BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
157 Days
and
63978 Haikus
later...
Dumb Amerikans:
You must start writing Haiku.
Future waits on you.
Haiku #61238, by put that in yr smite and poke it.
December 9, 2018 3:52 pm ET

Fa La La La La
La La La La. Hark the
Haiku angels sing . . .
Haiku #61237, by Anonymous Poet
December 9, 2018 2:02 pm ET

Uh huh uh huh yup
Uh huh uh huh yup uh huh
Uh huh uh huh yup
Haiku #61236, by Uh huh
December 8, 2018 8:50 pm ET

You just don't get it
The best poetry is farts
You gone daddy-o
Haiku #61235, by Pffffffft
December 8, 2018 12:46 am ET

John Boy Walton's mole's
Enormous erect penis
Rising from the South
Haiku #61234, by Nothing else Rising Down South of North
December 7, 2018 5:16 pm ET

Hey Macron, you cuck
Ready for your global gig?
Saturday is here.
Haiku #61233, by Contre Nous de la Tyrannie of Death to Globalism
December 7, 2018 4:22 pm ET

Skynard: "Oooh that smell"
(South's gonnna rise agin, bro)
Get gas-masks ready !
Haiku #61232, by Suthern ROCK methane inspection team 666
December 7, 2018 3:17 pm ET

Elevator Ride
Standing sardines. Release of gas.
The world's oldest trick
Haiku #61231, by You better believe it of Elevator
December 7, 2018 3:11 pm ET

God made them like "dinks"
so you could write a poem.
That's His love for you.
Haiku #61230, by
December 7, 2018 1:38 pm ET

first time I saw one
I tried to peel it open
Like a banana

Or like shucking corn
Or molesting a scarecrow
With a broom handle
Haiku #61229, by Off the Grid
December 7, 2018 6:03 am ET

Sleeping in a tent
Wise to eat beans every night
Better than bear spray
Haiku #61228, by Windy of Tent
December 7, 2018 4:09 am ET

Hey all you fun guys
When GOD created mushrooms
Why make them like dinks?
Haiku #61227, by I need to know
December 7, 2018 4:03 am ET

* Thwack may or may not be Edie Brickell
Haiku #61226, by Anonymous Poet
December 7, 2018 12:57 am ET

Famous movie line
We still have Paristalsis..
Evidence in pants
Haiku #61225, by G. Shalit - Hal = G. Shit of Rest Room
December 7, 2018 12:55 am ET

Forget frying pans
Those are for cooking breakfast
And husband control
Haiku #61224, by Thwack
December 7, 2018 12:52 am ET

If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku #61223, by Bears Repeating
December 7, 2018 12:51 am ET

If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku #61222, by Does the bear shit in the woods? of Dunno, but I do
December 7, 2018 12:50 am ET

Now just imagine it
Virtual Reality
While you take a shit
Haiku #61221, by Buy more crap of Crap Store
December 7, 2018 12:47 am ET

He likes to floor it
So don't let the name fool you
Vrooooooooooooooom! Carefree Highway
Haiku #61220, by SK
December 6, 2018 9:42 pm ET

Yes, prefer Lightfoot
to fecal-filth overload.
Verse should rise above . . .
Haiku #61219, by Digestive Contractions of Peristalsis
December 6, 2018 9:06 pm ET

Taking up knitting
So Gordon Lightfoot can watch
Meow, Knit one, PURR-l two.
Haiku #61218, by Starkitten of Knitting
December 6, 2018 8:41 pm ET

That's me. You know it.
Tap dancing on your sidewalk.
I will never stop!
Haiku #61217, by Not lost in the shuffle
December 6, 2018 6:51 pm ET

Darth speaks through anus
His verse reverts to poop-filth
Smeared all over. Sigh.
Haiku #61216, by Anonymous Poet
December 6, 2018 4:19 pm ET

Bought Grandpa's present
Werther's truck backing up now
Oh yeah, and some lube
Haiku #61215, by Kinfolk
December 6, 2018 7:55 am ET

Wishing for weasels
Please please please bring me weasels
Please, weasels this year
Haiku #61214, by Good person
December 6, 2018 7:53 am ET

Haiku writer's cramp
Pain in the anal region
Poop out a poem
Haiku #61213, by Anonymous Poet
December 6, 2018 7:51 am ET

Plastic Christmas Tree
Comes with free Chinese person
Factory Escape
Haiku #61212, by Buy more Junk of Junkpile
December 6, 2018 7:46 am ET

Eggnog enema
Run to the birdbath bidet
Snowman got hemorrhoids
Haiku #61211, by Fang Tooth
December 6, 2018 5:11 am ET

Family Tradition
We wiped with the Sears Wish Book
Why the iPad's brown
Haiku #61210, by Family member of Home
December 6, 2018 5:07 am ET

Hunched on my front lawn
Is that a drunk throwing up!?
Santa shitting.
Haiku #61209, by Fudgemakers of Elf City
December 6, 2018 5:04 am ET

Bah Humbug, Poopstain!
I'll give you gift wrapped garbage
And a shrunken head
Haiku #61208, by Secret Santa
December 6, 2018 4:58 am ET

Off in the distance
The farts of everyone else
Here on planet Earth
Haiku #61207, by Sniffer of Earth
December 6, 2018 4:56 am ET

If Santa shows up
Jerking off on the sofa?
Here's your lump of coal
Haiku #61206, by Radioactive Balls of Fukushima
December 6, 2018 4:53 am ET

Turtle head poking
Pull into the Shell station
Nothing. Just more gas.
Haiku #61205, by Connie Stipated of Exit #2
December 6, 2018 3:55 am ET

McCephalopod
Review: Briney Aftertaste
Makes you shit eight times
Haiku #61204, by Filet O Flush
December 5, 2018 11:01 pm ET

What's the point of a
Goddamned plastic Christmas tree?
Hail Saturnalia!
Haiku #61203, by nAtuRal yuLeTide of nAzArEtH
December 5, 2018 5:36 pm ET

Hurt yet, mes amis?
Should have voted for Le Pen,
silly French masses.
Haiku #61202, by Allons enfants de la Patrie Le jour de gloire est arrivé ! Contre nous de la tyrannie, L'étendard sanglant est le
December 5, 2018 4:54 pm ET

A bird in the hand --
Sorry . . . a Bush in the grave
Worth two in White House
Haiku #61201, by New World Odor of Decomposition
December 5, 2018 9:23 am ET

A bird in the hand
Haiku #61200, by New World Odor of Putrefaction
December 5, 2018 9:21 am ET

Syllables, huh?
A Shitty Haiku? Fuck you.
Why the fuck not, hm?
Haiku #61199, by Vector Based AssHat of Somewhere North Of The Equator
December 5, 2018 1:42 am ET

i wonder what you're
like to chat with...unleash you
on tumblrs...website...
Haiku #61198, by vhs
December 5, 2018 12:09 am ET

Sir, the choice is yours
Desert Death/Penis Ice Pick
The Iceman Cometh
Haiku #61197, by Last time
December 4, 2018 11:29 pm ET

Because they are smart,
I will not eat octopi.
Future sentient.

Could be that one day
they'll be eating our offspring,
jests how gross we look.
Haiku #61196, by df
December 4, 2018 10:11 pm ET

Better if they're live.
Live tentacles can choke you.
Swallow them and die.

Revenge of the squid.
Its ink will write your obit.
What a joke you'll be.
Haiku #61195, by df
December 4, 2018 10:06 pm ET

Weird Japanese snack:
Grilled tentacle on a stick.
(Suckers for sea-food.)
Haiku #61194, by Anonymous Poet
December 4, 2018 11:12 am ET

Don't forget panties.
Worn panty vending machines.
Samurai offspring.
Haiku #61193, by df
December 4, 2018 1:36 am ET

Japanese are weird.
Get too excited about
Shopping and strange food
Haiku #61192, by Anonymous Poet
December 3, 2018 4:18 pm ET

OFF Kanagawa.
Hawaiians would have surfed it.
Japanese are punks.
Haiku #61191, by df
December 3, 2018 4:23 am ET

Check out CNN
Great Wave of Kanagawa
Featured there today
Haiku #61190, by Sk
December 3, 2018 12:15 am ET

Problem is can't lie
Like George Washington. Cherry tree.
Bad breath. Wooden teeth
Haiku #61189, by Martha PacificNorthwestington
December 2, 2018 11:37 pm ET