Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Crud won't go away
I'll stay home again today
Call or text, okay
Haiku # 61568, January 8, 2019 1:14 pm ET
by pudding tame of Earth
Admit your mistake
Voting for Angry Orange
What were you thinking?
Haiku # 61567, January 8, 2019 10:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Racists hate Cheetos.
Haters hate our president.
(We know he's a saint.)
Haiku # 61566, January 8, 2019 7:54 am ET
by Neurotic Projections of The Left
Spiritual gas
Rising sky high from my ass
This poop soon shall pass
Haiku # 61565, January 8, 2019 7:48 am ET
by Passwinder of Holditinder
Survival Food Kit
One fat mama cass sandwich
With a moistmaker
Haiku # 61564, January 8, 2019 7:20 am ET
by Prepared
Old cunt lips flapping
Mud flaps on grandad's pickup
Grandma rides shotgun
Haiku # 61563, January 8, 2019 7:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When you are the best
The best part is the best smell
That comes from your farts
Haiku # 61562, January 8, 2019 7:01 am ET
by Sniffy
Pizza is my friend
Circle triangle yum yum
Chomp chomp fart fart fart
Haiku # 61561, January 8, 2019 5:35 am ET
by Greasy Pete of Poop pants
Appreciation
Couldn't they show it just once
No. Shit in their soup.
Haiku # 61560, January 8, 2019 5:29 am ET
by Alice of Brady Residence
He farted toothpaste
Freak of nature. Minty Fresh.
Smelly Cavity
Haiku # 61559, January 8, 2019 4:22 am ET
by Fangtooth
Kimono Bad stain
Ancient Japanese Secret
Use toilet paper
Haiku # 61558, January 8, 2019 4:20 am ET
by Kaka PooPoo of Terlit
Vagina Sniffer
The pay stinks. the cunt stinks too
Nose to the grindstone
Haiku # 61557, January 8, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Jack Off of Box
Potato hard on
Ejaculating Spud
Potato stick spew
Haiku # 61556, January 8, 2019 4:15 am ET
by Vegetables are gross
Everlasting Fart
Dense cloud hovering, drone like
Mission Accomplished
Haiku # 61555, January 8, 2019 4:13 am ET
by E. mission of In the air tonight
Crumble stale Cheeto
Defective and past shelf life
Bloated, racist pig
Haiku # 61554, January 8, 2019 12:32 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here lies Swollen Gland
Buried with his dick in hand
Death Boner unplanned
Haiku # 61553, January 7, 2019 7:28 pm ET
by Life is weird of Smegmatery
Only Indians
are truly spiritual.
We white men are not.
Haiku # 61552, January 7, 2019 7:27 pm ET
by Professional Indian-Lover of the Vavished West
Standing on the corpse
Activated ding dong nerve
Funeral postponed
Haiku # 61551, January 7, 2019 7:21 pm ET
by Couldn
Shogun of hung low
Lost his danoinks with one blow
From the Blunderbuss
Haiku # 61550, January 7, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by Gun Shy
I stand on your corpse.
I write Haiku epitaphs.
Your cadaver grins.
Haiku # 61549, January 7, 2019 5:17 pm ET
by Haiku of Death
Deranged by Donald
It's now a global symptom:
orange harbinger...
Haiku # 61548, January 7, 2019 10:33 am ET
by Gibbering Multitudes of Leftard Mobs
Lord Cheeto rises,
shining, resplendent, orange.
Bow ye before him.
Haiku # 61547, January 7, 2019 10:30 am ET
by Another whiny Lib of Trump Derangement Syndrome
Oh such Haiku crimes;
defiling a pristine form.
Basho-san vomits
Haiku # 61546, January 7, 2019 9:50 am ET
by Shogun of Gun Show
Ok, so I lied
The moment you fell asleep
I took out my knife
Haiku # 61545, January 7, 2019 4:33 am ET
by Liar
I'll watch over you
All night while you're sleeping, friend
I won't touch your dink
Haiku # 61544, January 7, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Promise
In the Instant Pot
The severed head of Braydon
The Target Cashier
Haiku # 61543, January 7, 2019 3:52 am ET
by BraydenJaydencaydenGreydon of Asinine names
Police at your door
Invest in a pet grizzly
Glaze doughnuts with bleach
Haiku # 61542, January 7, 2019 3:46 am ET
by Pig Puncher
Clean Asshole Award
I would win that. Hands down(pants)
Fingernails B. Brown
Haiku # 61541, January 6, 2019 6:49 pm ET
by Digger
Holey Communion
Saw the priest's dink hanging out
Get a sewing kit!
Haiku # 61540, January 6, 2019 6:45 pm ET
by Sunday Churchgoer of Church
Dead Reawaken
They moonwalk and twerk. So evil!
Turn off the music
Haiku # 61539, January 6, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Had it of Up to here
Something in the air
Artisan cheese. Midget owned.
Fromunda their balls.
Haiku # 61538, January 6, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by Mindya of Business
Starkitten had wit.
Darth Figpucker stinks of shit.
The dude from Maine split (?)
Haiku # 61537, January 6, 2019 3:38 pm ET
by Starpucker Figkitten
GOVERNMENT SHUT-DOWN!
I'm so frightened. God I'm scared.
Lord Cheeto, help us.
Haiku # 61536, January 6, 2019 3:34 pm ET
by Cowering Minions of Lord Cheeto of Orange
Home Economics
I
Haiku # 61535, January 6, 2019 3:12 pm ET
by Sofa King (Handsome) of Living Room
Bright lights of spring:
nothing to do. But darn, dad
deep throat your OWN socks...
Haiku # 61534, January 6, 2019 12:59 pm ET
by Foot Fetish of Librarians
Dark nights of winter
Nothing to do but darn socks
And deep throat your Dad
Haiku # 61533, January 6, 2019 2:30 am ET
by Longing for Spring
Is Starkitten real?
A librarian? Really?
I never knew that
Haiku # 61532, January 5, 2019 10:21 pm ET
by Tweety
Greasy big old balls
No, I don't want to touch them
They really stink bad
Haiku # 61531, January 5, 2019 8:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm a fig picker
Got sticky brown fingernails
I pick the best figs
Haiku # 61530, January 5, 2019 11:40 am ET
by Figpicker
Numerology
Sitting on the toilet:2
Edge of the bed:69
Haiku # 61529, January 5, 2019 11:32 am ET
by Human Calculator
I'll never win it
The Clean Fingernails Award
I pick my asshole
Haiku # 61528, January 5, 2019 11:19 am ET
by Fudgy
Syllable Sybil
All my personalities
Damn, they're all poets
Haiku # 61527, January 5, 2019 11:17 am ET
by Cephalapoet
Honshu Librarian
Please don't shush me this morning
Bad sushi farts today
Haiku # 61526, January 5, 2019 11:11 am ET
by Patron of Methane to my madness
Compulsive this is.
Type and type and type and type.
say hi to Yoda
Haiku # 61525, January 5, 2019 9:58 am ET
by Death to Haiku
Back to Genesis
(as in P-orridge). That thing
is so pathetic.
Haiku # 61524, January 5, 2019 9:56 am ET
by Genderless Pronouns of Genesis Psychic TV
What the hell became
of that crazed librarian
name of StarKitten?
Haiku # 61523, January 5, 2019 9:12 am ET
by Multiple Personalities of Darth
REACT you bitches.
Type something NOW. Get moving,
reactionaries.
Haiku # 61522, January 5, 2019 9:08 am ET
by Ephemeral Loveliness of Haiku
Seriously what
is wrong with the Japanese?
They need Jesus Christ !
Haiku # 61521, January 5, 2019 8:58 am ET
by Jesus of Nazareth TRUMP 20/20 Vision
They did deserve it.
Both Fat Man and Little boy.
I'm part Jap. Eat me.
Haiku # 61520, January 5, 2019 8:56 am ET
by Glorious Burst of One Thousand Eastern Suns
Kamikaze beer
wriggling tentacle skewered
Hell: Japanese bar
Haiku # 61519, January 5, 2019 8:51 am ET
by Kirin Asahi of Sapporo Extra DRY
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