Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Radiating pain
into the neck from the brain
will make one insane.

Grabbing a handful
of synthetic opioids
like they were candy.

I'd rather grab tits.
Since I'm no politician
that would be okay.
Haiku # 61076, November 24, 2018 2:46 am ET
by farty pants poopie face... or something
All are poetasters
And useless Turkey Basters
Yeah, and time wasters
Haiku # 61075, November 23, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Outer Spacester
Those aren
Haiku # 61074, November 23, 2018 6:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You might be the one
The greatest haiku poet
You
Haiku # 61073, November 23, 2018 6:12 am ET
by Haiku Freak
Still at the table
They ate until their pants burst
Compared genitals
Haiku # 61072, November 22, 2018 10:22 pm ET
by I'd rather not say of Under the table
We're having tacos
Believe me, there is no "Hell"
Some of us know that
Haiku # 61071, November 22, 2018 7:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you can't give thanks
Then burn in hell, ungrateful.
Haiku has no worth.
Haiku # 61070, November 22, 2018 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Splatter of gravy?
Granted, I don't eat that much
C'mon, you miser!!
Haiku # 61069, November 22, 2018 4:11 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Hangry Mole of John Boy Walton's face
A hole in the pie
And Grandpa's looking sheepish
Pass the Werther's, please
Haiku # 61068, November 22, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist
Haiku # 61067, November 22, 2018 11:36 am ET
by Moist person of Moist place
Screwing roast turkey?
It's not beastiality.
It's making gravy.

Or you might call it,
ahem, BASTE-iality.
Pre-stuffing the bird.
Haiku # 61066, November 22, 2018 7:12 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Asking for a friend
Screwing a turkey carcass..
Biestiality?
Haiku # 61065, November 22, 2018 4:31 am ET
by I'd rather not say
Leftover pumpkins
Grab one off your neighbour's porch
Headless Horseman Time!!
Haiku # 61064, November 22, 2018 2:14 am ET
by Fun Person
dear americans
though your president's a twat
we love you long time
Haiku # 61063, November 22, 2018 1:50 am ET
by ash
there once was a poem from me
to show how said limericks be
the pattern of rhyme
and their rhythmic time
is exactly as you can now see
Haiku # 61062, November 22, 2018 1:47 am ET
by ash
Define limerick.
Other than being dirty.
Rhythm, rhyme, so on.
Haiku # 61061, November 21, 2018 8:05 pm ET
by Edward Lear's left testicle.
Give you sedatives
Dunk you in a vat of nog
Fuck your brains right out
Haiku # 61060, November 21, 2018 6:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That ain't a limerick
You better lay off the sauce
Poet, Stay Sober!!
Haiku # 61059, November 21, 2018 6:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Egg nog with rum sucks.
Drink half a gallon per day.
You must drink it straight.

Spend New Year's alone.
No one likes to fuck fatties.
Not even when drunk.
Haiku # 61058, November 21, 2018 6:56 pm ET
by df
This bad haiku's a limerick.
When you read it you will be sick.
You'll vomit a bucket
of puke and shout "fuck it",
Cunt maggots and dog feces lick.
Haiku # 61057, November 21, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by Vaginal Flatus Discharge Beverage Beaver Hemorhage of Bloody Mary
Santa brings presents
But why dont God and Jesus?
Cheap Motherfuckers
Haiku # 61056, November 21, 2018 6:46 pm ET
by Person who wants lots of presents
I've not drank egg nog,
disappointing heart surgeons,
for about four years.
Haiku # 61055, November 21, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by df
Spiked Santa's egg nog
latte with Viagra pills.
Shopping mall scandal.
Haiku # 61054, November 21, 2018 5:48 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I rode a funt-cart.
It wouldn't go very fast.
It was at Wal-Mart.

Oh wait, no, I'm wrong.
It was one of those "Rascals".
The seat smelled funny.
Haiku # 61053, November 21, 2018 7:37 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Quantum particles
swerve inappropriately
whilst navigating.
Haiku # 61052, November 21, 2018 5:39 am ET
by the way of the scoundrel
Holiday photos
Mall Santa popped a boner
Mugshot portrait now
Haiku # 61051, November 20, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by Elf Dentist
Oxen pull funt-cart
Through the wastelands of Haiku
Loaded full of Funt.
Haiku # 61050, November 20, 2018 5:50 pm ET
by Funt-Cart of Mottypouth
Bad Haiku website
symptomatic of our time:
pottymouth trash-talk
Haiku # 61049, November 20, 2018 5:47 pm ET
by Darth Kitten Starpucker of Excrementally Underwhelmed
With that being said
With that being said...No more!!
With that being said
Haiku # 61048, November 20, 2018 4:25 pm ET
by Annoying person
Ronald McDonald
He's got an orange schmeckle
Just like that Trump clown
Haiku # 61047, November 20, 2018 2:58 pm ET
by Oompa Loompa watcher
Salami dildo
Delicatessen window
Dinner and a show
Haiku # 61046, November 20, 2018 2:55 pm ET
by New York Mona of New Jersey
Since the last update
Forecast calls for more poems
Chance of urine floods
Haiku # 61045, November 20, 2018 2:52 pm ET
by Whiskey sip of Barstool
Tortoise Turdle Turd
Chomping lettuce. Daydreaming.
Popping a boner
Haiku # 61044, November 20, 2018 1:26 pm ET
by I'd rather not say
Mailman Piggy Back!
Nude Ambush. Caught him off guard
No bath salts involved
Haiku # 61043, November 20, 2018 1:23 pm ET
by High On Life (backflip) of Front Yard!
We're staunch characters
S-T-A-U-N-C-H
And we tap dance, too
Haiku # 61042, November 20, 2018 11:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Class action lawsuit
Bad Roosters! Mosquitoes Fraud!
Yowling Cats will pay!!
Haiku # 61041, November 20, 2018 10:48 am ET
by Attorney of Cuntfart Cuntfart & Cunt Ltd
human albumin
Slippery banana peels
I smell a lawsuit
Haiku # 61040, November 20, 2018 8:29 am ET
by Attorney of Law Offices of cuntfart cuntfart & cunt
Roosters attacked me.
Goddamn tortoise ate a turd.
Cats yelling for food.

Killed three mosquitoes.
The flies were too quick for me.
Pouring rain again.

Kids either fussing
or playing video games.
Waste away their lives.

Here I write haiku.
And that's oh so meaningful.
Why won't God kill me?!
Haiku # 61039, November 20, 2018 3:36 am ET
by df
McOyVeyDonald's.
Kosher Bacon Cheeseburgers.
Ronald's McMosheh.

When Christ was a lad
he got the happy meals.
Comes with free dreidel.
Haiku # 61038, November 20, 2018 3:23 am ET
by df
Reverberations
Wind passed on the veranda
Crouching low, cat-like
Haiku # 61037, November 20, 2018 1:28 am ET
by Porch shitter of Porch
Yesterday....Today....
We didn't ask for this crap.
Maybe tomorrow...
Haiku # 61036, November 20, 2018 1:14 am ET
by Earthling of Earth
Jesus, son of God
Never tasted McDonald's
He really missed out
Haiku # 61035, November 19, 2018 9:37 pm ET
by Grimace
all things considered
some folks think it is the end
so there's mark taylor
Haiku # 61034, November 19, 2018 8:52 pm ET
by vhs
And end with a fart
Haiku # 61033, November 19, 2018 8:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Once upon a Figpucker
Haiku # 61032, November 19, 2018 8:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All stories will start
Haiku # 61031, November 19, 2018 8:17 pm ET
by Hans Atheist Anderson
I hope that I know when I'm going to die so that I can post on Farcebook, I AM DARTH FIGPUCKER, to shame my whole family. That way they will hate me and not mourn me at all. Save them the trouble. Cremate me, flush my ashes down the nearest toilet. Save money that way.
Haiku # 61030, November 19, 2018 8:11 pm ET
by df
I miss elections.
I used to shit on porches
of republicans.

Never shat in sinks.
I mean, why waste a good turd?
Each turd can be art!
Haiku # 61029, November 19, 2018 8:07 pm ET
by df of Express Thyself!
Of course I'm joking.
My life: haiku, sudoku.
Sudoku, haiku.

No nipple biting.
the bee's knees and wasp's nipples.
Erogenous bugs.

I realized something.
Being immortal would suck.
I feel bad for God.

God or the Devil.
They will never know the end.
And its sweet release.
Haiku # 61028, November 19, 2018 8:02 pm ET
by df
So much backed up shit
Procrastinating colon
I
Haiku # 61027, November 19, 2018 8:01 pm ET
by Overheard of Public Restroom
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