Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku # 61112, November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku # 61111, November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET
by Former Janitor
I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku # 61110, November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET
by df
Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe
Haiku # 61109, November 26, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out
Haiku # 61108, November 26, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Me of Memory Lane
Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit
Haiku # 61107, November 26, 2018 12:49 am ET
by Simon Says
When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card
Haiku # 61106, November 26, 2018 12:47 am ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.
Haiku # 61105, November 25, 2018 11:53 pm ET
by df
What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?
Haiku # 61104, November 25, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed
Haiku # 61103, November 25, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"
Haiku # 61102, November 25, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Smegward Sciissorhands
have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????
Haiku # 61101, November 25, 2018 8:29 pm ET
by vhs
poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...
Haiku # 61100, November 25, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by vhs of this isn't a haiku but I am tired of life today
So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?
Haiku # 61099, November 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.
Haiku # 61098, November 25, 2018 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.
Haiku # 61097, November 25, 2018 7:06 pm ET
by df
Mona Lisa's cunt
Vertical smile mystery
Obvious tuna
Haiku # 61096, November 25, 2018 6:42 pm ET
by Leonardo of Hard on Department
Zorg Zeguulon Zerr
Zygorx Zxrog zzzis zeguulon
Zguyx zx Zorg Zerr
Haiku # 61095, November 25, 2018 6:39 pm ET
by Zorg of Zeguulon
Don't bother worry
That's just a waste of your time
Jerk off instead, man
Haiku # 61094, November 25, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Zoom lens on asshole
Wrinkles. Hairs. Dingleberries.
I'll s(h)it on your face
Haiku # 61093, November 25, 2018 6:14 pm ET
by Zygorx of Sgrunx
Awful twat waffle.
Eyeful of Eiffel Tower.
Fine wine art cheese fart.
Haiku # 61092, November 25, 2018 5:04 pm ET
by df of French fried frog fritters fraternity
Haiku licks my ASS.
You are a lightweight ass-lick.
Do your best. Lightweight.
Haiku # 61091, November 25, 2018 5:00 pm ET
by Ass- cheeks of Transcedence
Now you will read this.
Now you will acknowledge Truth
Or burn forever.
Haiku # 61090, November 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by Haiku condemns you out of time & money
I will end Haiku.
You will lick my abstract ass.
You have no values.
Haiku # 61089, November 25, 2018 4:37 pm ET
by Ass Suck of Poetic Innovation
John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.
Haiku # 61088, November 25, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Haiku of Ass-suck
do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do
Haiku # 61087, November 25, 2018 3:29 am ET
by ash
I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.
Haiku # 61086, November 24, 2018 11:30 pm ET
by df
The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!
Haiku # 61085, November 24, 2018 9:22 pm ET
by The owner of Vancie (Adam)
*But, she
Haiku # 61084, November 24, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Vancie
Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she
Haiku # 61083, November 24, 2018 9:19 pm ET
by Vancie
Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium
Haiku # 61082, November 24, 2018 6:24 pm ET
by Figpucker Fanclub
Vancie, you be good
It's hard not being naughty
Let me scratch your belly
Haiku # 61081, November 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by Vancie' friend, Starkitten
Haiku.
Haiku # 61080, November 24, 2018 10:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Vancie is a dog
She is very very black
And she is a brat
Haiku # 61079, November 24, 2018 10:06 am ET
by Vancie
Shimmy was a cunt
He stole our rolls of pennies
And bought tons of weed
Haiku # 61078, November 24, 2018 4:23 am ET
by Rippin
Larvae puparium
Squidnick Centurion
If I named new cars
Haiku # 61077, November 24, 2018 4:21 am ET
by Hi Koo
Radiating pain
into the neck from the brain
will make one insane.

Grabbing a handful
of synthetic opioids
like they were candy.

I'd rather grab tits.
Since I'm no politician
that would be okay.
Haiku # 61076, November 24, 2018 2:46 am ET
by farty pants poopie face... or something
All are poetasters
And useless Turkey Basters
Yeah, and time wasters
Haiku # 61075, November 23, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Outer Spacester
Those aren
Haiku # 61074, November 23, 2018 6:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You might be the one
The greatest haiku poet
You
Haiku # 61073, November 23, 2018 6:12 am ET
by Haiku Freak
Still at the table
They ate until their pants burst
Compared genitals
Haiku # 61072, November 22, 2018 10:22 pm ET
by I'd rather not say of Under the table
We're having tacos
Believe me, there is no "Hell"
Some of us know that
Haiku # 61071, November 22, 2018 7:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you can't give thanks
Then burn in hell, ungrateful.
Haiku has no worth.
Haiku # 61070, November 22, 2018 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Splatter of gravy?
Granted, I don't eat that much
C'mon, you miser!!
Haiku # 61069, November 22, 2018 4:11 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Hangry Mole of John Boy Walton's face
A hole in the pie
And Grandpa's looking sheepish
Pass the Werther's, please
Haiku # 61068, November 22, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist
Haiku # 61067, November 22, 2018 11:36 am ET
by Moist person of Moist place
Screwing roast turkey?
It's not beastiality.
It's making gravy.

Or you might call it,
ahem, BASTE-iality.
Pre-stuffing the bird.
Haiku # 61066, November 22, 2018 7:12 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Asking for a friend
Screwing a turkey carcass..
Biestiality?
Haiku # 61065, November 22, 2018 4:31 am ET
by I'd rather not say
Leftover pumpkins
Grab one off your neighbour's porch
Headless Horseman Time!!
Haiku # 61064, November 22, 2018 2:14 am ET
by Fun Person
dear americans
though your president's a twat
we love you long time
Haiku # 61063, November 22, 2018 1:50 am ET
by ash
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