Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 126 Days and 76958 Haiku later...

I am a whorebeast.
Being as such, I have cash.
My pimps treat me right.
Haiku # 56465, May 15, 2017 11:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
if you sit in your
fucking basement all day and
contact other sorts

blame other people
for your own problems it's much
easier to be

a furry than it
is to be a productive
furry buys their own fur
Haiku # 56464, May 15, 2017 1:13 pm ET
by vhs
internet whorebeasts!
unwilling or unable
to feel sympathy
Haiku # 56463, May 15, 2017 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
current news problem
global cyber attack, thus
corporate news does

actually report
on something for once and now
Styxhexenhammer666

in a haiku, i don't
know what the ex-satanist
will think of that one
Haiku # 56462, May 14, 2017 11:27 am ET
by vhs
What's all the matter?
Did it go splatter on the platter?
The former or the latter?
Haiku # 56461, May 14, 2017 9:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
what the hell what the
hell, hank hill is going nuts
right now, so am i
Haiku # 56460, May 13, 2017 10:56 am ET
by vhs
I got what you intend, appreciate it for posting .Woh I am lucky to find this website through google. I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. by Steven Wright.
Haiku # 56459, May 13, 2017 7:31 am ET
by ipeewtpw of USA
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Haiku # 56458, May 12, 2017 6:45 pm ET
by pyutuwee of USA
Bill wasn't funny
you are funny. I'm trying
to keep up with your

mildly psychopathic
writing style. case in point
Gen X was minimalist

and liked girls in latex
Haiku # 56457, May 12, 2017 11:45 am ET
by vhs
I am craving beef.
The whole entire carcass.
Gutted and butchered.

I'll crawl inside it.
Slowly eating my way out.
Just like Alien.
Haiku # 56456, May 12, 2017 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I still hate counting.
Numbers will make you turn gay.
Consider "The Count".

He almost caused the
breakup of Bert and Ernie.
Say No to Numbers!
Haiku # 56455, May 12, 2017 2:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Seriously though. Asian talent and game shows seem to have the most hideous and overplayed laugh track on the planet... not sure if all of Asia, but the Philippines certainly. Fucking hideous.
Haiku # 56454, May 11, 2017 2:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No, no I haven't.
Attempted the book a long time ago... another lifetime ago, I think.
Never tried it since. Maybe time for it again.
But then... why read it if you live it?
Haiku # 56453, May 11, 2017 2:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i take it you read
the snippet in naked lunch
about the talking asshole
Haiku # 56452, May 11, 2017 10:34 am ET
by vhs
It's not very much fun when your hemorrhoids become sentient.
They've taken to singing theme songs from Asian game shows.
The laugh track is the worst.
It makes my ears bleed and fills my soul with hatred.
Colon cancer would be a most fitting death.
Haiku # 56451, May 11, 2017 12:25 am ET
by ridge rockwood
*and call me Caitlyn....
shit I can't even complete a thought without fucking it up.
Christ... time for the nursing home. Get the Depends ready.
Haiku # 56450, May 11, 2017 12:17 am ET
by carrer londo
Did you know that
SQRT(a ± b) = SQRT((a + u)/2) ± SQRT((a - u)/2)
if a > b > 0 and u = SQRT(a^2 - b^2)
???
I didn't know that and I've been doing this shit a long time.
What the fuck is wrong with me?!
Split my cock and Caitlyn.
Haiku # 56449, May 11, 2017 12:15 am ET
by Exit road of another good captcha, but I like the previous one better
Modern Arial to Ground Assault?
Masturbation Anonymous Group Association?
My Ass Grinds Awkwardly?
Mi Amigo Gringo Asshole?
Micturition Anencephaly Grotesque Arbitration?
Haiku # 56448, May 10, 2017 8:38 pm ET
by irapuato pluguffan of My fave captcha so far
lunch is the last thing
ever on my mind, as they burn
books in Cali to

save the digital
copies, cover their own sick mad
natures as we wait

for a generation
of worthless psychopaths to
die off so we can

rebuild America
MAGA doesn't seem like such
a bad idea right now
Haiku # 56447, May 10, 2017 1:03 pm ET
by vhs
There's a small chance I could have worms.
Saw one in the toilet, but it wasn't after I'd pooped.
It was about 2 inches long, just wiggling around in there.
So, I took some worm meds.
Now I'm going to see Alien Covenant.
Haiku # 56446, May 9, 2017 10:35 pm ET
by df of dyke orsol
no really, what is in spam?
Haiku # 56445, May 9, 2017 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
watch the religious
digs, there's a part of me
that might forget that

i am SUPPOSED to
be a Christian but you know how
THAT works, history
Haiku # 56444, May 9, 2017 1:11 pm ET
by vhs
you know you always
put me on the spot but as
always, truth to trolls

leftover ham mostly
the Russians liked it during
world war two. saved lots

vikings also seem to
like spam spam spam spam spam spam
but who likes Treet?
Haiku # 56443, May 9, 2017 1:06 pm ET
by vhs
I like to learn things
Interesting article
Thank you for helping
Haiku # 56442, May 9, 2017 1:16 am ET
by ipeeinmyownmouth of Chinese spam factory
Spam consists of ground up Chinese abortions and anti-communist sympathizers and the occasional religious person.
Shaved, put in a steam cooker with MSG, gelatin, and preservatives. Voila! Spam.

And you thought it was rejected pork scraps.
Haiku # 56441, May 8, 2017 8:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
now maybe we will
have the ingredients of
spam posted here next
Haiku # 56440, May 8, 2017 12:26 pm ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 56439, May 7, 2017 7:42 pm ET
by opweeryp of USA
well i think we just
got the ingredients to
cheetos that last post

i like cheetos
Haiku # 56438, May 7, 2017 1:57 pm ET
by vhs
Vegetable oil (corn, canola, and/or sunflower) Cheese seasoning (whey, cheddar cheese [milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes], canola oil, maltodextrin [made from corn], salt, whey protein concentrate, monosodium glutamate, natural and artificial flavors, lactic acid, citric acid, artificial color [yellow 6]) Salt.

Just fucking because!
Haiku # 56437, May 7, 2017 8:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We'll, no matter what,
I wouldn't want to do his job.
Way too much stress there
Haiku # 56436, May 6, 2017 2:35 pm ET
by T
i've known you for years
DPF, same gen as the
Donald himself, self

assured, word for
word, carrying signs and not
repairing bridges
Haiku # 56435, May 6, 2017 1:52 pm ET
by vhs
He's a fucking Cheeto!
Artificial fluorescent obnoxious and bad for your health.
With a tiny little dick.
He should be eliminated.
Like burritos on Wednesday morning.
Haiku # 56434, May 6, 2017 2:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
serious answer
he's a gemini, that kind
tend to be chaos

socially in mind
flittering from thought to thought
he thinks that if he

shows force then the world
will respect the USA
and respect the terms

of this country
Haiku # 56433, May 5, 2017 1:42 pm ET
by vhs
Vaginas are horrible things and not to be trusted.
Look at all the damage they've done.
Eskimos for example.
If not for vaginas there would be no Eskimos.
Or Inuits. Whatever.
Haiku # 56432, May 4, 2017 9:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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Haiku # 56431, May 4, 2017 2:17 pm ET
by twurytru of USA
Serious question:
Is the president insane?
I just don't get him.
Haiku # 56430, May 4, 2017 2:09 pm ET
by T
i don't FEEL like a
posting on here but you know
keep going on'non
Haiku # 56429, May 4, 2017 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 56428, May 4, 2017 2:36 am ET
by Sumantha Black of UK
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Haiku # 56427, May 4, 2017 2:34 am ET
by Kitty Dracy of USA
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Haiku # 56426, May 4, 2017 2:32 am ET
by Alia Dsouza of UK
between alex jones
satanic conspiracies and
people i really

do know who have their
personalties split through this
hypnosis crap, why

the hell does my comp
want to keep having me go
play fucking Farmville
Haiku # 56425, May 3, 2017 12:20 pm ET
by vhs
What's really fun is
drunken vector calculus
for hookers and drugs.
Haiku # 56424, May 3, 2017 7:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pooping is fun.
It is fun to poop.
Trust me.
Haiku # 56423, May 2, 2017 10:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
wait a minute it's
a D with the number 8...
someone is going

to let me have it
jokes wise or whatever and
not a made man here...
Haiku # 56422, May 2, 2017 12:29 pm ET
by vhs
it's the letter b
with equal signs and the number
8 at the end
Haiku # 56421, May 2, 2017 12:04 pm ET
by vhs
B=====D
(it's a skinny one, with a big head.)
Haiku # 56420, May 2, 2017 8:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'd like to submit a dick pic here.
Why don't we have that option?
I'm going somewhere else.
Haiku # 56419, May 2, 2017 3:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whuf... whuf...
There you go.
A new pair of pants.
Haiku # 56418, May 2, 2017 3:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
"Pants" sounds strange to me
Meter is always running
Spew thoughts while you can
Haiku # 56417, May 2, 2017 12:37 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
I'm not counting silly bulls.
Cows are logical, but their milk tastes funny.
Rabbit milk yogurt is too expensive for me.
Dog milk yogurt is cheap. Red Rocket, Red Rocket!
Haiku # 56416, May 1, 2017 4:19 pm ET
by Anymouse Poet
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