Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Kim Il Sung send out
Most glad tiding of Christmas
From happy Pyongyang
Haiku # 61298, December 16, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by Benevolent All-Wise Leader of People's Proletarian Vanguard
Angelic voices:
The celestial choirs of God.
Darth responds. More shit.
Haiku # 61297, December 16, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by No escape now. Christmas songs of glorious Gospel surround you
Just call me Stink Floyd
Another brick in the wall
Shit them out for free

Feed me tacos, beans
Free building materials
Great Wall of Feces

Tourist attraction
My dung bricks will attract flies
Call me Frank Lloyd Wrong
Haiku # 61296, December 16, 2018 8:23 am ET
by Patent holder for Fecal Concrete of Brick Shithouse
"Waiting for the Worms."
Perfect Floyd song to poop to.
Careful with that Axe.
Haiku # 61295, December 16, 2018 6:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There are no poems.
Here there is only feces.
Acidic butt blasts.
Haiku # 61294, December 16, 2018 6:26 am ET
by Diarrhea filled Super Soaker Squirt Gun Bank Robbery
Ebola Cola.
The Refreshing Hemorrhage!
Butt geyser blood spray.
Haiku # 61293, December 16, 2018 6:20 am ET
by Carbonated hemoglobin goblin
Elf semen queef quaff
Yuletide cornhole in progress
Pop corn in your ass
Haiku # 61292, December 16, 2018 12:25 am ET
by Andy Griffith's member of Peeking around the corner
Bent over your work
Jaws clenched. Furrowed, sweaty brow
Beating off again
Haiku # 61291, December 16, 2018 12:23 am ET
by Your mother of Sow pen
Like the poetry
Diarrheal. Runs down leg
Embarrassing stains
Haiku # 61290, December 16, 2018 12:21 am ET
by Pig joker of Hog Choker
Ebeneezer Spooge
Hot Monastery Gang Bang
But buttered ball sack
Haiku # 61289, December 15, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by It of Monastery
I likes fried frog legs.
They don' taste like no chicken.
Das jus booshe, man.
Haiku # 61288, December 15, 2018 6:01 pm ET
by Figpucker's Cajun cousin, Pierre.
Merry Motherfucking Christmas
and an Orgasm Inducing New Years
to you and your entire family,
especially the children and old people.
All you Kwanzaa and Chanukah/Hanukkah
freaks can just drown in a oil tanker
filled with rum egg nog and elf semen.
I will be celebrating
"Drink My Neighbors Piss Day"
this year with roast dog and crispy
deep fried tape worms.
And on the following day I will be
visiting as many Catholic Churches
as possible to taint their holy water
with my taint sweat.
Haiku # 61287, December 15, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Oy vay!
TOO!!!!! TOO stiff to wipe!
Jesus Christ, dude, so don't wipe.
It's overrated.
Haiku # 61286, December 15, 2018 11:32 am ET
by
Thank you for wiping
I've got smelly arthritis
Arms to stiff to wipe
Haiku # 61285, December 15, 2018 7:15 am ET
by Wilma Butteverbeclean of Latrine
When they frogmarch him
And his roadkill comb over
Straight to the Slammer
Haiku # 61284, December 15, 2018 7:11 am ET
by Citizen of USA
Whose
Haiku # 61283, December 14, 2018 11:32 pm ET
by Whoozit of Starkitten
who's stains are those?
I think I know
His house is in the Phillipines, though
He will not see me here watching his pants fill up with flow (fecal)
Haiku # 61282, December 14, 2018 11:31 pm ET
by Robert Frostfucker of Starkitten's Yurt
The stains are well known.
There's nothing mysterious
about them at all.

Their circumference
directly proportional
to time on my ass.
Haiku # 61281, December 14, 2018 10:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You should boof my verse
to properly absorb it.
Shove it up your ass.

You're missing out with
olfactory absorption.
Fecal transplant fad.

You need some of my
dark side midichlorians
in your intestines.

Bend over and take
my vowels in your bowels.
The consonants too.
Haiku # 61280, December 14, 2018 6:58 pm ET
by df of incontinent consonants
Protractor in hand
Measuring something smelly
Mysterious stains
Haiku # 61279, December 14, 2018 6:52 pm ET
by Mathematical wizard of Study Hall
How to read Darth's verse:
Empty lungs.Shut eyes. Close mouth.
Inhale stench through nose.
Haiku # 61278, December 14, 2018 6:31 pm ET
by olfactory phylactery of limbic limbo
How to measure farts
One Mississippi, Two Mis..
Count until smell's gone
Haiku # 61277, December 14, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by +-4% margin of error of Downwind
Flat Stanley, you tool!
Peel you like Silly Putty
The Funny Papers
Haiku # 61276, December 14, 2018 4:40 pm ET
by Rollaboner of Woods behind the mall
Pewdiepie oopsie?
Not necessarily so
The media sucks
Haiku # 61275, December 14, 2018 3:49 pm ET
by Kokichi Ouma of under the hydraulic press
Oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink fart
Haiku # 61274, December 14, 2018 12:23 pm ET
by Pigfarter of Trough
Pavlov's dull response
salivate then ring my bell
your welcome to hell
Haiku # 61273, December 13, 2018 9:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That B.F. Skinner
was such a clever fellow
(conditionally)
Haiku # 61272, December 13, 2018 9:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Aquaman's hard cock
impregnated a dolphin
and three manatees.
Haiku # 61271, December 13, 2018 6:44 am ET
by
Bea Arthur's warm cunt
Golden sleeve dong hideaway
Hormones imbalanced
Haiku # 61270, December 13, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Schpunkhound
Personal Fart Churn
Yank yank yank just turn the crank
Large curdled butt curds
Haiku # 61269, December 13, 2018 4:53 am ET
by Maniacal Laughter
Nudist Colony
Have to make sure you wipe good
Or they will shun you
Haiku # 61268, December 13, 2018 4:50 am ET
by Poopstain
Um, no, not had them.
I am a gut parasite
What's it to ya, bud?
Haiku # 61267, December 13, 2018 4:47 am ET
by Wankward Q. Flagellum of Queefington Township
Have you ever had
intestinal parasites?
Worms or otherwise?
Haiku # 61266, December 13, 2018 3:33 am ET
by
Who writes these poems?
Where do they get their ideas?
I can't think up one
Haiku # 61265, December 13, 2018 2:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grandma's got a gun
So you better eat your pie
And get your chores done
Haiku # 61264, December 12, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by Grandma of Kitchen
Moist is moist. Moisture.
Moist is moist. Moisturizer.
Moist is moist. Moisten.
Haiku # 61263, December 12, 2018 11:52 pm ET
by Wet one
The results are in
Your ass stinks more than average
You can't sit with us
Haiku # 61262, December 12, 2018 10:57 pm ET
by Diners of Restaurant
Lone mountain goat spew
Chasing the cyclists. Full moon
National Forest

Bears drinking bike grease
Masturbating in bushes
Your tax dough at work
Haiku # 61261, December 12, 2018 10:54 pm ET
by Onlooker
Bending over now
Releasing menthane cargo
Fartmuscleworkout
Haiku # 61260, December 12, 2018 10:50 pm ET
by Pigfycker
Post-modern oceans:
poetry now lost at sea.
Muse overboard! (retch)
Haiku # 61259, December 12, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Outhouse bear attack
Only a matter of time
Til it happens, mate.
Haiku # 61258, December 12, 2018 6:41 am ET
by Expert
One lone mountain pine
Reflected in moonlight lake . . .
Darth takes a huge shit
Haiku # 61257, December 12, 2018 4:38 am ET
by meant to say "peristaltic" of Peristalsis
Chuck and Nancy show:
Talking shit in the White House.
Think words as feces . . .
Haiku # 61256, December 12, 2018 4:34 am ET
by Persitaltic Contractions of Elimination
It's Evidence Based
Results-Focused best practice:
Outcome-Driven shit.
Haiku # 61255, December 12, 2018 4:28 am ET
by professional objectives of objectionable perspectives
Where's the poetry?
Come on, sit on the toilet
Shit out a big Ode
Haiku # 61254, December 12, 2018 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
He
Haiku # 61253, December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Our prayers are answered
He
Haiku # 61252, December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Buddy Butt Brown of Stinkytown
Watching zit popping.
Satisfying YouTube vids.
Like cream puffs gone bad.

"Excremeditation of Recrudescence"

That's original.
All I can say is "Fuck yeah!"
Shit is what you'll get.

Life is only shit.
Poems are life's reflections.
Mirrors smeared with shit.

Write "You are special!"
on bathroom walls of Starbuck's
with fecal smearing.
Haiku # 61251, December 11, 2018 3:37 pm ET
by Go! Do it now! By orders of General Darth Figpucker, High Commander of Aesthetic Asault, 9th Level of Hell Battalion
Hey weird Uncle Darth-
Can you release more Haiku?
Put shit in them please.
Haiku # 61250, December 11, 2018 2:45 pm ET
by Excremeditation of Recrudescence
Think about it, k
The ark story. Kinda nuts.
Who believes that crap?
Haiku # 61249, December 11, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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