BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
157 Days
and
63977 Haikus
later...
Outhouse bear attack
Only a matter of time
Til it happens, mate.
Haiku #61258, by Expert
December 12, 2018 6:41 am ET

One lone mountain pine
Reflected in moonlight lake . . .
Darth takes a huge shit
Haiku #61257, by meant to say "peristaltic" of Peristalsis
December 12, 2018 4:38 am ET

Chuck and Nancy show:
Talking shit in the White House.
Think words as feces . . .
Haiku #61256, by Persitaltic Contractions of Elimination
December 12, 2018 4:34 am ET

It's Evidence Based
Results-Focused best practice:
Outcome-Driven shit.
Haiku #61255, by professional objectives of objectionable perspectives
December 12, 2018 4:28 am ET

Where's the poetry?
Come on, sit on the toilet
Shit out a big Ode
Haiku #61254, by Anonymous Poet
December 12, 2018 12:16 am ET

He
Haiku #61253, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET

Our prayers are answered
He
Haiku #61252, by Buddy Butt Brown of Stinkytown
December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET

Watching zit popping.
Satisfying YouTube vids.
Like cream puffs gone bad.

"Excremeditation of Recrudescence"

That's original.
All I can say is "Fuck yeah!"
Shit is what you'll get.

Life is only shit.
Poems are life's reflections.
Mirrors smeared with shit.

Write "You are special!"
on bathroom walls of Starbuck's
with fecal smearing.
Haiku #61251, by Go! Do it now! By orders of General Darth Figpucker, High Commander of Aesthetic Asault, 9th Level of Hell Battalion
December 11, 2018 3:37 pm ET

Hey weird Uncle Darth-
Can you release more Haiku?
Put shit in them please.
Haiku #61250, by Excremeditation of Recrudescence
December 11, 2018 2:45 pm ET

Think about it, k
The ark story. Kinda nuts.
Who believes that crap?
Haiku #61249, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2018 12:50 am ET

Be wary, very..
Dagger Toed Cassowary
That bird is scary
Haiku #61248, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2018 12:20 am ET

When it swallows you
Regurgitates your poems
Poops out a haiku
Haiku #61247, by Person of Nature
December 10, 2018 9:27 pm ET

Huge saltwater croc.
Eats alligators for snacks.
And, yes, poets too.
Haiku #61246, by Assqueef Ass of Cuntfart cunt's cousin (on mother's side).
December 10, 2018 7:45 pm ET

Create Haiku Here
Dare other so called poets
To attempt the art
Haiku #61245, by Poet of On high
December 10, 2018 4:50 pm ET

Alligator dink
Always erect. On a spring.
Did God think that up?
Haiku #61244, by God is Good of At weird shit
December 10, 2018 12:43 am ET

Oversized gator
I want you to be my friend
But you walk right by

I can't blame you though
Every time we've met, by chance
I have crapped my pants
Haiku #61243, by Scared
December 9, 2018 10:16 pm ET

The answer is yes.
Oversized alligators
exist, and you're high.

Perhaps try rehab.
You must quit boofing bath salts.
Eat gator gumbo.
Haiku #61242, by
December 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET

Night of the Grizzly
Wake up covered with scratches
Where is my honey?
Haiku #61241, by Hungry Bear
December 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET

Drink Worcestershire Sauce
It's good for what ails you, dude
Unwrap the flavor
Haiku #61240, by Lea and Perrins
December 9, 2018 8:14 pm ET

Do you believe them?
Oversized alligators
Florida golf course

Photoshop, no?
Or am I high on bath salts?
Need to know the Truth
Haiku #61239, by Confused
December 9, 2018 8:12 pm ET

Dumb Amerikans:
You must start writing Haiku.
Future waits on you.
Haiku #61238, by put that in yr smite and poke it.
December 9, 2018 3:52 pm ET

Fa La La La La
La La La La. Hark the
Haiku angels sing . . .
Haiku #61237, by Anonymous Poet
December 9, 2018 2:02 pm ET

Uh huh uh huh yup
Uh huh uh huh yup uh huh
Uh huh uh huh yup
Haiku #61236, by Uh huh
December 8, 2018 8:50 pm ET

You just don't get it
The best poetry is farts
You gone daddy-o
Haiku #61235, by Pffffffft
December 8, 2018 12:46 am ET

John Boy Walton's mole's
Enormous erect penis
Rising from the South
Haiku #61234, by Nothing else Rising Down South of North
December 7, 2018 5:16 pm ET

Hey Macron, you cuck
Ready for your global gig?
Saturday is here.
Haiku #61233, by Contre Nous de la Tyrannie of Death to Globalism
December 7, 2018 4:22 pm ET

Skynard: "Oooh that smell"
(South's gonnna rise agin, bro)
Get gas-masks ready !
Haiku #61232, by Suthern ROCK methane inspection team 666
December 7, 2018 3:17 pm ET

Elevator Ride
Standing sardines. Release of gas.
The world's oldest trick
Haiku #61231, by You better believe it of Elevator
December 7, 2018 3:11 pm ET

God made them like "dinks"
so you could write a poem.
That's His love for you.
Haiku #61230, by
December 7, 2018 1:38 pm ET

first time I saw one
I tried to peel it open
Like a banana

Or like shucking corn
Or molesting a scarecrow
With a broom handle
Haiku #61229, by Off the Grid
December 7, 2018 6:03 am ET

Sleeping in a tent
Wise to eat beans every night
Better than bear spray
Haiku #61228, by Windy of Tent
December 7, 2018 4:09 am ET

Hey all you fun guys
When GOD created mushrooms
Why make them like dinks?
Haiku #61227, by I need to know
December 7, 2018 4:03 am ET

* Thwack may or may not be Edie Brickell
Haiku #61226, by Anonymous Poet
December 7, 2018 12:57 am ET

Famous movie line
We still have Paristalsis..
Evidence in pants
Haiku #61225, by G. Shalit - Hal = G. Shit of Rest Room
December 7, 2018 12:55 am ET

Forget frying pans
Those are for cooking breakfast
And husband control
Haiku #61224, by Thwack
December 7, 2018 12:52 am ET

If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku #61223, by Bears Repeating
December 7, 2018 12:51 am ET

If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku #61222, by Does the bear shit in the woods? of Dunno, but I do
December 7, 2018 12:50 am ET

Now just imagine it
Virtual Reality
While you take a shit
Haiku #61221, by Buy more crap of Crap Store
December 7, 2018 12:47 am ET

He likes to floor it
So don't let the name fool you
Vrooooooooooooooom! Carefree Highway
Haiku #61220, by SK
December 6, 2018 9:42 pm ET

Yes, prefer Lightfoot
to fecal-filth overload.
Verse should rise above . . .
Haiku #61219, by Digestive Contractions of Peristalsis
December 6, 2018 9:06 pm ET

Taking up knitting
So Gordon Lightfoot can watch
Meow, Knit one, PURR-l two.
Haiku #61218, by Starkitten of Knitting
December 6, 2018 8:41 pm ET

That's me. You know it.
Tap dancing on your sidewalk.
I will never stop!
Haiku #61217, by Not lost in the shuffle
December 6, 2018 6:51 pm ET

Darth speaks through anus
His verse reverts to poop-filth
Smeared all over. Sigh.
Haiku #61216, by Anonymous Poet
December 6, 2018 4:19 pm ET

Bought Grandpa's present
Werther's truck backing up now
Oh yeah, and some lube
Haiku #61215, by Kinfolk
December 6, 2018 7:55 am ET

Wishing for weasels
Please please please bring me weasels
Please, weasels this year
Haiku #61214, by Good person
December 6, 2018 7:53 am ET

Haiku writer's cramp
Pain in the anal region
Poop out a poem
Haiku #61213, by Anonymous Poet
December 6, 2018 7:51 am ET

Plastic Christmas Tree
Comes with free Chinese person
Factory Escape
Haiku #61212, by Buy more Junk of Junkpile
December 6, 2018 7:46 am ET

Eggnog enema
Run to the birdbath bidet
Snowman got hemorrhoids
Haiku #61211, by Fang Tooth
December 6, 2018 5:11 am ET

Family Tradition
We wiped with the Sears Wish Book
Why the iPad's brown
Haiku #61210, by Family member of Home
December 6, 2018 5:07 am ET

Hunched on my front lawn
Is that a drunk throwing up!?
Santa shitting.
Haiku #61209, by Fudgemakers of Elf City
December 6, 2018 5:04 am ET