Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

The answer is yes.
Oversized alligators
exist, and you're high.

Perhaps try rehab.
You must quit boofing bath salts.
Eat gator gumbo.
Haiku # 61242, December 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by
Night of the Grizzly
Wake up covered with scratches
Where is my honey?
Haiku # 61241, December 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET
by Hungry Bear
Drink Worcestershire Sauce
It's good for what ails you, dude
Unwrap the flavor
Haiku # 61240, December 9, 2018 8:14 pm ET
by Lea and Perrins
Do you believe them?
Oversized alligators
Florida golf course

Photoshop, no?
Or am I high on bath salts?
Need to know the Truth
Haiku # 61239, December 9, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by Confused
Dumb Amerikans:
You must start writing Haiku.
Future waits on you.
Haiku # 61238, December 9, 2018 3:52 pm ET
by put that in yr smite and poke it.
Fa La La La La
La La La La. Hark the
Haiku angels sing . . .
Haiku # 61237, December 9, 2018 2:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Uh huh uh huh yup
Uh huh uh huh yup uh huh
Uh huh uh huh yup
Haiku # 61236, December 8, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by Uh huh
You just don't get it
The best poetry is farts
You gone daddy-o
Haiku # 61235, December 8, 2018 12:46 am ET
by Pffffffft
John Boy Walton's mole's
Enormous erect penis
Rising from the South
Haiku # 61234, December 7, 2018 5:16 pm ET
by Nothing else Rising Down South of North
Hey Macron, you cuck
Ready for your global gig?
Saturday is here.
Haiku # 61233, December 7, 2018 4:22 pm ET
by Contre Nous de la Tyrannie of Death to Globalism
Skynard: "Oooh that smell"
(South's gonnna rise agin, bro)
Get gas-masks ready !
Haiku # 61232, December 7, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by Suthern ROCK methane inspection team 666
Elevator Ride
Standing sardines. Release of gas.
The world's oldest trick
Haiku # 61231, December 7, 2018 3:11 pm ET
by You better believe it of Elevator
God made them like "dinks"
so you could write a poem.
That's His love for you.
Haiku # 61230, December 7, 2018 1:38 pm ET
by
first time I saw one
I tried to peel it open
Like a banana

Or like shucking corn
Or molesting a scarecrow
With a broom handle
Haiku # 61229, December 7, 2018 6:03 am ET
by Off the Grid
Sleeping in a tent
Wise to eat beans every night
Better than bear spray
Haiku # 61228, December 7, 2018 4:09 am ET
by Windy of Tent
Hey all you fun guys
When GOD created mushrooms
Why make them like dinks?
Haiku # 61227, December 7, 2018 4:03 am ET
by I need to know
* Thwack may or may not be Edie Brickell
Haiku # 61226, December 7, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Famous movie line
We still have Paristalsis..
Evidence in pants
Haiku # 61225, December 7, 2018 12:55 am ET
by G. Shalit - Hal = G. Shit of Rest Room
Forget frying pans
Those are for cooking breakfast
And husband control
Haiku # 61224, December 7, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Thwack
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61223, December 7, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Bears Repeating
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61222, December 7, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Does the bear shit in the woods? of Dunno, but I do
Now just imagine it
Virtual Reality
While you take a shit
Haiku # 61221, December 7, 2018 12:47 am ET
by Buy more crap of Crap Store
He likes to floor it
So don't let the name fool you
Vrooooooooooooooom! Carefree Highway
Haiku # 61220, December 6, 2018 9:42 pm ET
by SK
Yes, prefer Lightfoot
to fecal-filth overload.
Verse should rise above . . .
Haiku # 61219, December 6, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by Digestive Contractions of Peristalsis
Taking up knitting
So Gordon Lightfoot can watch
Meow, Knit one, PURR-l two.
Haiku # 61218, December 6, 2018 8:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Knitting
That's me. You know it.
Tap dancing on your sidewalk.
I will never stop!
Haiku # 61217, December 6, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by Not lost in the shuffle
Darth speaks through anus
His verse reverts to poop-filth
Smeared all over. Sigh.
Haiku # 61216, December 6, 2018 4:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bought Grandpa's present
Werther's truck backing up now
Oh yeah, and some lube
Haiku # 61215, December 6, 2018 7:55 am ET
by Kinfolk
Wishing for weasels
Please please please bring me weasels
Please, weasels this year
Haiku # 61214, December 6, 2018 7:53 am ET
by Good person
Haiku writer's cramp
Pain in the anal region
Poop out a poem
Haiku # 61213, December 6, 2018 7:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Plastic Christmas Tree
Comes with free Chinese person
Factory Escape
Haiku # 61212, December 6, 2018 7:46 am ET
by Buy more Junk of Junkpile
Eggnog enema
Run to the birdbath bidet
Snowman got hemorrhoids
Haiku # 61211, December 6, 2018 5:11 am ET
by Fang Tooth
Family Tradition
We wiped with the Sears Wish Book
Why the iPad's brown
Haiku # 61210, December 6, 2018 5:07 am ET
by Family member of Home
Hunched on my front lawn
Is that a drunk throwing up!?
Santa shitting.
Haiku # 61209, December 6, 2018 5:04 am ET
by Fudgemakers of Elf City
Bah Humbug, Poopstain!
I'll give you gift wrapped garbage
And a shrunken head
Haiku # 61208, December 6, 2018 4:58 am ET
by Secret Santa
Off in the distance
The farts of everyone else
Here on planet Earth
Haiku # 61207, December 6, 2018 4:56 am ET
by Sniffer of Earth
If Santa shows up
Jerking off on the sofa?
Here's your lump of coal
Haiku # 61206, December 6, 2018 4:53 am ET
by Radioactive Balls of Fukushima
Turtle head poking
Pull into the Shell station
Nothing. Just more gas.
Haiku # 61205, December 6, 2018 3:55 am ET
by Connie Stipated of Exit #2
McCephalopod
Review: Briney Aftertaste
Makes you shit eight times
Haiku # 61204, December 5, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Filet O Flush
What's the point of a
Goddamned plastic Christmas tree?
Hail Saturnalia!
Haiku # 61203, December 5, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by nAtuRal yuLeTide of nAzArEtH
Hurt yet, mes amis?
Should have voted for Le Pen,
silly French masses.
Haiku # 61202, December 5, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by Allons enfants de la Patrie Le jour de gloire est arrivé ! Contre nous de la tyrannie, L'étendard sanglant est le
A bird in the hand --
Sorry . . . a Bush in the grave
Worth two in White House
Haiku # 61201, December 5, 2018 9:23 am ET
by New World Odor of Decomposition
A bird in the hand
Haiku # 61200, December 5, 2018 9:21 am ET
by New World Odor of Putrefaction
Syllables, huh?
A Shitty Haiku? Fuck you.
Why the fuck not, hm?
Haiku # 61199, December 5, 2018 1:42 am ET
by Vector Based AssHat of Somewhere North Of The Equator
i wonder what you're
like to chat with...unleash you
on tumblrs...website...
Haiku # 61198, December 5, 2018 12:09 am ET
by vhs
Sir, the choice is yours
Desert Death/Penis Ice Pick
The Iceman Cometh
Haiku # 61197, December 4, 2018 11:29 pm ET
by Last time
Because they are smart,
I will not eat octopi.
Future sentient.

Could be that one day
they'll be eating our offspring,
jests how gross we look.
Haiku # 61196, December 4, 2018 10:11 pm ET
by df
Better if they're live.
Live tentacles can choke you.
Swallow them and die.

Revenge of the squid.
Its ink will write your obit.
What a joke you'll be.
Haiku # 61195, December 4, 2018 10:06 pm ET
by df
Weird Japanese snack:
Grilled tentacle on a stick.
(Suckers for sea-food.)
Haiku # 61194, December 4, 2018 11:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't forget panties.
Worn panty vending machines.
Samurai offspring.
Haiku # 61193, December 4, 2018 1:36 am ET
by df
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