BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
215 Days
and
64997 Haikus
later...
Perhaps the Kool-Aid
is the normal thing to do.
Who are we to judge?

The older I get
the more pointless it all seems.
I've no hope at all.

The world will soon die.
In one or a billion years.
Drink up while you can.

Fine dining and wine.
Or heroin and Kool-Aid.
It doesn't matter.

Whichever you choose,
destroy yourself or the world,
God will be laughing.
Haiku #58243, by Darth Figpucker of
March 26, 2018 9:15 pm ET

people set up their
cults and call it normal and
then drink the cool aid
Haiku #58242, by vhs
March 26, 2018 2:46 pm ET

meh heh heh heh heh
someone tells me the program
always wins, gosh darn

isolated inter
net meme belief systems
lmao...fine
Haiku #58241, by vhs
March 26, 2018 2:40 pm ET

I have to go write
a chemistry lab report
for a spoiled kid.
Haiku #58240, by
March 26, 2018 2:26 pm ET

No no no.... I'm a math whore.
I could never work in a kitchen.
Haiku #58239, by
March 26, 2018 2:24 pm ET

Here's a fun one for you: Pick up a novel written 100 years ago, 80 years, 60... and so on until a present day novel.
That should depress you enough to make you go on a homicidal rampage.
Haiku #58238, by df
March 26, 2018 2:23 pm ET

dude, i work in a
kitchen. i love it. I like
the men and women

i work with. A good
bunch they are you see, maybe
you're crazy enough

to work there as well
Haiku #58237, by vhs
March 26, 2018 2:21 pm ET

Sports would not bore me
if only more people died.
Typhoon wind surfing.

Explosive footballs.
Tornado parachuting.
Grizzly bear jousting.

And the ever popular shouting
"get your ass back in the kitchen"
at a feminist march.
Haiku #58236, by Darth Figpucker of
March 26, 2018 2:16 pm ET

well the arts did so
suffer in these digital
times or im just old...
Haiku #58235, by vhs of GORDONS CALLE
March 26, 2018 1:15 pm ET

donald trump is a
caricature already, you cant
get more cartoonish
Haiku #58234, by vhs
March 26, 2018 12:17 pm ET

i had a belief
that one speaks their mind if
they can get away

with it, even with
faith, politics, sex, and sports
sports talk scares me much
Haiku #58233, by vhs hole
March 26, 2018 12:08 pm ET

rotten artistic
temper doesn't really sit
well with me either :X
Haiku #58232, by vhs
March 26, 2018 10:42 am ET

well the problem with
you is i like you so i
think god had a plan

for this endless round
of haiku poems and so
on, keep in touch then
Haiku #58231, by vhs
March 26, 2018 2:17 am ET

Hate isn't so bad.
And, like a bisexual,
it can go both ways.

Which hate is stronger.
It will kill us in the end.
Divided we fall.

I, for one, am glad.
Mankind deserves no better.
Look at what we've done.
Haiku #58230, by df
March 26, 2018 2:08 am ET

its a theory, the
evil liberal media hate
machine trashed m and m

he fought back
48 laws of power
this place dies it sucks

life goes on
Haiku #58229, by vhs
March 26, 2018 12:28 am ET

i guess i want to
end this little show with a
bang, egg me on

bitches
Haiku #58228, by vhs
March 26, 2018 12:17 am ET

id rather be a nut
and speak my mind than be a dickless
asshole with a three

inch penis with secret
desires of wearing a chastity
cage, my passive

aggresive little submissive closeted
bisexual jock wannabe
Haiku #58227, by vhs
March 26, 2018 12:11 am ET

i feel really good
saying idish things, feel 'sorry'
superego shills
Haiku #58226, by freuds big cigar of smoke me, im a fattie
March 26, 2018 12:04 am ET

then theres the old 'meds'
bullshit, go fuck yourself whilst
i stick a prozac suppository

up your liberal
ass so you can take it from
the plunger handle better
Haiku #58225, by vhs of i take it our critical buddy got bored smashing out windows for antifa creeps
March 25, 2018 11:59 pm ET

meh, theres all this crap
about keeping it 'cool'...well
fuck it, i keep it real

id rather kill myself
than conform to someones sense
of who im supposed

to be
Haiku #58224, by vhs
March 25, 2018 11:57 pm ET

Donald Trump's toupee.
A Tribble on Viagra.
It humps his bald head.
Haiku #58223, by Darth Figpucker of A brothel in Angeles City, Philippines
March 25, 2018 8:18 pm ET

You seem quite angry
I'm embarrassed for you dude
You can do better
Haiku #58222, by Might be time to get back on your meds
March 25, 2018 5:49 pm ET

Whatever....
Haiku #58221, by Mandingo Ebola
March 25, 2018 2:39 pm ET

like a roaring lion
perhaps im satanic and evil
i know my time is

short, then tears here
game over, move on, find
another vent place
Haiku #58220, by vhs
March 25, 2018 12:40 pm ET

i believe we live
in the Crisis, so it will take
tough measures be

fore Uncle Moonbeam
takes the tin foil off his head
and watches fox nudes...

i mean news
Haiku #58219, by vhs
March 25, 2018 12:34 pm ET

or if you god damned
liberal scum get your head out of
the nazi lite playbook

youve been referencing
listen to dave rubin and his
guests, id rather save

the world than see
it ruined by extremists
Haiku #58218, by vhs
March 25, 2018 12:30 pm ET

the sad thing is we
live in an era of censors
mindlrssly marching to

the next war and its
going to take a war to get
rid of some of these

leftist assholes
Haiku #58217, by vhs
March 25, 2018 12:27 pm ET

the reaon i likr
donald trump is i think
a lot of people

worship a wussy
social contract more strangling than
not, dont talk about

this, this guys a racust
he said fuck you and took the
white house but i fear

he may get in trouble
Haiku #58216, by Anonymous Poet
March 25, 2018 12:19 pm ET

it is too bad this
server is set to expire
for not long ago

i wanted it to die
but i guess now my old self
gets his desired wish
Haiku #58215, by vhs
March 25, 2018 12:14 pm ET

Mandingo brings spam
Deepest truth of who I am
Followed from Siam
Haiku #58214, by ewe no hi eye aym
March 25, 2018 4:09 am ET

I absolutely respect and appreciate your point on each and every object.
https://adhesivebreastlifts.co.uk/
Haiku #58213, by adhesive breast lift  of UAE
March 25, 2018 3:54 am ET

sun not always rise
for some choose not to be wise
McNugget and fries
Haiku #58212, by Mandingo Ebola of Pensacola
March 25, 2018 1:03 am ET

we head off into
the sunset not knowing where
the sun rises next
Haiku #58211, by The Mad TAer
March 24, 2018 2:25 pm ET

Facebook's a hate farm.
The Russians made it this way.
Divided we fall.
Haiku #58210, by
March 23, 2018 1:52 pm ET

Don't go to Asia.
Glow in the dark STDs.
You think I'm joking?!
Haiku #58209, by
March 23, 2018 1:48 pm ET

the internet is
a false reality for a
lot of us, it sure

blends in but you
know maybe a bit too much
nice to shut it off

wish it would go away sometimes
Haiku #58208, by vhs
March 23, 2018 10:46 am ET

well to my joy and
compete happiness facebook
is not too keen now

scandals you know
Haiku #58207, by vhs
March 23, 2018 10:24 am ET

Nice site you've got here!
Maybe I'll just buy this one
Facebook's kind of fucked
Haiku #58206, by Mark Zuckerberg
March 23, 2018 1:59 am ET

As you wish:
I link to some of my old demented stuff:
https://www.scribd.com/user/187916486/Darth-Figpucker

Yes, the novel is there also, in all it's blasphemous unreadability.
Haiku #58205, by df
March 23, 2018 1:08 am ET

one last post to your evil book there bub?
Haiku #58204, by vhs, ronin, etc etc
March 23, 2018 12:44 am ET

I think I'll post more
On scribd dot com. It's boring
but more permanent.

(like herpes)
Haiku #58203, by Darth Figpucker of You know, I really do like figs. I mean fresh ones, not the dried ones so much. They are tasty.
March 22, 2018 9:28 pm ET

VHS, you're a...
gentleman. So now go to
the gentlemen's club.

But is it then end?
We will see what we will see.
Now go see titties.
Haiku #58202, by Darth Figpucker of Pucking figs has been in my family for generations!
March 22, 2018 9:25 pm ET

i saw the best minds of my
generation destroyed by social networking
Haiku #58201, by vhs
March 22, 2018 12:25 pm ET

im gonna miss darth most
of all, scarecrow he was, oz
or arkham asylum?

shine on you crazy shitthrower
erm diamond
Haiku #58200, by vhs
March 22, 2018 9:42 am ET

shitty translation
befuddlin apostrophe
language barrier
Haiku #58199, by Lush
March 22, 2018 5:11 am ET

daft pussies galore
craving infinite stuffing
I prefer penis
Haiku #58198, by Lush
March 22, 2018 5:03 am ET

iPhone sucketh ass
Haiku #58197, by Anonymous Poet
March 22, 2018 4:59 am ET

there
Haiku #58196, by Lush
March 22, 2018 4:57 am ET

there
Haiku #58195, by Lush
March 22, 2018 4:55 am ET

What great times we live in... after we go to our Fourth Reich march to exterminate the Jews, we can go to a gay Brony orgy with marijuana cupcakes and LSD sprinkles while buttfucking the Grand Wizard from the KKK who is 1/4 Jewish, 1/8 black, and 1/32 Cherokee after he's shoved Pop Rocks up his ass.

It's all Obama's fault!

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet,
Whose stern, impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!
O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine,
Till all success be nobleness,
And every gain divine!
O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

Or something.

You know... I just realized what a crappily written song that is. I could have done better... seriously.
Haiku #58194, by
March 22, 2018 3:56 am ET