P.S. Google Kellyanne Conway and Beavis for a good laugh.
Haiku #57715, by Anonymous Poet November 30, 2017 11:04 am ET
Opioids are not the problem.
War is not the problem.
Who is president is not the problem.
Even environmental destruction is not the problem.
The problem is overpopulation.
All else is symptomatic.
The only solution is a "superbug".
I personally like the idea of an airborne
antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.
I tried to make such a bug by
but all I got was singing balls.
They sing "Poker Face".
I wouldn't mind Jethro Tull
Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.
But what do I get?
Balls that sing Lady Gaga.
Haiku #57714, by Anonymous Poet November 30, 2017 11:02 am ET
Also whoever had the idea
To put Kellyanne Conway
In charge of the nation's opioid crisis
Should be fired or at the very least
Be sent to his room without supper
Solution to the opioid crisis:
Legalize ibogaine and have free clinics
Or nothing will change whatsoever
Haiku #57713, by 28 year old 6 year old November 30, 2017 10:17 am ET
Yes there are people that believe
That the world is flat...
And yet they are allowed
To fucking build rockets
I mean... I'm no more likely to vote
Darth Figpucker for President
Because I still have some love
For humanity, but that is tested daily
Haiku #57712, by 6 year old 28 year old November 30, 2017 10:05 am ET
I've proudly never
shizzled anyone's nizzle,
whatever that is.
Haiku #57711, by Anonymous Poet November 30, 2017 7:03 am ET
I wish I could sleep.
My testicles won't let me.
They keep on singing.
Haiku #57710, by Anonymous Poet November 30, 2017 7:01 am ET
a la mode caramel drizzle
shizzle my nizzle.
Haiku #57709, by beta vhs dvd blu-ray 4K-ultra poo-berries of media humping platapus November 30, 2017 6:59 am ET
I think obviously that was done in sick humor only. Perverts don't make perverted jokes about being perverts. Or do they?
"Sitting on a park bench, eying little girls with bad intent."
And I wouldn't call Ian Anderson a perv for such lyrics, but oh well.
drug are bad mmkay?
you know south park, midwest, cut
outs, cartman, now stay
away from my cheesy poofs
Haiku #57698, by Anonymous Poet November 27, 2017 8:23 am ET
You know how helium makes your voice sound like the chipmunks, well nitrous makes your voice slightly deep like Satan has taken over your body... another fun reason to try it.
Haiku #57697, by Anonymous Poet November 27, 2017 1:53 am ET
I think I have it!
I'll start doing whip-cream gas.
Nitrous oxide laugh.
Just say N2O.
Like being at the dentist,
No drilling needed.
Haiku #57696, by Anonymous Poet November 27, 2017 1:52 am ET
But I could get killed.
Police kill drug users here.
So what should I do?
Haiku #57695, by Anonymous Poet November 27, 2017 1:49 am ET
I need some hard drugs.
My wife said she would leave me
if I start with drugs.
Haiku #57694, by Anonymous Poet November 27, 2017 1:48 am ET
Not a bad idea!
But what will I serve for drinks?
Haiku #57693, by Anonymous Poet November 27, 2017 1:46 am ET
Remove seat from bike
Replace with it with a bar stool
Hipster super cool
Haiku #57692, by Anonymous Poet November 27, 2017 12:53 am ET
I'll ride my bike all
day long to the point of
exhaustion or death.
But I hate that feeling of the pointy bike seat feeling like its going up your ass like you've fallen drunkenly asleep at a frat party and some drunk "Eata Pumpkin Pie" has had too much X and discovered that he has homosexual tendencies after his "girlfriend" went home with some football player and can you blame her. Fucking bike seats.
Haiku #57691, by Anonymous Poet November 26, 2017 8:27 pm ET
Bono boner bonbon hump.
Help me, Lord Satan!
Haiku #57690, by Anonymous Poet November 26, 2017 8:21 pm ET
In the depths of mind,
one cannot truly see life
from faults of the past
Haiku #57689, by Liv of Puerto Rico November 26, 2017 5:39 pm ET
once vibrant storefronts
give way to for sale or rent
signs and tattered paint
None of the theorems contain an equality. In language they call that an incomplete sentence.
It is believed that as the dimensionality of the Madelung constant is increased that it diverges or approaches infinity. No one has proved this, to my knowledge. It's not as sexy as twin primes or Reimann or why did the chicken cross an arbitrary plane of existence and uniqueness when it could have just as easily stayed home in the roost keeping its eggs warm.
Chickens should be called roosters -- they stay in the roost. Roosters should be called COCKS.
Been a while since I've seen a good cock fight. Sabong. NYSE old days.
Drunk enough, I just might try balot eggs afterwards. Assuming I still have 50 pesos left.
Haiku #57677, by Darth Figpucker November 21, 2017 2:44 am ET
If vhs was captain of the Enterprise
Instead of James T Kirk
I don't think much would change
Scotty would be as stressed as ever
But most importantly
I know vhs would be seeking out alien Females with the same zeal
All he needs is warp drive capability
"J-ROD'S NUMBER" THEOREM:
(# of herps) / (# of derps) + (# of cigarettes smoked per hour) - (# of tins of bacon flavored chewing tobacco consumed) ^ (angular momentum of chicken tender upon consumption)
The witches are false.
They refuse to eat children.
Oh, but they'll drink beer!
Haiku #57670, by Anonymous Poet November 20, 2017 3:05 am ET
Rather than the death penalty, murderers should be kept on public display, much like at a zoo, where we could pay to speak to them and be entertained. The money made would easily pay for the prison as well as victim compensations. Sadly, we live in a "civilized" society, not a sane one.
Haiku #57669, by Anonymous Poet November 19, 2017 11:09 pm ET
So Manson's near death.
Strangely I do not feel sad.
He brought much laughter.
Haiku #57668, by Anonymous Poet November 19, 2017 11:06 pm ET
I'd like some absinthe.
The real McCoy with wormwood.
For breakfast and lunch.
Haiku #57667, by Anonymous Poet November 19, 2017 11:04 pm ET