Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Old Mr. Fritzl
Enjoyed Thailand Vacation
Left the family home
Haiku # 60093, October 12, 2018 3:56 pm ET
by Dungeons and Daughters Enthusiasts
I have a webbed ass
The crack starts. Stops. Starts again.
Thank you for your time
Haiku # 60092, October 12, 2018 3:52 pm ET
by Slightly Webbed Ass Cracks of PNW
The biting monkeys
Attacked them on Thailand trip
Extended Vacay
Haiku # 60091, October 12, 2018 3:50 pm ET
by For course of rabies shots of Monkey business
Haiku of Hardware
Refrigerators
More bad refrigerators
Refrigerator
Haiku # 60090, October 12, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
One Mississipi
Two Mississipi rivers
Three Mississipi
(Haiku of Waiting)
Haiku # 60089, October 12, 2018 3:15 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
Poems are weird
Haikus are way weirder than-
Limited syllab-
Haiku # 60088, October 12, 2018 3:14 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
Been to Thailand twice.
The sex and the food are great.
I recommend it.
Haiku # 60087, October 12, 2018 2:18 pm ET
by df
They stopped for Funyuns
Shared impulse to rob the store
Clerk tied to a chair
Haiku # 60086, October 12, 2018 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Autumn Goose Festival Time
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Haiku # 60085, October 12, 2018 12:42 pm ET
by Starkitten
Imagine D.P.
Moved to Thailand for the sex
Or was it the food?
Haiku # 60084, October 12, 2018 12:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The clock is ticking.
Thirty minutes to whore time.
Suck that dollar dick.

Mathematical
prostitution profession
makes me hate people.

Guess it beats starving.
Got bills to feed, kids to pay.
Or something like that.

Fucking straight lines.
y equals m x plus b.
Who can't do that shit?!

Rich spoiled Arabs.
Oil wealth makes them lazy.
Lucky me, I guess.
Haiku # 60083, October 12, 2018 7:35 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The Sphinx's sphincter
Don't want blue tincture pee pee.
Drinked her blue lotus.
Haiku # 60082, October 12, 2018 7:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Finally reached the Sphinx
Tried to fuck it up the ass
Never left the couch
Haiku # 60081, October 12, 2018 5:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sand in my anus
Soldiering on. Sunburnt crisp.
Stopped to wank once
Haiku # 60080, October 12, 2018 5:13 am ET
by Wanker
Unbelievable
Epic crotch rot and chafing
Crossing the desert
Haiku # 60079, October 12, 2018 5:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't drink the water
We were thirsty. Drank it all
Started pissing blue
Haiku # 60078, October 12, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Toxic
Bone dry camel's dung
Crumbled. Rolled up in Zig Zags
Walked like Egyptians
Haiku # 60077, October 12, 2018 4:56 am ET
by Dung smokers
Monsters at the gate.
Should I allow them access?
They enjoy my flute.
Haiku # 60076, October 12, 2018 4:56 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hoisted her hiney.
Tiny shiny vaginy.
Tastes rather briny.
Haiku # 60075, October 12, 2018 4:54 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
They oft eat sea food,
retaining much mercury,
dulling their IQ.
Haiku # 60074, October 12, 2018 4:40 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hannibal Lecter's
in the mood for a rude dude
to become fine food.
Haiku # 60073, October 12, 2018 4:38 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Promiscuity.
Puerile penile projectile. ~o ~o
Prematurity.
Haiku # 60072, October 12, 2018 4:28 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It's customary
Vomit in your dinner plate
When finished dining
Haiku # 60071, October 12, 2018 4:21 am ET
by Show gratitude to chef
Empty Rice Bowl Mind
Clear night for remote viewing
You'll get a stiff neck
Haiku # 60070, October 12, 2018 4:10 am ET
by You should sit up straight
I have a bunch of small cuts
All over my hands and I'm worried
I'll get staph or MRSA
Haiku # 60069, October 12, 2018 3:57 am ET
by Simpleton
The server at the Chinese food place
Is extremely flamboyant
Therefore I distrust him immensely
Haiku # 60068, October 12, 2018 3:57 am ET
by Simpleton
Why aren't plastic goods
Made to be compostable?
It's like pollution is intentional
Haiku # 60067, October 12, 2018 3:56 am ET
by Simpleton
When Hollywood goes full retard
They will begin to make remakes
Of their previous remakes
Haiku # 60066, October 12, 2018 3:54 am ET
by Simpleton
Have you ever asked someone
How their day is going and then
Accidentally ask them again?
Haiku # 60065, October 12, 2018 3:51 am ET
by Simpleton
This site is strange
I don't know what a haiku is
Or how I got here
Haiku # 60064, October 12, 2018 3:50 am ET
by Simpleton
I enjoy other cultures
They have a variety of different foods
Which I like to eat
Haiku # 60063, October 12, 2018 3:50 am ET
by Simpleton
Bubble up just lke...
Oh, you know where I'm going.
More toilet humor.

I know... sometimes life is too much.
I try to clean up litter in a 3rd world shithole and people look at me like I'm a lunatic. Almost wishing I'd stayed in the US. Might return some day... or maybe Europe or Australia. Tired of being around those who don't know and don't care and just point the way to the next 10 cent synthetic meal and glue huffers and too many hand held out to you, thinking you'll save them, not knowing they can do that themselves if only they would try.

Now you've got me started. Ah, life.
Haiku # 60062, October 11, 2018 11:03 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
DF Poor Eyesight
Brown Bubbles in Bathysphere
Smelly Aero Bar
Haiku # 60061, October 11, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by No worries of Car Wash
i enjoyed writing
those "unhinged" poems, but it
was more cathartic

sometimes i feel those
things have to bubble up else
they will blow on up
Haiku # 60060, October 11, 2018 9:38 pm ET
by vhs
sometimes people just
bearing their honests feelings
and thoughts....scary...
Haiku # 60059, October 11, 2018 9:34 pm ET
by vhs
Oops, sorry 'bout that.
I swear I thought that was soap.
Hard and slippery.
Haiku # 60058, October 11, 2018 8:22 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I hope you don't mind.
My farts make a Jacuzzi.
Pink stinky bubbles.
Haiku # 60057, October 11, 2018 8:19 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
My Haiku brothers
Hop in my pink bathysphere
Ride around the sea
Haiku # 60056, October 11, 2018 7:36 pm ET
by Friendly Starkitten of Pep Rally for our friend. Give me a V...H...S!!
Hey, even Yoda bailed.
Death is for corpses.
"To cheat death is a power only one has achieved."

Anyway, back to real live. I have work to do... fucking chem lab report for some damn Arab student too lazy to do his own work. Fuck I hate lab reports.
Haiku # 60055, October 11, 2018 7:20 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
We should waste time on Facebook?! Fuck that!
Haiku # 60054, October 11, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Figpucker is fake
He is not ready to DIE.
He is a lightweight.
Haiku # 60053, October 11, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by Haiku sucks my mama's wizened tit
I think what this world needs is an extremist moderate party. Is that possible... You know, like exile all hippies and KKK/nazis to go live in... I don't know. Say New Jersey. Set up streaming webcams all around that people can outside (the moderates) can pay to watch. Use the money raised to fund education.
Haiku # 60052, October 11, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
You fucking losers
wasting time on this website
exactly like me
Haiku # 60051, October 11, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by associating myself with this shit, I show my lack of social propriety
Okay, all joking and fuckery aside.
Starkitten is right. VHS, you do sound a bit stressed out.
Anything here is all for shits and giggles, however horrible it may sound.

The world is getting fucked up, yes. I think mostly overpopulation and undereducated masses taking over. Ignorance is the doorway to hatred, and things snowball out of control. Just try to stay out of the avalanche. Be safe, don't stress. Change maybe fast or slow, but it happens. It may be ugly, but don't fear what you cannot prevent. Accept what you cannot control.

Fuck... I sound more like Yoda than some fucking Dark Lord of the Sith. What the hell disease did that mosquito infect me with?!
Haiku # 60050, October 11, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Civil war coming
in fact, it's already here.
So eat my Haiku...
Haiku # 60049, October 11, 2018 7:08 pm ET
by the time you wake up, rivers of blood will be spilled
For the rest of you:
"yo mama so damn NASTY
she voted for TRUMP!"
Haiku # 60048, October 11, 2018 7:04 pm ET
by playing the dozens, one is assured of cultural deplorability
A scary movie?
House of 1000 Corpses.
That thing is fucked up!
Haiku # 60047, October 11, 2018 7:01 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
OK, VHS
I am on your side, I think
but you sound unhinged
Haiku # 60046, October 11, 2018 7:00 pm ET
by keep it haiku by rule of five-seven-five
Happiness is a
bloody swatted mosquito
that had just bit you.

Today will be good.
Tomorrow will be better.
ALL MOSQUITOES DIE!
Haiku # 60045, October 11, 2018 6:59 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hey now, that's not nice.
Don't make fun of poets' moms.
I feel bad for them.

For the moms, I mean.
Imagine your kid being
a haiku poet.

Not a pretty thought.
Gives me the heebie jeebies.
Well, more than "The Nun".
Haiku # 60044, October 11, 2018 6:55 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of Don't see "The Nun"... what a joke.
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