Question for the boys
When an Octopus jerks off
Grab dink with 8 arms?

Bring your French Tickler
I'll be waiting at airport
Captain Feathersword

Henry Octopus
Fruit Salad..Mashed banana
Cephalopod Porn

The Church, The Wiggles
Two great bands from Down Under
Nudge Nudge and wink wink

Your Haiku is large
Try low mileage vaginas
Ask for Starkitten

Harrumph to you, good sir!
Harrumph, I say!

You should not sniff ass.
It is disgusting and wrong.
That is what dogs do.

I must hypothesize that Don Hertzfeldt's spoon and banana were symbols of a penis and vagina. Though no one would typically eat a banana with a spoon unless the banana was in cereal or perhaps mashed into some kind of dessert but I have heard sex referred to as "mashing" that pussy, so maybe the mashed banana was referring to a vagina needing to be mashed by a large penis.

My spoon is too big. My spoon is too big. My spoon is too big.
You can feel the frustration of having a penis that is too large and no woman would want it.
But then along comes the giant walking banana.
I am a banana.
And everything is set right with the world. The giant walking banana can be mashed and eaten by the giant spoon. Or the enormous gaping snatch finally finds a penis worthy of its incredibly wide diameter.

Our library card?
Why, yes. It's pink and quite hard
I'll check your pocket

Starkitten Movie
Starring James Caannilingus
Cumming soon near you!

Once upon a squirt
Cunnilingus in a yurt
A bedtime haiku

Sun has set here on
Bad Haiku - good night good night
Wake up less evil

Gardening at night
Grab it by the stipe
Phallic Murshroom Hunt

Babylon a FALL.
Babylon shall not prevail.
JAH Rasta soon come . . .

When my Celia walks
your mama loses her shit.
Celia rules. You lose.

Forget libraries.
We're talking about rebirth.
Can't you just wake up?

Calling all bookworms
Do-Me Decimal System
Put to good use here

Alpha Centauri
Beta masquerading cuck
Cut his balls off. NOW.

Don't you dare touch my
Celia - or I'll have to
Dissolve your ego

Outstanding in field
The centaur of attention
Named to Hall of Oats

Slip it in your slot?
After all, it's overdue.
In library? Fine . . .

Wild horse meets tame horse
And notices the rider
Quite an expression

Hectic day again
Self employed Librarian
Try my new book slot

Come on, walk right through
Starkitten expecting you
Law of Bad Haiku

Hood of your car, Babe
Drive through a crowd. New Year's Eve.
Show them your Dick Clark

Geriatric stunt
Spelunking in Grandma's Cunt
Fallen. Can't get up.

Punch the juke box,Fonz
Happy Days are here again!
Drive In Circle Jerk!!

Ocean Getaway
Buried in sand. Head sticking out.
FREAKING LITTERBOX!!

Don't be embarrassed
Pull your pants down now, my friend
Best haiku is short

Submit to me now.
Submit to my bad Haiku.
Go on. Just DO IT

Yeah, But HILLARY !
Come on, you know; Dame Clinton.
The one with that . . . thing.

Pop'n Fresh cutie
Cornered him in the pantry
Hardcore Doughgasm

Starkitten's moist book;
not sure I wanna read it.
Is it legible?

By you reading this
Proof you had sex with him:
John Boy Walton's mole

Esteemed Starkitten:
Can you do another one
about Hillary?

Slept through the orgy
Making up for lost time now
Bad Haikugasm

Compulsive Haiku:
Ephemeral poetry
Tossed into the void

Gynecologist
Face Plant. Tuna Casserole.
Worked straight through lunch

Hey, I jacked off, I don't know about the rest of you.... do we need to coordinate it? How about noon tomorrow, EST. Is that good for everyone?

Give me more info.
Write a creative by-line.
Then I'll know it's you!

If you're bored with porn.
Why not try a prostitute?
What is there to lose?

Well, yeah, there's money.
And you could get HIV.
It beats suicide.

Go on, blow some cash.
Go crazy, live a little.
You might just like her.

Read her your poems.
Show her bad haiku dot com.
Go on, we're waiting.

So . . . that circle jerk;
what happened to it, poets;
Did your muses leave?

What's the worse part about safe sex?
Stopping to click the mouse.
...And a sticky keyboard if you're not careful.

Do not waste your life.
Drive your car into a crowd.
Claim you were possessed.

Seek resolution
on Oprah or some talk show.
You will be famous.

That craving for porn;
say you don't ever get it
and I say you lie.

The Sabaeans or Sabeans (Arabic: اَلـسَّـبَـئِـيُّـون‎, as-Saba

i could off myself
in real life, no more porn or
haiku from me, so

i think ill stick around even though i feel
bad today ive menial work to do

The Queen of Sheba
must have had a clitoris.
Or was she Muslim?

You ever had hope?
I mean... how naive are you?
All species die; ours too.

Extinction is good.
It is all God's perfect plan.
blah blah blah blah blah.

Did Allah tell you
To sew their vaginas shut?
Hell rises with you.