Caress your curvy one
Kiss her dimpled derrière
Use the Nine Iron

I need a mistress.
My wife's ass is way too fat.
Time to go shopping.

Merv Griffin's guffaw
May it haunt you til end times
Bwah ha ha ha ha!

Jack Albertson's cock
Like a dying leather worm
Shriveled in the sun

Up in the Heavens
Come back down! Try some burping
Like Jack Albertson

There he goes again
Balloon Boy! Fetch the Pea Shooter
Needs more Lunchables

I like getting high
on the farts of C'thulu.
Mylar balloon bliss.

You want to get big?
Rub stinging nettles on it.
Just a little bit.

A mole of golf balls
would cover Earth three miles deep.
Save us, Tiger Woods!

A mole of moles' moles.
Six point oh two two times ten
to the twenty third.

That's hella lot of
burrowing rodent skin growths.
More than I could count.

Eat me, eat me raw!
... or cooked; it doesn't matter.
I might give you gas.

Prayer's to C'thulu:
Please eat all poets on earth.
Haiku poets first.

John Boy Walton's mole
Not of Italian descent
But kinda greasy

Whatever you do
Don't say "Damn the Dead."
Ok, I warned you

Crazy Italians
Putting saints in the windows
To fight the thunder

Night crawling was fun
Sometimes the worms were screwing
Sometimes broke in half

Mortar and pestle
Medicate your family
So satisfying

Noah's ark happened.
So there's no more dinosaurs.
They were too damn big.

Hail Satan, yo.
Him and his giant red ass.
Who can't worship that?!

Fun activity
Empty out box full of snakes
And stomp their brains out!

prayer

Agoraphobics
We are going out the door
But not ready yet

Neither a cover, nor sophisticated, deadhead distribution of LSD was (and to some extent still remains) blatant and open, clumsy and careless. "Rainbow" gatherings, burning man, and many other festivals have followed suit. It's no secret. Nothing is hidden. The DEA is a bunch of idiots.

Word play ha-penis.
Tits, ass, and cunnilingus.
Insert silliness.

Brittle toe nails.
Like an old hag casting spells.
But I've no magic.

Restrung my guitar
Ate British savory pie
Down on my knees now

You must (must!) be saved
but the weird thing about it,
your own will: useless

Bare Necessities
Will need G-string and pasties
Then go to the bank

Donna Godchaux's voice
Proven to cause brain damage
Tune out. Take Tylenol

According to the
DEA the Grateful Dead
Sophisticated

Cover for the sale
Distribution LSD
Bunch of silly squares

Vegan Parmesan
Try Parma! Original
Starkitten Approved

Ain't no Peter Popoff
He sent me mystery oil
Like GG Allin

Solved your worm problem
Telepathy and Magnets
Anal Exodus

Be near a latrine
There may be some slight cramping
Noticed you have crabs

celestial glories
eternal transcendental
God alone: holy

That's a three way bulb
Much safer than candlesticks
Illuminated

I am perverted
Everything is terrible
Insert gross action

Dude, that Figpucker
has a cesspool for a mind
so, I'm out of here

Oh sir voodoo man,
please charm the worms from my gut.
Damn shithole countries.

I had a vision.
Plumber voodoo snake charmer.
Voo doo-doo be gone.

Flute made of pure lead.
Ass crack profoundly displayed.
Red dot on forehead.

Much like this website,
I've picked up a parasite.
Figpuckeritis.

Sneak up plumbers
Dildo Ambush from behind
Toilet snake appears

One day you'll own it
Do they provide galoshes?
Why not show your junk?

Roughly mopping floors.
My porno theater job.
Hey, it pays the bills.

Looked under the sink
Dr. Bronner's. You wrote that!?
We're All One Or None!!

My fave sex toy is
the inflatable T-Rex
with her battle scars.

Look under the sink.
There you'll find my poetry.
Counter's bottom side.

It is not easy.
I lay down on dirty floors.
Writing where none see.

Gently mopping floors
Listening to swing music
Please don't ask me why

10 holes to choose from
They all smell bad but stuff your
Fingers inside them

Waiting turns me on
That's called autoerotic
Procrastination

Yeah I need this place
Same way I need a shotgun
Blast straight to my face

I pack coffee shops
Where hipsters line up to hear
Me lay down haikus