BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
195 Days
and
64886 Haikus
later...
I wouldn't know what DVDA was if not for Matt Stone and Trey Parker. What would Brian Boitano Do?
Haiku #60729, by
November 3, 2018 10:52 pm ET

Thanksgiving themed porn.
Pilgrims bang Poke-a-hot-ass,
the big chief's daughter.

Let us bow our heads.
Lord, we thank you for this feast
of pussy and tits.

"I like the fish pie."
Licking whipped cream off her tits.
Let's stuff this here bird.

Mock English accents.
Olden-speak DVDA.
She was stuffed alright!
Haiku #60728, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 10:50 pm ET

Pilgrims pulling penis
Pumpkin pie pig-out packs pounds
Pilgrim Poontang
Haiku #60727, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 10:46 pm ET

Hood boss VHS
He's in charge of pies this year
He'll prolly fuck them
Haiku #60726, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 9:44 pm ET

Making hand turkeys
So boring. Trace Grandad's schlong!
It's a shapeshifter
Haiku #60725, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 9:40 pm ET

Corn acreage here
Save the cobs to wipe our bums
Huge turkey wattle!

What a hearty meal
Feel free to unzip your pants
Free your blunderbus
Haiku #60724, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 9:36 pm ET

You say "circle jerk"
As if that would be a bad thing.
Turkey grease on palms.

Extra white gravy.
Do not let it go to waste.
Mixed with your stuffing.
Haiku #60723, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 9:27 pm ET

A bottled green gas
would be the perfect stinky
x-mas gift for me.

X-mas from the ass.
The lass passed gas from her ass,
bottled in clear gas.

The gas was off-green,
looking sort of like chlorine,
But much more toxic.
Haiku #60722, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 9:23 pm ET

The first Thanksgiving
Wasn't it a circle jerk
Around the table?
Haiku #60721, by Choked and Stuffed Chicken
November 3, 2018 7:57 pm ET

That ain't no crime, Darth
You left a work of art there
Hanging in the loo
Haiku #60720, by Sure stinx
November 3, 2018 7:35 pm ET

The longer I live
The more I look like Santa
I want to believe
Haiku #60719, by Big belly, whiskers, white hair, jolly eyes of And I have a vagina
November 3, 2018 7:27 pm ET

Forget about a kiss
Mistletoe Fellatio
A gift from our dog
Haiku #60718, by He bites
November 3, 2018 7:24 pm ET

Bottling my farts
To give as holiday gifts
Some are Grinch green, too
Haiku #60717, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 7:22 pm ET

Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Now shout it from the rooftops!
You can be a star
Haiku #60716, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET

I forgot to flush.
That's, my friend, my only crime.
Death sentence imposed.

Ah, fuck it, not in the mood to count.
5757575757557575757575. piss on it.

Take the o from count.
Then release your flatulence.
Then repeat step one.

You've got cunthfart cunt.

JOY!
Haiku #60715, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 6:19 pm ET

Breaking down the wind
One fart at a time. Mindful.
Yeah, God would like that
Haiku #60714, by Wind Breaker of Wind
November 3, 2018 6:11 pm ET

Sir Darth Figpucker
A fugitive from justice
Conditioner Theft
Haiku #60713, by Slipped out through the bars of the jail of Greased Longpig hard to catch
November 3, 2018 4:42 pm ET

Mustard on his dick
Ketchup on his balls. What's next?
Mayo on the walls
Haiku #60712, by Condiment for Condoms meant for of Formula 409
November 3, 2018 4:39 pm ET

An abusuve God
Who needs it. Trash Deadbeat dad
Dude, give it a rest
Haiku #60711, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 4:36 pm ET

You make the art here.
Get your head out of your ass.
Fear God. Then create.
Haiku #60710, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 11:46 am ET

Here there is no art.
I think I've said that before.
No one believes me.
Haiku #60709, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:27 am ET

I do not
Haiku #60708, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:26 am ET

Give that girl some mustard!
Haiku #60707, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET

The penis is a hot dog.
Haiku #60706, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET

The Grinch has dog penis.
Haiku #60705, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:24 am ET

The dog has grinch feet
Haiku #60704, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 1:48 am ET

Even though I
Haiku #60703, by Diarrhea dancer
November 3, 2018 1:25 am ET

With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail
Haiku #60702, by Acrobutt
November 3, 2018 1:22 am ET

Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea
Haiku #60701, by Sick person
November 3, 2018 1:21 am ET

Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body
Haiku #60700, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 1:17 am ET

YOU give her cunnilingus.
Haiku #60699, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 1:13 am ET

It only lets me write one line of haiku
Haiku #60698, by Because I have watery of Diarrhea
November 3, 2018 12:57 am ET

Give your wife cunnilingus
Haiku #60697, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:55 am ET

I have diarrhea
Haiku #60696, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:54 am ET

Are midgets
Haiku #60695, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET

Are midgets
Haiku #60694, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET

Wanted to goose you
Make your neck hairs stand on end
Maybe something else
Haiku #60693, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:40 am ET

Just want a smidgen
I guess I need new sandals
You hear me creepin
Haiku #60692, by Jeez us of Eye of the Tiger
November 3, 2018 12:38 am ET

I can smell Jesus
Like a hot musky tiger
Prowling for my soul
Haiku #60691, by Religious Inexperience
November 3, 2018 12:26 am ET

I rigged all the votes.
President Figpucker has
a nice ring to it.
Haiku #60690, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 8:00 pm ET

Starkitten, you'd just
need a small strap on green bean.
She would never know.
Haiku #60689, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 7:44 pm ET

I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies
Haiku #60688, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 5:06 pm ET

Sorry. HIS fat wife...
Or should I say "Rubenesque".
No penis. Got it.
Haiku #60687, by Figpucker Intervention Squad
November 2, 2018 4:56 pm ET

I can't fuck your wife
I'm a woman. Have no penis.
She'd know the difference
Haiku #60686, by Starkitten
November 2, 2018 3:20 pm ET

Your fat horny wife
Waits in vain for your Haiku.
(Your well-placed Haiku . . .)
Haiku #60685, by Haiku Police of Syllabic Task-Force Unit 575
November 2, 2018 11:39 am ET

My fat horny wife is waiting for me to come to be and I'm not in the mood to hump a sack of lard right now so I'm staying up pretending to work but instead really just writing shit on here so I don't have to pound the pig tonight and smell that fat woman sweat and I wish she would get really drunk so I'd just pay someone else to fuck her and she'd think it was me. Starkitten, you want some extra cash? I'd ask Cuntfart Cunt, but Jesus, diseases, you know.
Haiku #60684, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:28 am ET

I'd be shit-faced drunk,
Lying in my own vomit.
But no, calculus.
Haiku #60683, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:22 am ET

And sadly, of course,
if you read my haiku, then
you can smell my corpse.
Haiku #60682, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:06 am ET

What's amazing is
that when I read your haiku,
I can see your corpse.
Haiku #60681, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:04 am ET

It is nothing new.
When I look in the mirror
I see my own corpse.
Haiku #60680, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:02 am ET