BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
131 Days
and
63131 Haikus
later...
Survival Food Kit
One fat mama cass sandwich
With a moistmaker
Haiku #61564, by Prepared
January 8, 2019 7:20 am ET

Old cunt lips flapping
Mud flaps on grandad's pickup
Grandma rides shotgun
Haiku #61563, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 7:06 am ET

When you are the best
The best part is the best smell
That comes from your farts
Haiku #61562, by Sniffy
January 8, 2019 7:01 am ET

Pizza is my friend
Circle triangle yum yum
Chomp chomp fart fart fart
Haiku #61561, by Greasy Pete of Poop pants
January 8, 2019 5:35 am ET

Appreciation
Couldn't they show it just once
No. Shit in their soup.
Haiku #61560, by Alice of Brady Residence
January 8, 2019 5:29 am ET

He farted toothpaste
Freak of nature. Minty Fresh.
Smelly Cavity
Haiku #61559, by Fangtooth
January 8, 2019 4:22 am ET

Kimono Bad stain
Ancient Japanese Secret
Use toilet paper
Haiku #61558, by Kaka PooPoo of Terlit
January 8, 2019 4:20 am ET

Vagina Sniffer
The pay stinks. the cunt stinks too
Nose to the grindstone
Haiku #61557, by Jack Off of Box
January 8, 2019 4:18 am ET

Potato hard on
Ejaculating Spud
Potato stick spew
Haiku #61556, by Vegetables are gross
January 8, 2019 4:15 am ET

Everlasting Fart
Dense cloud hovering, drone like
Mission Accomplished
Haiku #61555, by E. mission of In the air tonight
January 8, 2019 4:13 am ET

Crumble stale Cheeto
Defective and past shelf life
Bloated, racist pig
Haiku #61554, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 12:32 am ET

Here lies Swollen Gland
Buried with his dick in hand
Death Boner unplanned
Haiku #61553, by Life is weird of Smegmatery
January 7, 2019 7:28 pm ET

Only Indians
are truly spiritual.
We white men are not.
Haiku #61552, by Professional Indian-Lover of the Vavished West
January 7, 2019 7:27 pm ET

Standing on the corpse
Activated ding dong nerve
Funeral postponed
Haiku #61551, by Couldn
January 7, 2019 7:21 pm ET

Shogun of hung low
Lost his danoinks with one blow
From the Blunderbuss
Haiku #61550, by Gun Shy
January 7, 2019 7:18 pm ET

I stand on your corpse.
I write Haiku epitaphs.
Your cadaver grins.
Haiku #61549, by Haiku of Death
January 7, 2019 5:17 pm ET

Deranged by Donald
It's now a global symptom:
orange harbinger...
Haiku #61548, by Gibbering Multitudes of Leftard Mobs
January 7, 2019 10:33 am ET

Lord Cheeto rises,
shining, resplendent, orange.
Bow ye before him.
Haiku #61547, by Another whiny Lib of Trump Derangement Syndrome
January 7, 2019 10:30 am ET

Oh such Haiku crimes;
defiling a pristine form.
Basho-san vomits
Haiku #61546, by Shogun of Gun Show
January 7, 2019 9:50 am ET

Ok, so I lied
The moment you fell asleep
I took out my knife
Haiku #61545, by Liar
January 7, 2019 4:33 am ET

I'll watch over you
All night while you're sleeping, friend
I won't touch your dink
Haiku #61544, by Promise
January 7, 2019 4:18 am ET

In the Instant Pot
The severed head of Braydon
The Target Cashier
Haiku #61543, by BraydenJaydencaydenGreydon of Asinine names
January 7, 2019 3:52 am ET

Police at your door
Invest in a pet grizzly
Glaze doughnuts with bleach
Haiku #61542, by Pig Puncher
January 7, 2019 3:46 am ET

Clean Asshole Award
I would win that. Hands down(pants)
Fingernails B. Brown
Haiku #61541, by Digger
January 6, 2019 6:49 pm ET

Holey Communion
Saw the priest's dink hanging out
Get a sewing kit!
Haiku #61540, by Sunday Churchgoer of Church
January 6, 2019 6:45 pm ET

Dead Reawaken
They moonwalk and twerk. So evil!
Turn off the music
Haiku #61539, by Had it of Up to here
January 6, 2019 5:24 pm ET

Something in the air
Artisan cheese. Midget owned.
Fromunda their balls.
Haiku #61538, by Mindya of Business
January 6, 2019 5:20 pm ET

Starkitten had wit.
Darth Figpucker stinks of shit.
The dude from Maine split (?)
Haiku #61537, by Starpucker Figkitten
January 6, 2019 3:38 pm ET

GOVERNMENT SHUT-DOWN!
I'm so frightened. God I'm scared.
Lord Cheeto, help us.
Haiku #61536, by Cowering Minions of Lord Cheeto of Orange
January 6, 2019 3:34 pm ET

Home Economics
I
Haiku #61535, by Sofa King (Handsome) of Living Room
January 6, 2019 3:12 pm ET

Bright lights of spring:
nothing to do. But darn, dad
deep throat your OWN socks...
Haiku #61534, by Foot Fetish of Librarians
January 6, 2019 12:59 pm ET

Dark nights of winter
Nothing to do but darn socks
And deep throat your Dad
Haiku #61533, by Longing for Spring
January 6, 2019 2:30 am ET

Is Starkitten real?
A librarian? Really?
I never knew that
Haiku #61532, by Tweety
January 5, 2019 10:21 pm ET

Greasy big old balls
No, I don't want to touch them
They really stink bad
Haiku #61531, by Anonymous Poet
January 5, 2019 8:17 pm ET

I'm a fig picker
Got sticky brown fingernails
I pick the best figs
Haiku #61530, by Figpicker
January 5, 2019 11:40 am ET

Numerology
Sitting on the toilet:2
Edge of the bed:69
Haiku #61529, by Human Calculator
January 5, 2019 11:32 am ET

I'll never win it
The Clean Fingernails Award
I pick my asshole
Haiku #61528, by Fudgy
January 5, 2019 11:19 am ET

Syllable Sybil
All my personalities
Damn, they're all poets
Haiku #61527, by Cephalapoet
January 5, 2019 11:17 am ET

Honshu Librarian
Please don't shush me this morning
Bad sushi farts today
Haiku #61526, by Patron of Methane to my madness
January 5, 2019 11:11 am ET

Compulsive this is.
Type and type and type and type.
say hi to Yoda
Haiku #61525, by Death to Haiku
January 5, 2019 9:58 am ET

Back to Genesis
(as in P-orridge). That thing
is so pathetic.
Haiku #61524, by Genderless Pronouns of Genesis Psychic TV
January 5, 2019 9:56 am ET

What the hell became
of that crazed librarian
name of StarKitten?
Haiku #61523, by Multiple Personalities of Darth
January 5, 2019 9:12 am ET

REACT you bitches.
Type something NOW. Get moving,
reactionaries.
Haiku #61522, by Ephemeral Loveliness of Haiku
January 5, 2019 9:08 am ET

Seriously what
is wrong with the Japanese?
They need Jesus Christ !
Haiku #61521, by Jesus of Nazareth TRUMP 20/20 Vision
January 5, 2019 8:58 am ET

They did deserve it.
Both Fat Man and Little boy.
I'm part Jap. Eat me.
Haiku #61520, by Glorious Burst of One Thousand Eastern Suns
January 5, 2019 8:56 am ET

Kamikaze beer
wriggling tentacle skewered
Hell: Japanese bar
Haiku #61519, by Kirin Asahi of Sapporo Extra DRY
January 5, 2019 8:51 am ET

Shoppingu-sentah
Aisu-krimu sandu-witch
Robotic Gul-friend
Haiku #61518, by Jap App for Android
January 5, 2019 8:49 am ET

Haiku lifts our souls
to views beyond the village:
distant Fuji. (FART)
Haiku #61517, by Some dumbass Jap wearing a unicorn costume made of pink polyester waving a little flag around on YouTube
January 5, 2019 8:45 am ET

Oh, for poetry
that sings of skidmarks and farts
Write on, Figpucker
Haiku #61516, by Darth F's haiku intervention squad of Freudian Regression
January 5, 2019 8:41 am ET

What not to wear, dude
Loose wrinkled beige kimono
Kimono? I'm nude!
Haiku #61515, by Laughs are Free
January 5, 2019 5:59 am ET