Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 162 Days and 77043 Haiku later...

meh maybe you have
a special talent for the
spooking of ai...
Haiku # 60129, October 13, 2018 5:58 pm ET
by vhs
Down and down we descend... nobody wins a race to the bottom
Haiku # 60128, October 13, 2018 5:35 pm ET
by Chris Cuomo of Astroglide Commercial
Question for the boys
Hard work to get a boner?
See them everywhere.
Haiku # 60127, October 13, 2018 5:21 pm ET
by Starkitten of Anyone standing next to me gets one
Come on vhs.
You just need some Viagra
if it's not working.

Remember back when
every other post was spam
for cheap boner pills?
Haiku # 60126, October 13, 2018 5:08 pm ET
by df
like when i do the
recapatcha it won't load
on my tablet right now
Haiku # 60124, October 13, 2018 4:52 pm ET
by vhs
that's not exactly
what I'm saying, my hardware
is acting weird now

so say how to fix
a wonky samsung tablet
or opera browser?
Haiku # 60123, October 13, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by vhs
Don't go, vhs
Think of our mental health
We're a little off
Haiku # 60122, October 13, 2018 4:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bend it like Posh Spice
Origami of the dink
Tattooed wrinkle stick
Haiku # 60121, October 13, 2018 3:59 pm ET
by Scary Spice of Spice Rack
stuff isn't working for
me like it should so i think
things will be off now
Haiku # 60120, October 13, 2018 3:58 pm ET
by vhs
I'm a bad mo-fo.
Ate toasted bagel, cream cheese,
with kimchi on it.

And to top that off
old durian for dessert.
A deadly combo.

But, to be honest,
I'm not a total bad-ass.
The cream cheese was "lite".

Tomorrow dog brain
pate on rye, sauerkraut,
garlic, and goat cheese.
Haiku # 60119, October 13, 2018 6:16 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
David Letterman
Stars in all my fantasies
Even with the beard
Haiku # 60118, October 13, 2018 5:14 am ET
by Starkitten
Fired up on Vegemite
Punching kangaroos out cold
Wissing on the flowers
Haiku # 60117, October 13, 2018 5:10 am ET
by The Wisser
Meow meow meow #MeToo
Seeking justice against perv
David Letterman
Haiku # 60116, October 13, 2018 4:58 am ET
by Frantic Housecat
Chainsaw starts at dawn
He rushes outside quickly
And sprays them with hose
Haiku # 60115, October 13, 2018 4:55 am ET
by dvd
these yellow flowers
quiet shy souls of nature
wait to be noticed
Haiku # 60114, October 13, 2018 3:23 am ET
by annacuppiecake of australia
David Letterman
Leapt to my desk like a cat
Showed me his ding dong
Haiku # 60113, October 12, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by Meow
Don't use mobile app
Online deposit function
Sperm on iPad screen
Haiku # 60112, October 12, 2018 11:28 pm ET
by Ralph Nader of Far Out
Hey, Look out below...
If we still used chamber pots
And had good manners
Haiku # 60111, October 12, 2018 11:24 pm ET
by Person who pees in office coffee pot of Near the Coffee Carafe
Invent something, dude
Rubic's Haikube or board game
Mow some lawns, paper route
Haiku # 60110, October 12, 2018 11:20 pm ET
by Path to Riches
Don't let others help.
They only get in the way.
Be your own boss-man.

All year long you will
be employee of the month.
But there's a downside.

Masturbation is
workplace sexual assault
when you're self-employed.

Own your own sperm bank.
Self-enjoyed is self-employed.
Deposit withdrawals.
Haiku # 60109, October 12, 2018 11:15 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Think about it
African American
Elon Musk is one
Haiku # 60108, October 12, 2018 10:07 pm ET
by Food For Thought of Meatspace
old t shirt for sale
on email website, the quiet
bookstore nook i found

still exists...goodbye
malfunctioning internet world
hello meat space again
Haiku # 60107, October 12, 2018 10:04 pm ET
by vhs
this had better work
lord vader... we are risking
much with this gamble...
Haiku # 60106, October 12, 2018 9:37 pm ET
by vhs
things aren't working
like I'd like because i let
others help me out
Haiku # 60105, October 12, 2018 9:34 pm ET
by vhs
disgust, fear, anger
frustration, demonstrations
rhetoric
Haiku # 60104, October 12, 2018 9:31 pm ET
by vhs
Haikupotamous
Plugged up Snuffleupagus
Giant Enema
Haiku # 60103, October 12, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wringing my hands now
How could God let this happen
Why is He so mean?
Haiku # 60102, October 12, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by Creeped out of Not in Church
Neanderthal child
Sesame Street on Lockdown
Big Bird ate the kid
Haiku # 60101, October 12, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Roving Reporter John Boy Walton's mole of John Boy Walton's face
Just ate a burger
I figure nothing to lose
Morgellons. It's Hell
Haiku # 60100, October 12, 2018 7:01 pm ET
by A living Hell of Disease
I want hamburgers.
I know, beef is bad for you.
As bad as Thai whores?

Raw, bloody, with AIDS,
and addicted to strange drugs.
The cows, not the whores.
Haiku # 60099, October 12, 2018 6:37 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I would be jailed there
My feet are very ugly
They don't smell bad though
Haiku # 60098, October 12, 2018 6:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What I liked best was
the stir-fried insects, but don't
buy from street vendors.

Too much MSG.
I like my bugs natural.
Honest bug dealer.

heh heh...
Haiku # 60097, October 12, 2018 6:30 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Leaving wife and kids?
Gautauma Sidhartha would
know all about that.

He whored around too.
Said he was under a tree.
They believed that shit!

Say that in Thailand
and you'll spend life in prison.
Fucking religion.
Haiku # 60096, October 12, 2018 6:26 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Bite the monkeys back.
Your responsibility.
You have to teach them.
Haiku # 60095, October 12, 2018 6:20 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A whiz with numbers
Born with eleven fingers
That's just on one hand
Haiku # 60094, October 12, 2018 5:49 pm ET
by Human Calculator
Old Mr. Fritzl
Enjoyed Thailand Vacation
Left the family home
Haiku # 60093, October 12, 2018 3:56 pm ET
by Dungeons and Daughters Enthusiasts
I have a webbed ass
The crack starts. Stops. Starts again.
Thank you for your time
Haiku # 60092, October 12, 2018 3:52 pm ET
by Slightly Webbed Ass Cracks of PNW
The biting monkeys
Attacked them on Thailand trip
Extended Vacay
Haiku # 60091, October 12, 2018 3:50 pm ET
by For course of rabies shots of Monkey business
Haiku of Hardware
Refrigerators
More bad refrigerators
Refrigerator
Haiku # 60090, October 12, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
One Mississipi
Two Mississipi rivers
Three Mississipi
(Haiku of Waiting)
Haiku # 60089, October 12, 2018 3:15 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
Poems are weird
Haikus are way weirder than-
Limited syllab-
Haiku # 60088, October 12, 2018 3:14 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
Been to Thailand twice.
The sex and the food are great.
I recommend it.
Haiku # 60087, October 12, 2018 2:18 pm ET
by df
They stopped for Funyuns
Shared impulse to rob the store
Clerk tied to a chair
Haiku # 60086, October 12, 2018 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Autumn Goose Festival Time
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Haiku # 60085, October 12, 2018 12:42 pm ET
by Starkitten
Imagine D.P.
Moved to Thailand for the sex
Or was it the food?
Haiku # 60084, October 12, 2018 12:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The clock is ticking.
Thirty minutes to whore time.
Suck that dollar dick.

Mathematical
prostitution profession
makes me hate people.

Guess it beats starving.
Got bills to feed, kids to pay.
Or something like that.

Fucking straight lines.
y equals m x plus b.
Who can't do that shit?!

Rich spoiled Arabs.
Oil wealth makes them lazy.
Lucky me, I guess.
Haiku # 60083, October 12, 2018 7:35 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The Sphinx's sphincter
Don't want blue tincture pee pee.
Drinked her blue lotus.
Haiku # 60082, October 12, 2018 7:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Finally reached the Sphinx
Tried to fuck it up the ass
Never left the couch
Haiku # 60081, October 12, 2018 5:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sand in my anus
Soldiering on. Sunburnt crisp.
Stopped to wank once
Haiku # 60080, October 12, 2018 5:13 am ET
by Wanker
Unbelievable
Epic crotch rot and chafing
Crossing the desert
Haiku # 60079, October 12, 2018 5:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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