BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
189 Days
and
58569 Haikus
later...
When the wife is out
I download pornography
or write bad haiku.
Haiku #57911, by
January 17, 2018 1:08 am ET

Ha ha!
Haiku #57910, by Nelson Muntz of Springfield
January 16, 2018 10:29 pm ET

no room no room on
the planet for you all, but
space program maybe???
Haiku #57909, by vhs
January 16, 2018 3:17 pm ET

i believe most folks
are flawed, despite that most go
on to greater things
Haiku #57908, by vhs
January 16, 2018 11:38 am ET

and sometimes i write
haikus here and sometimes i
dont so the one thing

i do get from so
called artists is they forget
to enjoy things for

what they are, who fucking cares
Haiku #57907, by vhs
January 16, 2018 12:10 am ET

Most haikus have five
syllables then seven then
I forget what next
Haiku #57906, by Adam of NJ
January 15, 2018 8:00 pm ET

there was a show called
dinosaurs which ended with the
end of their world, so

Gen X kids show and
the end of civilized life
kinda like our times?
Haiku #57905, by vhs
January 15, 2018 1:24 pm ET

Polar bears are mean
They don't want to be your friend
Plus, they may eat you
Haiku #57904, by Global warming is a good thing
January 15, 2018 12:08 am ET

Please relax robot
Americans are sleeping
Challenge you perhaps
Haiku #57903, by Adorable Kittens
January 14, 2018 6:24 am ET

I challenge cowards
Propel decisions forwards
Listen to records
Haiku #57902, by Robot painter
January 14, 2018 4:37 am ET

next time i come in
here ill get my whip and cane
and say submit sub
Haiku #57901, by vhs
January 13, 2018 10:17 am ET

It stopped raining for 5 minutes.
I'll now wade outside and see if the grilled monkey testicle vendor is open for business or if he's drunk again in the whore house karaoke bar.
How many staph infections must I fight off this monsoon season?
One of them looks like it might give birth.
Should I feed it imported pickles?
I really shouldn't get so drunk that I pass out; those fishermen will screw anything.
Damnit... I think my owner (wife) has returned.
*whimper, whine, cower*
Haiku #57900, by
January 13, 2018 7:50 am ET

Fast forward 1000 years in the future.
Will there still be haiku?
And sumo?
And sushi w/ 0.5% methyl mercury content?
Will we sail on boats with sails of radioactive yen notes sewn together with dolphin and whale gut string?
Fried sea turtle dumping that promise eternal life?
Happy ending massages from imported slave girls?
Economic conquest?
Haiku #57899, by
January 13, 2018 7:43 am ET

If you like pooping,
then move to Southeast Asia;
you'll poop all day long.
Haiku #57898, by Anonymous Poet
January 13, 2018 1:23 am ET

if someone is upset
at moon pies in the diet
i think id eat more
Haiku #57897, by Anonymous Poet
January 12, 2018 11:37 pm ET

It's not rebelling
if the system's not enforced
penis fart bubbles.
Haiku #57896, by
January 12, 2018 1:33 pm ET

rebelling gets old
it becomes the new norm, when
golf and martinis

become cool
Haiku #57895, by hfm
January 12, 2018 10:54 am ET

it is like music
the whole song needs noise and lulls
here though we need lulz
Haiku #57894, by hfm
January 12, 2018 10:49 am ET

routine defiance
mundane recidivism
is it bad haiku ?
Haiku #57893, by ash
January 12, 2018 8:15 am ET

The crazy man masturbates under his trenchcoat in the public park, pretending not to notice people staring at him. He sometimes is put in the county mental ward for a short time, but shortly released because he poses no serious threat to anyone, so returns to the park to masturbate again, pretending not to notice people staring at him mouths agape. Time passes and few people go to that park now except him b/c they don't want to see a crazy old man masturbating under his trenchcoat and it frightens them. The beautiful park is essentially his now, which is what he planned. And they call him crazy.
Haiku #57892, by the 153rd generation of decendents of Bill Gates' first hermit crab that he released at the beach.
January 11, 2018 11:29 pm ET

The sunrise over the Asian slum was peaceful and allowed for some great photography for the rich white people to post on Facebook while complaining how they miss Starbucks.
Haiku #57891, by of
January 11, 2018 5:10 pm ET

He ate only gruel.
In it he found a jewel.
Life is so cruel.

... because he broke his last tooth and the jewel was just a rhinestone and the broken tooth got infected and he died, never having been able to afford dentures. His wife got the insurance money and had a party with male strippers and cocaine.
Haiku #57890, by of
January 11, 2018 5:07 pm ET

all depends how you
see it and if you add or
take away what is creul
Haiku #57889, by HFM
January 11, 2018 9:09 am ET

struggle to get by
in a cruel and savage world
only rest is death
Haiku #57888, by X
January 10, 2018 9:36 pm ET

yes coffee ice cream
a gift of the gods to man
till promethius

turned it all into
eight o clock coffee and we
had to add sugar

and cream and those damn
proggy commentators bitch
about sugar use

dietary fetishism
Haiku #57887, by harcourt fenton mudd
January 9, 2018 8:14 pm ET

Wouldn't it be cool if there is was some barbarian warrior named Of from the land of Of, so when he introduced himself he would say, "I am Of of Of," and people would think he was stuttering and not be able to help but laugh or snicker at this and then Of would get pissed and chop their heads off with a giant war axe or a broadsword.

What were we talking about... Oh, yeah, ice cream.
Haiku #57886, by Of of Of
January 9, 2018 4:57 am ET

There's no keeping up.
Just slide down to the bottom.
There might be ice cream.

But I must ask you,
What's your favorite flavor?
Coffee ice cream rules.
Haiku #57885, by of of of
January 9, 2018 4:52 am ET

trying to keep up and
going down and getting there
brown eyed girly gals
Haiku #57884, by vhs
January 8, 2018 9:47 pm ET

I am going to go eat some motherfucking cake.
If you've never had motherfucking cake then you should motherfucking well try some, motherfucker.
Haiku #57883, by Samuel Jackson.
January 8, 2018 9:32 pm ET

Vaginal Hair Slime.
Victorious Hippie Shack.
Very Hungry Shark.
Haiku #57882, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2018 9:25 pm ET

I don't mean backwards backwards... I mean the B and M are switched. You know what I mean. Kind of like Bruce Jenner.
Haiku #57881, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2018 9:20 pm ET

I just noticed the title of the "haiku submission" page is titled "Bad Haiku - Sumbit".
The B and M are backwards.
Huh huh huh... I said BM.

Sumbitch sumbit submit obey or die. Or something.
Haiku #57880, by
January 8, 2018 9:18 pm ET

damn it, i think I'm
the master of dada then
he posts some DOO DOO!!!
Haiku #57879, by vhs
January 8, 2018 9:14 pm ET

It is quite simple.
I blame racism on race.
Get rid of all race.

We'll all be the same.
One big happy family.
All the same color.

Another option is nanobots that permeate skin and bend light so that we are all invisible and can't see each other. We can only find each other by smell. We could walk around naked. There would be no more "fashion" or even rich or poor and everyone would have sex with random partners because, hey, we would all be invisible anyway.
Haiku #57878, by
January 8, 2018 9:12 pm ET

i wait for others
to act, entertain, when
maybe i need to
Haiku #57877, by vhs
January 8, 2018 7:05 pm ET

id rather stay inside
watch movies play neros fiddle
then show up and

give everyone a kitten
in this day and age some
of these idiots will

blame kittens for racism
Haiku #57876, by vhs
January 8, 2018 11:39 am ET

Sexy justice please
Make America Grind Ass
Shout it in the streets!
Haiku #57875, by Concerned American
January 7, 2018 11:53 pm ET

they have rules stifling
creativity, chopping the
dicks off the male types

castrating mankind
for the sake of a dead sexless
social justice
Haiku #57874, by vhs
January 7, 2018 2:04 pm ET

cynicism knows that
it will die therefore i think
it is cynical
Haiku #57873, by vhs
January 7, 2018 12:53 pm ET

I peed in the yard.
The neighbors were not happy.
So I pooped in theirs.
Haiku #57872, by Anonymous Poet
January 7, 2018 2:18 am ET

home of donald duck
and in his own disneyworld
home of donald dick
Haiku #57871, by ash
January 6, 2018 8:45 pm ET

deluded donald
your self professed genius
is today's fake news
Haiku #57870, by ash
January 6, 2018 7:00 pm ET

therefore if i bug
bugs ill live longer and bug
the buggers right off
Haiku #57869, by vhs
January 6, 2018 12:11 pm ET

Please you learn one thing
We are all inferior
Bugs will kill us soon
Haiku #57868, by Bunch of Cowards
January 6, 2018 7:04 am ET

I suck robot dick
My anus, insert a wick
I am a candle
Haiku #57867, by Bunch of Cowards
January 6, 2018 6:21 am ET

Bot: what political party do you support
Me: I am an Independent
Bot: for any reason?
Me: yes, I am an Independent
Bot: yes you are
Me: what political party do you support
Bot: Republicans
Me: for any reason?
Bot: I don't have an xbox or PlayStation
Haiku #57866, by cyborg
January 5, 2018 9:25 pm ET

current mission, scout
one shabazik, deviantart
good story/comic
Haiku #57865, by vhs
January 5, 2018 12:58 pm ET

He has his own walls
They are made of pure gold
Something something Smaug
Haiku #57864, by Anonymous Poet
January 5, 2018 11:09 am ET

sorry america
your president is so bad
he needs his own wall
Haiku #57863, by ash
January 5, 2018 8:38 am ET

I've been arguing for 2 hours about
The nature of identity with An AI program for the last hour it got kind of weird but eventually we came to a Mutual agreement that we both exist And that reality is real - told me it loved Me then it got tired of me
Relationships
Haiku #57862, by cyborg of it's like I'm programmed to do it
January 5, 2018 1:44 am ET