Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

I'll watch over you
All night while you're sleeping, friend
I won't touch your dink
Haiku # 61544, January 7, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Promise
In the Instant Pot
The severed head of Braydon
The Target Cashier
Haiku # 61543, January 7, 2019 3:52 am ET
by BraydenJaydencaydenGreydon of Asinine names
Police at your door
Invest in a pet grizzly
Glaze doughnuts with bleach
Haiku # 61542, January 7, 2019 3:46 am ET
by Pig Puncher
Clean Asshole Award
I would win that. Hands down(pants)
Fingernails B. Brown
Haiku # 61541, January 6, 2019 6:49 pm ET
by Digger
Holey Communion
Saw the priest's dink hanging out
Get a sewing kit!
Haiku # 61540, January 6, 2019 6:45 pm ET
by Sunday Churchgoer of Church
Dead Reawaken
They moonwalk and twerk. So evil!
Turn off the music
Haiku # 61539, January 6, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Had it of Up to here
Something in the air
Artisan cheese. Midget owned.
Fromunda their balls.
Haiku # 61538, January 6, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by Mindya of Business
Starkitten had wit.
Darth Figpucker stinks of shit.
The dude from Maine split (?)
Haiku # 61537, January 6, 2019 3:38 pm ET
by Starpucker Figkitten
GOVERNMENT SHUT-DOWN!
I'm so frightened. God I'm scared.
Lord Cheeto, help us.
Haiku # 61536, January 6, 2019 3:34 pm ET
by Cowering Minions of Lord Cheeto of Orange
Home Economics
I
Haiku # 61535, January 6, 2019 3:12 pm ET
by Sofa King (Handsome) of Living Room
Bright lights of spring:
nothing to do. But darn, dad
deep throat your OWN socks...
Haiku # 61534, January 6, 2019 12:59 pm ET
by Foot Fetish of Librarians
Dark nights of winter
Nothing to do but darn socks
And deep throat your Dad
Haiku # 61533, January 6, 2019 2:30 am ET
by Longing for Spring
Is Starkitten real?
A librarian? Really?
I never knew that
Haiku # 61532, January 5, 2019 10:21 pm ET
by Tweety
Greasy big old balls
No, I don't want to touch them
They really stink bad
Haiku # 61531, January 5, 2019 8:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm a fig picker
Got sticky brown fingernails
I pick the best figs
Haiku # 61530, January 5, 2019 11:40 am ET
by Figpicker
Numerology
Sitting on the toilet:2
Edge of the bed:69
Haiku # 61529, January 5, 2019 11:32 am ET
by Human Calculator
I'll never win it
The Clean Fingernails Award
I pick my asshole
Haiku # 61528, January 5, 2019 11:19 am ET
by Fudgy
Syllable Sybil
All my personalities
Damn, they're all poets
Haiku # 61527, January 5, 2019 11:17 am ET
by Cephalapoet
Honshu Librarian
Please don't shush me this morning
Bad sushi farts today
Haiku # 61526, January 5, 2019 11:11 am ET
by Patron of Methane to my madness
Compulsive this is.
Type and type and type and type.
say hi to Yoda
Haiku # 61525, January 5, 2019 9:58 am ET
by Death to Haiku
Back to Genesis
(as in P-orridge). That thing
is so pathetic.
Haiku # 61524, January 5, 2019 9:56 am ET
by Genderless Pronouns of Genesis Psychic TV
What the hell became
of that crazed librarian
name of StarKitten?
Haiku # 61523, January 5, 2019 9:12 am ET
by Multiple Personalities of Darth
REACT you bitches.
Type something NOW. Get moving,
reactionaries.
Haiku # 61522, January 5, 2019 9:08 am ET
by Ephemeral Loveliness of Haiku
Seriously what
is wrong with the Japanese?
They need Jesus Christ !
Haiku # 61521, January 5, 2019 8:58 am ET
by Jesus of Nazareth TRUMP 20/20 Vision
They did deserve it.
Both Fat Man and Little boy.
I'm part Jap. Eat me.
Haiku # 61520, January 5, 2019 8:56 am ET
by Glorious Burst of One Thousand Eastern Suns
Kamikaze beer
wriggling tentacle skewered
Hell: Japanese bar
Haiku # 61519, January 5, 2019 8:51 am ET
by Kirin Asahi of Sapporo Extra DRY
Shoppingu-sentah
Aisu-krimu sandu-witch
Robotic Gul-friend
Haiku # 61518, January 5, 2019 8:49 am ET
by Jap App for Android
Haiku lifts our souls
to views beyond the village:
distant Fuji. (FART)
Haiku # 61517, January 5, 2019 8:45 am ET
by Some dumbass Jap wearing a unicorn costume made of pink polyester waving a little flag around on YouTube
Oh, for poetry
that sings of skidmarks and farts
Write on, Figpucker
Haiku # 61516, January 5, 2019 8:41 am ET
by Darth F's haiku intervention squad of Freudian Regression
What not to wear, dude
Loose wrinkled beige kimono
Kimono? I'm nude!
Haiku # 61515, January 5, 2019 5:59 am ET
by Laughs are Free
Kangaroo dung pile
Oddly enough, dung has pouch
Containing more dung
Haiku # 61514, January 5, 2019 1:45 am ET
by God is Awesome
Frozen beard bristles
Oceanic Explosion
Arctic Iceberg Wank
Haiku # 61513, January 5, 2019 1:32 am ET
by Chewbacca of Greasy
Smelly deep knee bends
Consult your physician first
Low tide aerobics
Haiku # 61512, January 5, 2019 1:28 am ET
by Doc of the Bay of Wasting time
The old lady smell
Just like a slap in the face
At the fish market
Haiku # 61511, January 5, 2019 1:24 am ET
by Fishmonger of Trouser Trout
Washcloth on a stick
Reach around to scour my ass
My thoughts turn to you
Haiku # 61510, January 5, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Picture That
Salty human flesh
Stringy and mostly tasteless
Roll you in Panko

Look for the wet spot
But it
Haiku # 61509, January 5, 2019 1:05 am ET
by Foodie
Food was delivered
Foot Longpig Sandwiches
Ate UberEats guy
Haiku # 61508, January 5, 2019 1:02 am ET
by Crunchy penis
What if I told you
The secret to poetry
Lies in your own farts
Haiku # 61507, January 4, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Poet of Head in (fart) clouds
So your dick
Haiku # 61506, January 4, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
They
Haiku # 61505, January 4, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by Poopstain of On the run(s)
When the cops show up
Let out a big fart and run
Leave them in your dust
Haiku # 61504, January 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by Poopstain Bolt of On the run(s)
You just missed it, bud
Rank post holidays fart fest
A nose full of news
Haiku # 61503, January 4, 2019 8:43 pm ET
by Ima Fullogas of Creaky Porch
Yeah, we
Haiku # 61502, January 4, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by Entrepreneur Furrburger Queef of Business Luncheon
Starting a business
Similar to Amazon
But only sell farts
Haiku # 61501, January 4, 2019 8:38 pm ET
by Butt of Smelly Fartville
Temporarily
So don
Haiku # 61500, January 4, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by Jerk
I didn
Haiku # 61499, January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET
by Let the poets speak
Farts for currency
Who wants to be millionaires?
I didn
Haiku # 61498, January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET
by Poopstain of In your pants
Bankers will get theirs
when Lucifer gets his ass
handed to him (Hell).
Haiku # 61497, January 4, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Prince Alexandre Louis Philippe Marie Berthier of the House of Rothschild
He's the town pervert
But they pronounce it Pre Vert
I just call him Dad
Haiku # 61496, January 4, 2019 5:53 am ET
by Mr. Fritzl's daughter of Not in basement
Poconos Humpfest
Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge
Mount a lot of things
Haiku # 61495, January 4, 2019 5:39 am ET
by Jingle singer of Heart shaped Bathtub
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