsome) of Living Room
January 6, 2019 3:12 pm ET

Bright lights of spring:
nothing to do. But darn, dad
deep throat your OWN socks...
Haiku #61534, by Foot Fetish of Librarians
January 6, 2019 12:59 pm ET

Dark nights of winter
Nothing to do but darn socks
And deep throat your Dad
Haiku #61533, by Longing for Spring
January 6, 2019 2:30 am ET

Is Starkitten real?
A librarian? Really?
I never knew that
Haiku #61532, by Tweety
January 5, 2019 10:21 pm ET

Greasy big old balls
No, I don't want to touch them
They really stink bad
Haiku #61531, by Anonymous Poet
January 5, 2019 8:17 pm ET

I'm a fig picker
Got sticky brown fingernails
I pick the best figs
Haiku #61530, by Figpicker
January 5, 2019 11:40 am ET