BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
127 Days
and
63043 Haikus
later...
Unbelievable
Epic crotch rot and chafing
Crossing the desert
Haiku #60079, by Anonymous Poet
October 12, 2018 5:10 am ET

Don't drink the water
We were thirsty. Drank it all
Started pissing blue
Haiku #60078, by Toxic
October 12, 2018 5:01 am ET

Bone dry camel's dung
Crumbled. Rolled up in Zig Zags
Walked like Egyptians
Haiku #60077, by Dung smokers
October 12, 2018 4:56 am ET

Monsters at the gate.
Should I allow them access?
They enjoy my flute.
Haiku #60076, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 12, 2018 4:56 am ET

Hoisted her hiney.
Tiny shiny vaginy.
Tastes rather briny.
Haiku #60075, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 12, 2018 4:54 am ET

They oft eat sea food,
retaining much mercury,
dulling their IQ.
Haiku #60074, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 12, 2018 4:40 am ET

Hannibal Lecter's
in the mood for a rude dude
to become fine food.
Haiku #60073, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 12, 2018 4:38 am ET

Promiscuity.
Puerile penile projectile. ~o ~o
Prematurity.
Haiku #60072, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 12, 2018 4:28 am ET

It's customary
Vomit in your dinner plate
When finished dining
Haiku #60071, by Show gratitude to chef
October 12, 2018 4:21 am ET

Empty Rice Bowl Mind
Clear night for remote viewing
You'll get a stiff neck
Haiku #60070, by You should sit up straight
October 12, 2018 4:10 am ET

I have a bunch of small cuts
All over my hands and I'm worried
I'll get staph or MRSA
Haiku #60069, by Simpleton
October 12, 2018 3:57 am ET

The server at the Chinese food place
Is extremely flamboyant
Therefore I distrust him immensely
Haiku #60068, by Simpleton
October 12, 2018 3:57 am ET

Why aren't plastic goods
Made to be compostable?
It's like pollution is intentional
Haiku #60067, by Simpleton
October 12, 2018 3:56 am ET

When Hollywood goes full retard
They will begin to make remakes
Of their previous remakes
Haiku #60066, by Simpleton
October 12, 2018 3:54 am ET

Have you ever asked someone
How their day is going and then
Accidentally ask them again?
Haiku #60065, by Simpleton
October 12, 2018 3:51 am ET

This site is strange
I don't know what a haiku is
Or how I got here
Haiku #60064, by Simpleton
October 12, 2018 3:50 am ET

I enjoy other cultures
They have a variety of different foods
Which I like to eat
Haiku #60063, by Simpleton
October 12, 2018 3:50 am ET

Bubble up just lke...
Oh, you know where I'm going.
More toilet humor.

I know... sometimes life is too much.
I try to clean up litter in a 3rd world shithole and people look at me like I'm a lunatic. Almost wishing I'd stayed in the US. Might return some day... or maybe Europe or Australia. Tired of being around those who don't know and don't care and just point the way to the next 10 cent synthetic meal and glue huffers and too many hand held out to you, thinking you'll save them, not knowing they can do that themselves if only they would try.

Now you've got me started. Ah, life.
Haiku #60062, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 11:03 pm ET

DF Poor Eyesight
Brown Bubbles in Bathysphere
Smelly Aero Bar
Haiku #60061, by No worries of Car Wash
October 11, 2018 11:02 pm ET

i enjoyed writing
those "unhinged" poems, but it
was more cathartic

sometimes i feel those
things have to bubble up else
they will blow on up
Haiku #60060, by vhs
October 11, 2018 9:38 pm ET

sometimes people just
bearing their honests feelings
and thoughts....scary...
Haiku #60059, by vhs
October 11, 2018 9:34 pm ET

Oops, sorry 'bout that.
I swear I thought that was soap.
Hard and slippery.
Haiku #60058, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 8:22 pm ET

I hope you don't mind.
My farts make a Jacuzzi.
Pink stinky bubbles.
Haiku #60057, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 8:19 pm ET

My Haiku brothers
Hop in my pink bathysphere
Ride around the sea
Haiku #60056, by Friendly Starkitten of Pep Rally for our friend. Give me a V...H...S!!
October 11, 2018 7:36 pm ET

Hey, even Yoda bailed.
Death is for corpses.
"To cheat death is a power only one has achieved."

Anyway, back to real live. I have work to do... fucking chem lab report for some damn Arab student too lazy to do his own work. Fuck I hate lab reports.
Haiku #60055, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 7:20 pm ET

We should waste time on Facebook?! Fuck that!
Haiku #60054, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 7:17 pm ET

Figpucker is fake
He is not ready to DIE.
He is a lightweight.
Haiku #60053, by Haiku sucks my mama's wizened tit
October 11, 2018 7:17 pm ET

I think what this world needs is an extremist moderate party. Is that possible... You know, like exile all hippies and KKK/nazis to go live in... I don't know. Say New Jersey. Set up streaming webcams all around that people can outside (the moderates) can pay to watch. Use the money raised to fund education.
Haiku #60052, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 7:17 pm ET

You fucking losers
wasting time on this website
exactly like me
Haiku #60051, by associating myself with this shit, I show my lack of social propriety
October 11, 2018 7:14 pm ET

Okay, all joking and fuckery aside.
Starkitten is right. VHS, you do sound a bit stressed out.
Anything here is all for shits and giggles, however horrible it may sound.

The world is getting fucked up, yes. I think mostly overpopulation and undereducated masses taking over. Ignorance is the doorway to hatred, and things snowball out of control. Just try to stay out of the avalanche. Be safe, don't stress. Change maybe fast or slow, but it happens. It may be ugly, but don't fear what you cannot prevent. Accept what you cannot control.

Fuck... I sound more like Yoda than some fucking Dark Lord of the Sith. What the hell disease did that mosquito infect me with?!
Haiku #60050, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 7:12 pm ET

Civil war coming
in fact, it's already here.
So eat my Haiku...
Haiku #60049, by the time you wake up, rivers of blood will be spilled
October 11, 2018 7:08 pm ET

For the rest of you:
"yo mama so damn NASTY
she voted for TRUMP!"
Haiku #60048, by playing the dozens, one is assured of cultural deplorability
October 11, 2018 7:04 pm ET

A scary movie?
House of 1000 Corpses.
That thing is fucked up!
Haiku #60047, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 7:01 pm ET

OK, VHS
I am on your side, I think
but you sound unhinged
Haiku #60046, by keep it haiku by rule of five-seven-five
October 11, 2018 7:00 pm ET

Happiness is a
bloody swatted mosquito
that had just bit you.

Today will be good.
Tomorrow will be better.
ALL MOSQUITOES DIE!
Haiku #60045, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 6:59 pm ET

Hey now, that's not nice.
Don't make fun of poets' moms.
I feel bad for them.

For the moms, I mean.
Imagine your kid being
a haiku poet.

Not a pretty thought.
Gives me the heebie jeebies.
Well, more than "The Nun".
Haiku #60044, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of Don't see "The Nun"... what a joke.
October 11, 2018 6:55 pm ET

Yo' momma so low-
class she laughs at yo' momma
jokes on this website.
Haiku #60043, by DARTH TINYCOCKSMELLSLIKEPIGSHIT
October 11, 2018 6:37 pm ET

Yo' momma so dumb
she thinks gross income is cash
put in her g-string.
Haiku #60042, by DARTH TINYCOCKSMELLSLIKEPIGSHIT
October 11, 2018 6:36 pm ET

Yo momma so loose
she thinks elbow grease is a
sexual lube.
Haiku #60041, by DARTH TINYCOCKSMELLSLIKEPIGSHIT
October 11, 2018 6:32 pm ET

Just sold a painting
You screaming in the mirror
One million dollars
Haiku #60040, by Starkitten of MassMoca
October 11, 2018 4:08 pm ET

Well in my spare time
Stare at myself in mirror
And just scream loudly
Haiku #60039, by DARTH PIGTICKLER
October 11, 2018 3:27 pm ET

Let me wash your ass
I'll sell the dingleberries
At Farmer's Market
Haiku #60038, by Ambitious
October 11, 2018 2:44 pm ET

Benjamin Franklin
Warming his hairy denoinks
Near the Franklin Stove
Haiku #60037, by Starkitten of The Dude Abides
October 11, 2018 2:27 pm ET

Plymouth Belvedere
This car climbed Mt. Washington
Yaz, who loves ya Baby
Haiku #60036, by Bumper stickers of Yesterday of Meow
October 11, 2018 2:23 pm ET

Conjoined headless twin
Forcing me to wear white pants
After Labour Day
Haiku #60035, by Anonymous Poet
October 11, 2018 12:20 pm ET

Stay on Google Plus.
Lots of T&A on there.
Stress relief, you know.
Haiku #60034, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 11:31 am ET

Stop watching the "news".
Shut down Facebook and Twitter.
Then you will find peace.
Haiku #60033, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 11:29 am ET

Rats flee a doomed ship.
Long before it starts to sink.
Swimming to safety.

Not an easy trip.
But going down with the ship,
for captains, not rats.
Haiku #60032, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 11, 2018 11:25 am ET

anyhow well
well well...
Haiku #60031, by vhs
October 11, 2018 8:42 am ET

why eat the flesh of
an undead toxic swine? let
it rot and burn and

let the world be purified
the world is in a kind of war right
now, so of course people are
acting, fucked up, the loonies
and their programmed slaves are
lashing out on script
Haiku #60030, by vhs
October 11, 2018 8:35 am ET