Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.
Haiku # 61088, November 25, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Haiku of Ass-suck
do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do
Haiku # 61087, November 25, 2018 3:29 am ET
by ash
I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.
Haiku # 61086, November 24, 2018 11:30 pm ET
by df
The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!
Haiku # 61085, November 24, 2018 9:22 pm ET
by The owner of Vancie (Adam)
*But, she
Haiku # 61084, November 24, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Vancie
Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she
Haiku # 61083, November 24, 2018 9:19 pm ET
by Vancie
Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium
Haiku # 61082, November 24, 2018 6:24 pm ET
by Figpucker Fanclub
Vancie, you be good
It's hard not being naughty
Let me scratch your belly
Haiku # 61081, November 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by Vancie' friend, Starkitten
Haiku.
Haiku # 61080, November 24, 2018 10:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Vancie is a dog
She is very very black
And she is a brat
Haiku # 61079, November 24, 2018 10:06 am ET
by Vancie
Shimmy was a cunt
He stole our rolls of pennies
And bought tons of weed
Haiku # 61078, November 24, 2018 4:23 am ET
by Rippin
Larvae puparium
Squidnick Centurion
If I named new cars
Haiku # 61077, November 24, 2018 4:21 am ET
by Hi Koo
Radiating pain
into the neck from the brain
will make one insane.

Grabbing a handful
of synthetic opioids
like they were candy.

I'd rather grab tits.
Since I'm no politician
that would be okay.
Haiku # 61076, November 24, 2018 2:46 am ET
by farty pants poopie face... or something
All are poetasters
And useless Turkey Basters
Yeah, and time wasters
Haiku # 61075, November 23, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Outer Spacester
Those aren
Haiku # 61074, November 23, 2018 6:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You might be the one
The greatest haiku poet
You
Haiku # 61073, November 23, 2018 6:12 am ET
by Haiku Freak
Still at the table
They ate until their pants burst
Compared genitals
Haiku # 61072, November 22, 2018 10:22 pm ET
by I'd rather not say of Under the table
We're having tacos
Believe me, there is no "Hell"
Some of us know that
Haiku # 61071, November 22, 2018 7:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you can't give thanks
Then burn in hell, ungrateful.
Haiku has no worth.
Haiku # 61070, November 22, 2018 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Splatter of gravy?
Granted, I don't eat that much
C'mon, you miser!!
Haiku # 61069, November 22, 2018 4:11 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Hangry Mole of John Boy Walton's face
A hole in the pie
And Grandpa's looking sheepish
Pass the Werther's, please
Haiku # 61068, November 22, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist
Haiku # 61067, November 22, 2018 11:36 am ET
by Moist person of Moist place
Screwing roast turkey?
It's not beastiality.
It's making gravy.

Or you might call it,
ahem, BASTE-iality.
Pre-stuffing the bird.
Haiku # 61066, November 22, 2018 7:12 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Asking for a friend
Screwing a turkey carcass..
Biestiality?
Haiku # 61065, November 22, 2018 4:31 am ET
by I'd rather not say
Leftover pumpkins
Grab one off your neighbour's porch
Headless Horseman Time!!
Haiku # 61064, November 22, 2018 2:14 am ET
by Fun Person
dear americans
though your president's a twat
we love you long time
Haiku # 61063, November 22, 2018 1:50 am ET
by ash
there once was a poem from me
to show how said limericks be
the pattern of rhyme
and their rhythmic time
is exactly as you can now see
Haiku # 61062, November 22, 2018 1:47 am ET
by ash
Define limerick.
Other than being dirty.
Rhythm, rhyme, so on.
Haiku # 61061, November 21, 2018 8:05 pm ET
by Edward Lear's left testicle.
Give you sedatives
Dunk you in a vat of nog
Fuck your brains right out
Haiku # 61060, November 21, 2018 6:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That ain't a limerick
You better lay off the sauce
Poet, Stay Sober!!
Haiku # 61059, November 21, 2018 6:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Egg nog with rum sucks.
Drink half a gallon per day.
You must drink it straight.

Spend New Year's alone.
No one likes to fuck fatties.
Not even when drunk.
Haiku # 61058, November 21, 2018 6:56 pm ET
by df
This bad haiku's a limerick.
When you read it you will be sick.
You'll vomit a bucket
of puke and shout "fuck it",
Cunt maggots and dog feces lick.
Haiku # 61057, November 21, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by Vaginal Flatus Discharge Beverage Beaver Hemorhage of Bloody Mary
Santa brings presents
But why dont God and Jesus?
Cheap Motherfuckers
Haiku # 61056, November 21, 2018 6:46 pm ET
by Person who wants lots of presents
I've not drank egg nog,
disappointing heart surgeons,
for about four years.
Haiku # 61055, November 21, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by df
Spiked Santa's egg nog
latte with Viagra pills.
Shopping mall scandal.
Haiku # 61054, November 21, 2018 5:48 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I rode a funt-cart.
It wouldn't go very fast.
It was at Wal-Mart.

Oh wait, no, I'm wrong.
It was one of those "Rascals".
The seat smelled funny.
Haiku # 61053, November 21, 2018 7:37 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Quantum particles
swerve inappropriately
whilst navigating.
Haiku # 61052, November 21, 2018 5:39 am ET
by the way of the scoundrel
Holiday photos
Mall Santa popped a boner
Mugshot portrait now
Haiku # 61051, November 20, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by Elf Dentist
Oxen pull funt-cart
Through the wastelands of Haiku
Loaded full of Funt.
Haiku # 61050, November 20, 2018 5:50 pm ET
by Funt-Cart of Mottypouth
Bad Haiku website
symptomatic of our time:
pottymouth trash-talk
Haiku # 61049, November 20, 2018 5:47 pm ET
by Darth Kitten Starpucker of Excrementally Underwhelmed
With that being said
With that being said...No more!!
With that being said
Haiku # 61048, November 20, 2018 4:25 pm ET
by Annoying person
Ronald McDonald
He's got an orange schmeckle
Just like that Trump clown
Haiku # 61047, November 20, 2018 2:58 pm ET
by Oompa Loompa watcher
Salami dildo
Delicatessen window
Dinner and a show
Haiku # 61046, November 20, 2018 2:55 pm ET
by New York Mona of New Jersey
Since the last update
Forecast calls for more poems
Chance of urine floods
Haiku # 61045, November 20, 2018 2:52 pm ET
by Whiskey sip of Barstool
Tortoise Turdle Turd
Chomping lettuce. Daydreaming.
Popping a boner
Haiku # 61044, November 20, 2018 1:26 pm ET
by I'd rather not say
Mailman Piggy Back!
Nude Ambush. Caught him off guard
No bath salts involved
Haiku # 61043, November 20, 2018 1:23 pm ET
by High On Life (backflip) of Front Yard!
We're staunch characters
S-T-A-U-N-C-H
And we tap dance, too
Haiku # 61042, November 20, 2018 11:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Class action lawsuit
Bad Roosters! Mosquitoes Fraud!
Yowling Cats will pay!!
Haiku # 61041, November 20, 2018 10:48 am ET
by Attorney of Cuntfart Cuntfart & Cunt Ltd
human albumin
Slippery banana peels
I smell a lawsuit
Haiku # 61040, November 20, 2018 8:29 am ET
by Attorney of Law Offices of cuntfart cuntfart & cunt
Roosters attacked me.
Goddamn tortoise ate a turd.
Cats yelling for food.

Killed three mosquitoes.
The flies were too quick for me.
Pouring rain again.

Kids either fussing
or playing video games.
Waste away their lives.

Here I write haiku.
And that's oh so meaningful.
Why won't God kill me?!
Haiku # 61039, November 20, 2018 3:36 am ET
by df
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >