Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Chicken shaped Flesh Light
A sound investment. Hurry
Bok Bok Bok BOKKAaaaaaah
Haiku # 60023, October 11, 2018 4:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I see what you mean
Anthony Wiener. Poultry
True Chicken Fucker
Haiku # 60022, October 11, 2018 4:05 am ET
by Trump eats Pork
Pork bellies are up
And so is Edie Brickell
Mickey Finned Old Paul
Haiku # 60021, October 11, 2018 3:55 am ET
by Edie burp
The alien parasite mimics the DNA of its host to attain beneficial traits to its environment. While this is sci-fi, the human parasite (I mean to say we human beings) tend to develop traits of the animals they eat. Those who eat a lot of beef, get... beefy. Pork eaters tend to turn into gelatinous blobs and even have piggy little noses. Poultry eaters are jittery little fuckers. And poultry eaters on meth are highly dangerous. Perhaps you should stay away from cock-fights. But it really is goddamned fun to get wasted on cheap rum and watch a couple of roosters gore each other while grown men wave money around making crazy hand symbols like the NYSE back in the day down on the floor... before everything went digital and synthetic. Hmmm.... that's a funny looking haiku.
Haiku # 60020, October 11, 2018 3:44 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
sizzle snizzle zip
Zag rooty dip dooty
Pip pop zabadoo
Haiku # 60019, October 11, 2018 3:32 am ET
by Zabitty bop
right now this late hope
will only come back if i
turn this dang thing off
Haiku # 60018, October 11, 2018 3:32 am ET
by vhs
I came close to proving the Riemann hypothesis, but then her sweat dripped down and ruined everything.
Thanks a fucking lot!
Haiku # 60017, October 11, 2018 3:32 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Buying stocks is dumb.
Take your cash to a cock-fight.
Odds are way better.

Don't trust the Chinese.
The Japs had the right idea.
Maybe a bit harsh.

Pollution and greed.
Searching for eternal life.
What is the secret?

I will tell you now.
Endangered species souffle.
They believe that shit.

--- and you trusted them?!
Haiku # 60016, October 11, 2018 3:29 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
it still hurts to think
i put too much trust and coin
in on linewell, stuff
Haiku # 60015, October 11, 2018 3:19 am ET
by vhs
when the heart moves on
the world of man passes to
a place matters not
Haiku # 60014, October 11, 2018 3:11 am ET
by vhs
Make use of the space
Mathematical Equations
Solved on her rear end
Haiku # 60013, October 11, 2018 1:05 am ET
by Wipe-off Markers
Caress your curvy one
Kiss her dimpled derrière
Use the Nine Iron
Haiku # 60012, October 11, 2018 1:03 am ET
by Tiger Woods left me stranded of Subway
I need a mistress.
My wife's ass is way too fat.
Time to go shopping.
Haiku # 60011, October 11, 2018 12:58 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Merv Griffin's guffaw
May it haunt you til end times
Bwah ha ha ha ha!
Haiku # 60010, October 11, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Jack Albertson's cock
Like a dying leather worm
Shriveled in the sun
Haiku # 60009, October 11, 2018 12:46 am ET
by Memories of Old Penises of Sunny side of the street
Up in the Heavens
Come back down! Try some burping
Like Jack Albertson
Haiku # 60008, October 11, 2018 12:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There he goes again
Balloon Boy! Fetch the Pea Shooter
Needs more Lunchables
Haiku # 60007, October 11, 2018 12:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I like getting high
on the farts of C'thulu.
Mylar balloon bliss.
Haiku # 60006, October 11, 2018 12:35 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
You want to get big?
Rub stinging nettles on it.
Just a little bit.
Haiku # 60005, October 11, 2018 12:32 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A mole of golf balls
would cover Earth three miles deep.
Save us, Tiger Woods!
Haiku # 60004, October 11, 2018 12:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A mole of moles' moles.
Six point oh two two times ten
to the twenty third.

That's hella lot of
burrowing rodent skin growths.
More than I could count.
Haiku # 60003, October 11, 2018 12:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Eat me, eat me raw!
... or cooked; it doesn't matter.
I might give you gas.
Haiku # 60002, October 11, 2018 12:21 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Prayer's to C'thulu:
Please eat all poets on earth.
Haiku poets first.
Haiku # 60001, October 11, 2018 12:20 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
John Boy Walton's mole
Not of Italian descent
But kinda greasy
Haiku # 60000, October 11, 2018 12:01 am ET
by Up Close of In ya face
Whatever you do
Don't say "Damn the Dead."
Ok, I warned you
Haiku # 59999, October 10, 2018 11:59 pm ET
by Don't say it of Don't even think about it
Crazy Italians
Putting saints in the windows
To fight the thunder
Haiku # 59998, October 10, 2018 11:57 pm ET
by Crazy Italians of The Gut
Night crawling was fun
Sometimes the worms were screwing
Sometimes broke in half
Haiku # 59997, October 10, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by Night Crawlers of 5 cents plus I put in my 2 cents. You do the math.
Mortar and pestle
Medicate your family
So satisfying
Haiku # 59996, October 10, 2018 11:49 pm ET
by Seinfeld's Plagiarist Wife of Liquor Store
Noah's ark happened.
So there's no more dinosaurs.
They were too damn big.
Haiku # 59995, October 10, 2018 11:48 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hail Satan, yo.
Him and his giant red ass.
Who can't worship that?!
Haiku # 59994, October 10, 2018 11:33 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Fun activity
Empty out box full of snakes
And stomp their brains out!
Haiku # 59993, October 10, 2018 11:15 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
prayer
Haiku # 59992, October 10, 2018 10:32 pm ET
by vhs
Agoraphobics
We are going out the door
But not ready yet
Haiku # 59991, October 10, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Inside
Neither a cover, nor sophisticated, deadhead distribution of LSD was (and to some extent still remains) blatant and open, clumsy and careless. "Rainbow" gatherings, burning man, and many other festivals have followed suit. It's no secret. Nothing is hidden. The DEA is a bunch of idiots.
Haiku # 59990, October 10, 2018 7:58 pm ET
by df
Word play ha-penis.
Tits, ass, and cunnilingus.
Insert silliness.
Haiku # 59989, October 10, 2018 7:22 pm ET
by Starshittin
Brittle toe nails.
Like an old hag casting spells.
But I've no magic.
Haiku # 59988, October 10, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Restrung my guitar
Ate British savory pie
Down on my knees now
Haiku # 59987, October 10, 2018 5:39 pm ET
by Praying
You must (must!) be saved
but the weird thing about it,
your own will: useless
Haiku # 59986, October 10, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by the stench of it all was getting to me
Bare Necessities
Will need G-string and pasties
Then go to the bank
Haiku # 59985, October 10, 2018 4:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of A bit nippy
Donna Godchaux's voice
Proven to cause brain damage
Tune out. Take Tylenol
Haiku # 59984, October 10, 2018 3:47 pm ET
by Deadhead
According to the
DEA the Grateful Dead
Sophisticated

Cover for the sale
Distribution LSD
Bunch of silly squares
Haiku # 59983, October 10, 2018 2:29 pm ET
by Hipster of Starbucks
Vegan Parmesan
Try Parma! Original
Starkitten Approved
Haiku # 59982, October 10, 2018 2:15 pm ET
by Starkitten
Ain't no Peter Popoff
He sent me mystery oil
Like GG Allin
Haiku # 59981, October 10, 2018 2:12 pm ET
by Post Office of Sealed for your Protection
Solved your worm problem
Telepathy and Magnets
Anal Exodus

Be near a latrine
There may be some slight cramping
Noticed you have crabs
Haiku # 59980, October 10, 2018 2:02 pm ET
by Doctor Haikuna Matata of Village of the Ashes
celestial glories
eternal transcendental
God alone: holy
Haiku # 59979, October 10, 2018 12:50 pm ET
by multiple faces of the cherubim
That's a three way bulb
Much safer than candlesticks
Illuminated
Haiku # 59978, October 10, 2018 11:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I am perverted
Everything is terrible
Insert gross action
Haiku # 59977, October 10, 2018 11:06 am ET
by DARTH PIGTICKLER of Inserting Lightbulb Somewhere
Dude, that Figpucker
has a cesspool for a mind
so, I'm out of here
Haiku # 59976, October 10, 2018 8:21 am ET
by To be carnally minded is DEATH
Oh sir voodoo man,
please charm the worms from my gut.
Damn shithole countries.
Haiku # 59975, October 10, 2018 5:14 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I had a vision.
Plumber voodoo snake charmer.
Voo doo-doo be gone.

Flute made of pure lead.
Ass crack profoundly displayed.
Red dot on forehead.
Haiku # 59974, October 10, 2018 5:13 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
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