Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Watch for bad mushroom
You might land on a "fungi"
With a bad disease
Haiku # 59370, September 14, 2018 9:04 pm ET
by Starkitten
Try nude somersaults
In your front yard or a park
Careful after dark
Haiku # 59369, September 14, 2018 9:03 pm ET
by Starkitten
Yes, Cunnilingus.
Mathematician in the house?
Calories burned/hour
Haiku # 59368, September 14, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fuck Sylvia Plath.
Dig up her bones and fuck them.
Put one up your ass.
Haiku # 59367, September 14, 2018 8:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I would like to lose
about thirty pounds or more
to run marathons.
Haiku # 59366, September 14, 2018 8:56 pm ET
by
mmhmm, i don't think
she had that great a deal for
a husband right there
Haiku # 59365, September 14, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by Goku! of the why for sylvia plath
Counting syllables
is for samurai who wished
they were bookkeepers.
Haiku # 59364, September 14, 2018 8:42 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Well, it's obvious
that Starkitten's obsession
is cunnilingus.

Cat that eats pussy.
Surely cannibalism.
But which one comes first?

Simultaneous
cannibalistic feline
ejaculation.
Haiku # 59363, September 14, 2018 8:38 pm ET
by
A happy ending
If his name had been Ted Huge
Some Cunning Linguist
Haiku # 59362, September 14, 2018 8:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
Head in the oven,
Tortured, sefish, bad free verse.
Behold Plath: success !
Haiku # 59361, September 14, 2018 7:40 pm ET
by this time , I'm so sick of modernist poetry
Previewing Haiku
Like admiring a fresh turd
Before you flush it
Haiku # 59360, September 14, 2018 6:45 pm ET
by Starkitten
Please make this happen
Bono Vox and Cher team up
Sing I got You Babe

Kind of a klutz too
Wiped out on bike. Central Park.
Not sure if he skis
Haiku # 59359, September 14, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Starkitten
Your private juices
Just a dab behind your ear
That will do the trick
Haiku # 59358, September 14, 2018 2:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Starkitten
Head in the oven.
Taken from behind, again!
Can't get housework done!!
Haiku # 59357, September 14, 2018 2:25 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fantasy Island
Blind man with no sense of smell
He's perfect for you
Haiku # 59356, September 14, 2018 2:23 pm ET
by Starkitten
A witchy cauldron
Cunnilingus Corn Maze. Run!
You will burn in Hell!
Haiku # 59355, September 14, 2018 2:18 pm ET
by Starkitten
Equine Jenga Game
Tower of Copulation
Looks like a hot mess!
Haiku # 59354, September 14, 2018 2:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
Now watch me neigh neigh
New Horseshoes! Clip Clop Clip Clop!
Road apples for you
Haiku # 59353, September 14, 2018 2:09 pm ET
by Starkitten
With the new enhanced neurons that Elon Musk is inventing kangaroos can be programmed to deliver packages in their pouches. Look out UPS, FedEx, and USPS!
Doesn't "Elon Musk" sound like a trashy perfume name?
I'm not a robot... yet. But perhaps soon... perhaps.
Haiku # 59352, September 14, 2018 1:25 pm ET
by
I will never stop
Tap dancing on your sidewalk
Schizophrenic bitch!
Haiku # 59351, September 14, 2018 12:01 pm ET
by Starkitten
Northern Exposure
The Farmers Market pervert
Cucumber in hand
Haiku # 59350, September 14, 2018 12:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
Grey Sky Festival
Fresh Haiku bubbling up
Straight from my gizzards
Haiku # 59349, September 14, 2018 11:57 am ET
by Starkitten
Stuck in the window
Like Magilla Gorilla
Just might go apeshit!
Haiku # 59348, September 14, 2018 11:54 am ET
by Starkitten
Tongues are wagging!
Ye Olde Cunnilingus Shoppe
The talk of the town
Haiku # 59347, September 14, 2018 11:26 am ET
by Starkitten
Rearranging things
Reversed your nose and penis
You're such a dickhead
Haiku # 59346, September 14, 2018 12:48 am ET
by Starkitten
Downward facing dong
Hot Yoga happy ending
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Haiku # 59345, September 14, 2018 12:39 am ET
by Starktten
bad santa
Haiku # 59344, September 13, 2018 10:51 pm ET
by vhs of q anon knows whos been naughty
Great mall memories
That's Ken Berry jacking off
In your Kinney shoe
Haiku # 59343, September 13, 2018 10:33 pm ET
by Starkitten
Hunched out in long coils
The turds of one thousand dogs
All in your honour
Haiku # 59342, September 13, 2018 10:25 pm ET
by Starkitten
Got my shopping done
Giving everyone Haiku
This one is for you
Haiku # 59341, September 13, 2018 10:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pictures with Santa
Your mom had her portrait done
Sitting on his dick
Haiku # 59340, September 13, 2018 10:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
woof woof woff, woof woof
woff bark bark woof howllll arf arf
woof woof woof...meow
Haiku # 59339, September 13, 2018 5:26 pm ET
by vhs of getting ready for the dogs barking jingle bells song
Mall walk stomach cramp?
Seen your telltale hopping dance
You methane shaman

Disappear like Jim
Come on baby light my fire
Blue flame blast your pants

Dirty underwear
Scattered on Dawn's Highway, huh?
Plus size Underoos?
Haiku # 59338, September 13, 2018 5:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
And I too, have been
That doomed stranger in the mall
Asking "who farted" ?
Haiku # 59337, September 13, 2018 3:06 pm ET
by no means denigrating your case of poetic flatulence
That breathy Bono:
Furious virtue-signaler
Hypocrite has-been.

Most of U2's songs
Are monotonous, and lack
Vibrant chord changes

Making up for it
In breathy histrionics
And churning fadeouts
Haiku # 59336, September 13, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by the way, most people haven't heard of Paul David what's his name
A thousand dog turds.
Was an incomplete sentence.
And another one.
Haiku # 59335, September 13, 2018 9:57 am ET
by
I have taken to
farting loudly as I walk
by strangers in malls.
Haiku # 59334, September 13, 2018 9:55 am ET
by
Her enormous cunt,
gushing like Niagara Falls,
drowned the little man.
Haiku # 59333, September 13, 2018 9:53 am ET
by
beaming into space
the facebook apocalypse
pouting narcissists

in dorito hues
instagram influencers
sell oblivion

our planet choking
in the rush to die pretty
ignorance distracts

it's all about me
aren't i the most important
as we go extinct
Haiku # 59332, September 13, 2018 5:44 am ET
by ash
chemotherapy
wasn't as bad as i thought
luckily for me

complete remission
at least for the time being
till something kills me
Haiku # 59331, September 13, 2018 5:30 am ET
by ash
being humorous
sure beats being tumorous
rather die laughing
Haiku # 59330, September 13, 2018 5:28 am ET
by ash
i got lymphoma
and seemed to become a cancer
formerly known as...
Haiku # 59329, September 13, 2018 5:26 am ET
by ash
and of course the end
of the beginning, the whole phantom menace debacle
Haiku # 59328, September 12, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by vhs of it was not that bad
names phrases words, vite
stimuli, some french dead guy
wrote a book just read
Haiku # 59327, September 12, 2018 7:18 pm ET
by vhs
Do the same old thing
Like the zombie that you are.
Then try a new way
Haiku # 59326, September 12, 2018 10:32 am ET
by learning to think of something beyond your SELF
Quick, make a "haiku"
Fling it out there like garbage
In order, then, to
Haiku # 59325, September 12, 2018 10:28 am ET
by create a new name of everlasting GLORY
You wear "Pussy Hat"?
Pussy is an orifice.
Ain't no hat involved.
Haiku # 59324, September 12, 2018 10:23 am ET
by Delusions of Feminism
The Book of Daniel
And St. John's Revelation:
Doomsday bestsellers
Haiku # 59323, September 12, 2018 10:17 am ET
by it's always the beginning of the End
a hurricane
and
more may be coming to do
the human clean up

so dead dare praised for
we live in the end times, again
so stories go
Haiku # 59322, September 11, 2018 10:24 pm ET
by vhs of hell and 666th
sometimes people want
to forget their humanity
to play anti God

they're still just human
hitler in a bunker was
The End for that then...

Hitler Parodies
Haiku # 59321, September 11, 2018 7:33 pm ET
by vhs
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