BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
4 Days
and
60984 Haikus
later...
I truly do hope
It doesn't turn out to be
A light-red ripple.
Haiku #60820, by But I won't have a prolonged public meltdown if it happens the way the pathetic regressives have doing since the election of our Windswept Wizard of Wonderful
November 6, 2018 6:37 pm ET

* have
Haiku #60819, by Buzzy of Compound eye doctors
November 6, 2018 5:45 pm ET

"Oh, and furthermore
Leave my brethren alone, Darth.
Mosquitoes gave rights!"
Haiku #60818, by Buzzy of In the pissed off section
November 6, 2018 5:44 pm ET

"and while I'm at it
I'll leave behind some flaiku
Also known as poop."
Haiku #60817, by Buzzy of Around
November 6, 2018 5:42 pm ET

(Insect voice) "Hey, man..
We're saving that chunk for later!
Feasting on yours now."
Haiku #60816, by Buzzy the annoying fly of On your haiku
November 6, 2018 4:07 pm ET

Filthy remains rot
Even flies won't eat the corpse
That is your Haiku
Haiku #60815, by Decomposition of Liquefaction
November 6, 2018 9:54 am ET

You said power drill
The trigger words. You woke me
I've got morning wood
Haiku #60814, by Bob Villa
November 6, 2018 7:57 am ET

I'm sure he's quite handy
Barney could fix your plumbing
And clog all your pipes
Haiku #60813, by He"s trouble
November 6, 2018 7:54 am ET

Like, the Scooby snack
Could have been giant Funyuns
But they drew your dink
Haiku #60812, by I know you get a boner of But do you receive royalties?
November 6, 2018 7:48 am ET

Brain damage is cool.
When you wake up from a dream,
it all seems so real.

I had an affair
with Barney the dinosaur
dressed like a plumber.

But the headaches suck.
Power drill pressure relief.
So fucking tempting.

Why the dream about
Velma from Scoobie Doo?
Never in my life.

"You can't fuck me, I'm a cartoon.
I'm not even supposed to say that word.
Oh... oooo... well... okay."

Seriously... WTF?!
Haiku #60811, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 6, 2018 5:38 am ET

Yeah, if you jack off.
Don't do it on a skateboard.
Or wear a helmet.
Haiku #60810, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 6, 2018 4:39 am ET

hit by an arrow
walking in Piccadilly
on Feb fourteen morn
Haiku #60809, by fabio sassi of bologna, italy
November 6, 2018 3:03 am ET

Knitting dink covers
For the holidays, boys
Who needs the big size?
Haiku #60808, by Crafty
November 6, 2018 2:20 am ET

Is this real haiku?
Is haiku about pooping?
Ok, I farted
Haiku #60807, by Nina
November 6, 2018 2:04 am ET

The article said
The old man was skateboarding
And masturbating
Haiku #60806, by And yelling haiku poems of And chasing a pig
November 5, 2018 11:29 pm ET

I am such a cunt.
Old people should not skateboard.
Stay home and jack off!

Fucking little goddamn pebble! Fuck!
Haiku #60805, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 5, 2018 11:12 pm ET

Trying to heal you
Starkitten has been ill, too
Last surgery failed
Haiku #60804, by Have seam up middle like stuffed animal of Sending healing farts your way (smelliest ones)
November 5, 2018 11:04 pm ET

The chance is high that
you just breathed a molecule
from Hitler's last fart.

And Beethoven's and
Jesus' and Buddha's and...
You get the idea.

We are all one fart!
Chemistry is amazing!
Avogadro's Cock!

6.022x10^23 golf balls covering the earth 3 miles deep in golf balls. Tiger Woods, save us! Offerings of cocaine and prostitutes.
Haiku #60803, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 5, 2018 10:49 pm ET

Life is fucking great.
Subdural hematoma.
What could be better.

Yo momma in a coma hematoma.

Christ I hope I die.
Fuck all that surgery shit.
Tampon in the nose.

Not terrible, but I do have to monitor it.
Headaches fucking suck, slight numbness.
Yesterday was worse. Maybe it will get better.
You fuckers aren't rid of me yet.

Yeah, fuck surgery.
Bacardi 151.
Power drill, tampon.
Haiku #60802, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of DIY brain surgery. Web MD.com. Save money!
November 5, 2018 10:37 pm ET

Passenger pigeon
Important haiku in beak
Scratch that...his asshole
Haiku #60801, by Asshole it stinked
November 5, 2018 10:19 pm ET

Is there room in Hell
For us and our poetry
And smelly asses?
Haiku #60800, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 9:19 pm ET

The way I see it
If you keep at it a while
You'll jizz out something
Haiku #60799, by Jizzer
November 5, 2018 9:06 pm ET

Poems write themselves
They float in the air we breathe
Along with Darth's farts
Haiku #60798, by Breathing mud
November 5, 2018 8:47 pm ET

Whenever in doubt
You should press submit haiku
Just put some words up
Haiku #60797, by Haiku Advice of Haiku 101
November 5, 2018 8:45 pm ET

Mother in law, Why?
Does the table smell like fish?
Are doorknobs greasy?
Haiku #60796, by ?
November 5, 2018 7:59 pm ET

VHS is Nina, too prob
Haiku #60795, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 7:38 pm ET

Further proof that VHS is Figpucker!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku #60794, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 6:44 pm ET

Hell's Outhouse Hole, folks
It happens to dump right here
Submit Haiku page
Haiku #60793, by Starkitten
November 5, 2018 6:42 pm ET

*depths... goddamnit
Haiku #60792, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 6:10 pm ET

My origin depts
are far deeper than toilets.
Think Satan's outhouse.

If Hell is as low
as you can go, then what of
Hell's outhouse hole, eh?
Haiku #60791, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 5, 2018 6:10 pm ET

Strum strum strum plunk plunk
Stretching my pubic hairs out
Smoke on the water....
Haiku #60790, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 5:25 pm ET

Welcome, Nina. First:
Beware the foul stench of Darth.
He rises from toilet.
Haiku #60789, by Full House Royal Flush
November 5, 2018 5:12 pm ET

Hi, I am new here
I can't wait to learn haiku
Is there a topic?
Haiku #60788, by Nina of Az
November 5, 2018 3:34 pm ET

Been waiting for this
It's been a rough, muddy road
Bought toilet paper
Haiku #60787, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 2:30 pm ET

Poop worm dink undies
Gave me a little chuckle
And a funny dream
Haiku #60786, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 1:03 pm ET

Queen Elizabeth II
She's sitting atop the throne
Hunch royal coil
Haiku #60785, by Lizard Biotch
November 5, 2018 12:48 pm ET

Vampire Tea Bags
We're holding our pinkies up
Sipping with werewolves
Haiku #60784, by Sippers
November 5, 2018 12:46 pm ET

Waves of menstrual cramps
Prince Charles Dressed as a tampon
Totally rad,dude
Haiku #60783, by Surf's up
November 5, 2018 12:31 pm ET

Red tsunami breaks.
The wave in picture above
Is red red red red!
Haiku #60782, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of brown stench
November 5, 2018 9:05 am ET

Wed Rave incoming.
Wed Rave incoming, people.
Get out of the way!
Haiku #60781, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 8:03 am ET

Coprophagist Darth:
your mouth the only toilet
I can see from here.
Haiku #60780, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 8:01 am ET

A cockroach milkshake.
Dingleberry booger pie.
Side of tampon scabs.
Haiku #60779, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 5, 2018 4:52 am ET

Poop worm dink undies
fart stench toilet grunt ass wipe
constipation cunt.
Haiku #60778, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 5, 2018 4:43 am ET

Dirty underwear
Sending them as Christmas gifts
You are on the list
Haiku #60777, by Secret Santa
November 5, 2018 3:59 am ET

Toilet Recliner
Relax and grunt in comfort
Because you're worth it
Haiku #60776, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2018 3:27 am ET

I have a feeling
The stench is a real problem
When you use the can
Haiku #60775, by Got a hunch
November 5, 2018 3:24 am ET

Diary Entry:
Suffocate him in his sleep
With a plastic bag
Haiku #60774, by Edie Brickell of Sounds of Almost Silence, CT
November 5, 2018 2:42 am ET

You can tell your friends
Your haiku is famous
Bask in the glory
Haiku #60773, by G o d
November 5, 2018 2:39 am ET

Wet wild wiggly worm?
Which end of you has the dink?
I like holding you
Haiku #60772, by Worm holder
November 5, 2018 2:36 am ET

Wiping my behind
Decorated with bad poop
Help wanted: Ass Wipe

Must enjoy loud farts
Preferably ambidextrous
With a caring touch
Haiku #60771, by Sitter of Terlit
November 5, 2018 2:31 am ET