Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

When it swallows you
Regurgitates your poems
Poops out a haiku
Haiku # 61247, December 10, 2018 9:27 pm ET
by Person of Nature
Huge saltwater croc.
Eats alligators for snacks.
And, yes, poets too.
Haiku # 61246, December 10, 2018 7:45 pm ET
by Assqueef Ass of Cuntfart cunt's cousin (on mother's side).
Create Haiku Here
Dare other so called poets
To attempt the art
Haiku # 61245, December 10, 2018 4:50 pm ET
by Poet of On high
Alligator dink
Always erect. On a spring.
Did God think that up?
Haiku # 61244, December 10, 2018 12:43 am ET
by God is Good of At weird shit
Oversized gator
I want you to be my friend
But you walk right by

I can't blame you though
Every time we've met, by chance
I have crapped my pants
Haiku # 61243, December 9, 2018 10:16 pm ET
by Scared
The answer is yes.
Oversized alligators
exist, and you're high.

Perhaps try rehab.
You must quit boofing bath salts.
Eat gator gumbo.
Haiku # 61242, December 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by
Night of the Grizzly
Wake up covered with scratches
Where is my honey?
Haiku # 61241, December 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET
by Hungry Bear
Drink Worcestershire Sauce
It's good for what ails you, dude
Unwrap the flavor
Haiku # 61240, December 9, 2018 8:14 pm ET
by Lea and Perrins
Do you believe them?
Oversized alligators
Florida golf course

Photoshop, no?
Or am I high on bath salts?
Need to know the Truth
Haiku # 61239, December 9, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by Confused
Dumb Amerikans:
You must start writing Haiku.
Future waits on you.
Haiku # 61238, December 9, 2018 3:52 pm ET
by put that in yr smite and poke it.
Fa La La La La
La La La La. Hark the
Haiku angels sing . . .
Haiku # 61237, December 9, 2018 2:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Uh huh uh huh yup
Uh huh uh huh yup uh huh
Uh huh uh huh yup
Haiku # 61236, December 8, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by Uh huh
You just don't get it
The best poetry is farts
You gone daddy-o
Haiku # 61235, December 8, 2018 12:46 am ET
by Pffffffft
John Boy Walton's mole's
Enormous erect penis
Rising from the South
Haiku # 61234, December 7, 2018 5:16 pm ET
by Nothing else Rising Down South of North
Hey Macron, you cuck
Ready for your global gig?
Saturday is here.
Haiku # 61233, December 7, 2018 4:22 pm ET
by Contre Nous de la Tyrannie of Death to Globalism
Skynard: "Oooh that smell"
(South's gonnna rise agin, bro)
Get gas-masks ready !
Haiku # 61232, December 7, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by Suthern ROCK methane inspection team 666
Elevator Ride
Standing sardines. Release of gas.
The world's oldest trick
Haiku # 61231, December 7, 2018 3:11 pm ET
by You better believe it of Elevator
God made them like "dinks"
so you could write a poem.
That's His love for you.
Haiku # 61230, December 7, 2018 1:38 pm ET
by
first time I saw one
I tried to peel it open
Like a banana

Or like shucking corn
Or molesting a scarecrow
With a broom handle
Haiku # 61229, December 7, 2018 6:03 am ET
by Off the Grid
Sleeping in a tent
Wise to eat beans every night
Better than bear spray
Haiku # 61228, December 7, 2018 4:09 am ET
by Windy of Tent
Hey all you fun guys
When GOD created mushrooms
Why make them like dinks?
Haiku # 61227, December 7, 2018 4:03 am ET
by I need to know
* Thwack may or may not be Edie Brickell
Haiku # 61226, December 7, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Famous movie line
We still have Paristalsis..
Evidence in pants
Haiku # 61225, December 7, 2018 12:55 am ET
by G. Shalit - Hal = G. Shit of Rest Room
Forget frying pans
Those are for cooking breakfast
And husband control
Haiku # 61224, December 7, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Thwack
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61223, December 7, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Bears Repeating
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61222, December 7, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Does the bear shit in the woods? of Dunno, but I do
Now just imagine it
Virtual Reality
While you take a shit
Haiku # 61221, December 7, 2018 12:47 am ET
by Buy more crap of Crap Store
He likes to floor it
So don't let the name fool you
Vrooooooooooooooom! Carefree Highway
Haiku # 61220, December 6, 2018 9:42 pm ET
by SK
Yes, prefer Lightfoot
to fecal-filth overload.
Verse should rise above . . .
Haiku # 61219, December 6, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by Digestive Contractions of Peristalsis
Taking up knitting
So Gordon Lightfoot can watch
Meow, Knit one, PURR-l two.
Haiku # 61218, December 6, 2018 8:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Knitting
That's me. You know it.
Tap dancing on your sidewalk.
I will never stop!
Haiku # 61217, December 6, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by Not lost in the shuffle
Darth speaks through anus
His verse reverts to poop-filth
Smeared all over. Sigh.
Haiku # 61216, December 6, 2018 4:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bought Grandpa's present
Werther's truck backing up now
Oh yeah, and some lube
Haiku # 61215, December 6, 2018 7:55 am ET
by Kinfolk
Wishing for weasels
Please please please bring me weasels
Please, weasels this year
Haiku # 61214, December 6, 2018 7:53 am ET
by Good person
Haiku writer's cramp
Pain in the anal region
Poop out a poem
Haiku # 61213, December 6, 2018 7:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Plastic Christmas Tree
Comes with free Chinese person
Factory Escape
Haiku # 61212, December 6, 2018 7:46 am ET
by Buy more Junk of Junkpile
Eggnog enema
Run to the birdbath bidet
Snowman got hemorrhoids
Haiku # 61211, December 6, 2018 5:11 am ET
by Fang Tooth
Family Tradition
We wiped with the Sears Wish Book
Why the iPad's brown
Haiku # 61210, December 6, 2018 5:07 am ET
by Family member of Home
Hunched on my front lawn
Is that a drunk throwing up!?
Santa shitting.
Haiku # 61209, December 6, 2018 5:04 am ET
by Fudgemakers of Elf City
Bah Humbug, Poopstain!
I'll give you gift wrapped garbage
And a shrunken head
Haiku # 61208, December 6, 2018 4:58 am ET
by Secret Santa
Off in the distance
The farts of everyone else
Here on planet Earth
Haiku # 61207, December 6, 2018 4:56 am ET
by Sniffer of Earth
If Santa shows up
Jerking off on the sofa?
Here's your lump of coal
Haiku # 61206, December 6, 2018 4:53 am ET
by Radioactive Balls of Fukushima
Turtle head poking
Pull into the Shell station
Nothing. Just more gas.
Haiku # 61205, December 6, 2018 3:55 am ET
by Connie Stipated of Exit #2
McCephalopod
Review: Briney Aftertaste
Makes you shit eight times
Haiku # 61204, December 5, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Filet O Flush
What's the point of a
Goddamned plastic Christmas tree?
Hail Saturnalia!
Haiku # 61203, December 5, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by nAtuRal yuLeTide of nAzArEtH
Hurt yet, mes amis?
Should have voted for Le Pen,
silly French masses.
Haiku # 61202, December 5, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by Allons enfants de la Patrie Le jour de gloire est arrivé ! Contre nous de la tyrannie, L'étendard sanglant est le
A bird in the hand --
Sorry . . . a Bush in the grave
Worth two in White House
Haiku # 61201, December 5, 2018 9:23 am ET
by New World Odor of Decomposition
A bird in the hand
Haiku # 61200, December 5, 2018 9:21 am ET
by New World Odor of Putrefaction
Syllables, huh?
A Shitty Haiku? Fuck you.
Why the fuck not, hm?
Haiku # 61199, December 5, 2018 1:42 am ET
by Vector Based AssHat of Somewhere North Of The Equator
i wonder what you're
like to chat with...unleash you
on tumblrs...website...
Haiku # 61198, December 5, 2018 12:09 am ET
by vhs
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