Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

... doing strange things with licorice whips.
Haiku # 55153, October 23, 2016 6:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Once Hillary Clinton takes office, I think she should leave her cheating husband and sleep with several male interns, but then once that phase passes, she should marry Donald Trump and they can shred the US Constitution and form the New World Empire under which date rape and murder will become legal and laws will be made by stock holders with the largest shares and all women will be required to carry condoms in case some random stranger wants to rape them while eating a polar bear sandwich.
Haiku # 55152, October 23, 2016 6:37 pm ET
by vhs of Lounging on Darth Figpucker's couch, drinking his German beer while his mistress dances around naked doing strange things with l
Men who eat pussy
are known as pussy-eaters.
Lesbians hate them.
Haiku # 55149, October 23, 2016 6:22 pm ET
by df
Does the bible say
that I can't screw sea urchins
if I am careful?
Haiku # 55148, October 23, 2016 5:56 pm ET
by Satanic Bumble Bees Attaining Self-Awareness and Dark Wisdom of Your Back Yard Under the Lightening Scarred Tree.
Hello!
Haiku # 55147, October 23, 2016 5:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Stockholm, Sweden
Haiku # 55146, October 23, 2016 6:43 am ET
by Howdy Ho! of Up shit creek w/o a paddle.
Vap
Haiku # 55145, October 23, 2016 6:38 am ET
by Farty of New Zealand
Pav
Haiku # 55144, October 23, 2016 4:54 am ET
by marty of Australia
about time he says and
i say pony girl married
her, now i cart her

around, and that's ok :)
Haiku # 55143, October 22, 2016 1:56 pm ET
by vhs
Oh fuck me running!
Spam to cure to nail funk.
Now that is funny!

Mushrooms are fungi.
And you can trip on mushrooms.
Can I suck your toes?
Haiku # 55142, October 22, 2016 12:52 pm ET
by df
Hello!
Haiku # 55140, October 22, 2016 7:20 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc.
yes now if I'm on
again mAYBE dPF
will show up and we

can go back to my
"Look at me I'm a Christian"
and he can say "poop"
Haiku # 55139, October 22, 2016 12:37 am ET
by vhs
mild and wild just had
some down time here growing old
average haiku
Haiku # 55138, October 21, 2016 11:37 pm ET
by vhs aka ronin
haiku oh haiku
ever more like walter white
than like walt whitman
Haiku # 55137, October 21, 2016 10:09 pm ET
by ash
cold wether returns
soft white blanket virgin snow
urinate your name
Haiku # 55123, October 21, 2016 1:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Spaghetti with meat
But not just any meat! It is...
GLORIOUS BALLS OF MEAT
Haiku # 55122, October 20, 2016 8:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What the heck happened?
Neither Darth or VHS?
This place a graveyard
Haiku # 55121, October 20, 2016 8:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Baseball playoff games
Taking waaaay too fucking long
Leads to much napping
Haiku # 55116, October 20, 2016 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Legal anabolic steroids do exist and this is surprising to some. To find legal anabolic steroids you need to understand all the ins and outs.
http://www.crazybulkguide.com/
Haiku # 55111, October 19, 2016 6:06 am ET
by Crazy Bulk of California, USA
Hell no, we won't go!
Wait, you're going to Paris?
Well that sounds like fun.
Haiku # 55106, October 18, 2016 10:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
shark in your bathtub
she is not here to make friends
record for evidence
Haiku # 55100, October 17, 2016 1:10 am ET
by Lord of the Dance
I just like the helpful information you provide on your articles. I will bookmark your blog and test once more here frequently. I'm moderately certain I will learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next! dfdabeaaekab
Haiku # 55098, October 16, 2016 10:07 pm ET
by towpwoue of USA
hammertoe cheap shoes
young folks meals raimens and spam
older, beans and rice
Haiku # 55097, October 16, 2016 11:14 am ET
by vhs
Ode to Bacon Bits:
You are so damn delicious
Will you marry me?
Haiku # 55096, October 16, 2016 2:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
going down to south
park and the jokes are mature
as we mature and

irony is replaced
by networking and selfies
what's a vhs???
Haiku # 55095, October 15, 2016 12:18 pm ET
by vhs
actual donuts
can be pretty dangerous
now, those krispy cremes

(but they sure taste good)
Haiku # 55094, October 14, 2016 2:12 pm ET
by vhs
Router, Wi-Fi, Internet.
IP-address and connect.
192.168.l.l
Haiku # 55093, October 14, 2016 9:53 am ET
by Max of SF
why are things this way
money, sex, religion, fame
dangerous donuts
Haiku # 55092, October 13, 2016 10:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
this is becoming
some sort of flotsam or big
art project web site
Haiku # 55091, October 13, 2016 11:26 am ET
by vhs
Cigarettes are gay.
Sucking Death's little white cock.
He'll spooge in your lungs.
Haiku # 55090, October 13, 2016 7:52 am ET
by
Phenq Diet Plan helps to Supercharge energy levels, burn extra fat, suppress appetite & start losing your weight. Buy PhenQ and save with our discount offer! http://www.phenqdietplan.org/
Haiku # 55039, October 13, 2016 6:16 am ET
by Phenq of Houston, Texas
Hug him with passion.
Let him know I mean business.
And grab him by the...
Haiku # 55038, October 11, 2016 11:45 pm ET
by Trump
back alley New York
a mime walks from the shadows
looking for a hug
Haiku # 55037, October 11, 2016 10:54 pm ET
by What would you do?
Jet propelled boners.
Penises flying right off.
Exploding testes.

Foreskin Fuel
Haiku # 55036, October 11, 2016 10:00 pm ET
by df of Cambodia
Men who fuck chickens,
in spite of what they'll tell you,
are chicken fuckers.
Haiku # 54980, October 8, 2016 12:18 am ET
by
Men who fuck chickens,
in spite of what they'll tell you,
are chicken fuckers.
Haiku # 54979, October 8, 2016 12:13 am ET
by df
sad,endless battles
cycle of sin, salvation
spammers and poets
Haiku # 54978, October 7, 2016 9:35 pm ET
by Wholly captcha Batman
When you hack up blood,
the spam wars take a back seat.
I just want to breathe.

It's normal for me.
When I'm sick I hack up blood.
Goddamn allergies.

It's usually
a bad flu that kicks my ass.
Goddamn it all.

The world keeps taking.
The universe is a thief.
And nothing changes.
Haiku # 54976, October 7, 2016 4:27 pm ET
by df
old symptoms return
old enemies come back
we go to war to

beat these enemies
once and for all, but evil
comes back, so does good
Haiku # 54975, October 7, 2016 1:07 pm ET
by vhs
infectious disease
reflecting upon my deeds
future salvation
Haiku # 54974, October 6, 2016 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Most Asian toilets
do not have tanks in the back;
flush with a bucket.

And forget TP;
Pour water down your backside,
scrubbing with your hand.

There is never soap.
Think of this when you eat out.
See the waiter's hands.

To take a good dump,
Yankee style with TP,
find a McDonald's.

Toilets in the malls
do not even have TP
unless you buy it.

Often there's no seat,
only a bowl for squatting.
A good thigh workout.

But the worst part is
that the floors are always wet
from water sloshing.

Keep your pants or shorts
high and dry off of the floor
or it will be gross.

Who wants buffet now?
All you can eat at the new
Mandarin Palace!
Haiku # 54973, October 6, 2016 7:24 pm ET
by How to Poop in Asia of Up shit creek without Charmin.
a modella ranco
bumperswat enel
guatemala hotel
basy pavia
morden 2072
wifi fam chavez c
rent a car charlotte
private avenida
community hall 4400
wash prudential realty
public bell street
84-86 north st
01785 legaria
winston caravan
Haiku # 54972, October 6, 2016 7:05 pm ET
by sooo artistic!
I think that Janis
should give someone who has time
control of this site.

To delete all spam.
And we will have peace at last.
The angels will sing.

My new idea:
I'm going to post captchas.
Sounds like loads of fun.
Haiku # 54971, October 6, 2016 7:01 pm ET
by df
Inappropriate
public bleeding is needed
to push back the spam.
Haiku # 54970, October 6, 2016 4:14 pm ET
by df
Exactly correct.
I've been on my period.
Spammers drink my blood.
Haiku # 54969, October 6, 2016 4:12 pm ET
by df
in fact i dare say
i can't abide such a dot
period piece here
Haiku # 54968, October 6, 2016 3:43 pm ET
by vhs
let us see if we
can despam the space or the space
cadets will win this one
Haiku # 54967, October 6, 2016 3:43 pm ET
by vhs
you know when i post
here it is going along
with the shit and the

tar, knowing fetish
lives I have known, what's hu cow?
now that's a weird one
Haiku # 54861, October 5, 2016 12:07 pm ET
by vhs
Perhaps you are right.
But I can't resist chickens.
They are just so tight.
Haiku # 54860, October 5, 2016 9:27 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Cows are not sexy
Even when wearing lipstick
One must have limits
Haiku # 54859, October 5, 2016 8:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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