Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

My life the cake You
Are the frosting together
We make a sweet pair
Haiku # 54653, September 24, 2016 9:38 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
gives the old fucker
the knowing look, dadaism?

again? fnord!!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 54651, September 24, 2016 1:34 pm ET
by vhs of Eris's Christian
I'll kick you in the vagina!
Your children are ugly!
Haiku are gay!
Haiku # 54649, September 24, 2016 7:23 am ET
by Skankhunt42
My dingleberries
are itching for a good time
down at the beach bar.

But I am tired.
I told them go on ahead.
They left without me.
Haiku # 54648, September 24, 2016 7:09 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
crooked octopus
respecting personal space
slingshot hibiscus
Haiku # 54647, September 24, 2016 12:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
snd sdud plo uo dns
xod dollop dols dood opun
uns xnl plo uo pold
Haiku # 54646, September 23, 2016 6:59 pm ET
by Invert the Pervert
It is a fact that
poop is just inverted dood.
Know what I mean, dood?
Haiku # 54589, September 23, 2016 10:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Penis foreskin fuel.
Jet powered ejaculate.
Like when you were twelve.

I won't include pics.
But imagine shooting a
quart of cottage cheese.
Haiku # 54587, September 23, 2016 7:56 am ET
by Darth Figpucker the Highly Inappropriate
Harambe is dead
just like his overused meme
rip harambe lol
Haiku # 54585, September 22, 2016 10:27 pm ET
by Noob_PlaysYT
i'm closing my eyes
asking for a word of God
i think i just heard

"oh fuck!!!"
Haiku # 54584, September 22, 2016 10:15 pm ET
by vhs
interesting site
one could bookmark it, except...
this is not a book
Haiku # 54582, September 22, 2016 8:26 pm ET
by eeeeew gross!
Is there a shit zen?
Enlightenment through feces.
Sounds rather German.

I do feel lighter
each time that I defecate,
like I'm a new man.

I wonder if now
we will get laxative spam.
Ex-Lax from China.

Oh and of course, Poop!
But that goes without saying.
Am I right, or what?
Haiku # 54578, September 22, 2016 3:59 pm ET
by darth figpucker
I thought this was
bad haiku, not shit zen
statement but...poop
Haiku # 54577, September 22, 2016 10:50 am ET
by vhs
That's kind of funny.
I thought it said foreskin fuel.
Exploding penis.
Haiku # 54522, September 21, 2016 11:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Forskolin fuel is an advanced natural weight loss formula that has been recently launched in the market. The product has been receiving excellent response from the buyers and is winning hearts of people all over the globe. For more Information Visit: http://www.forskolinfuel-reviews.com/
forskolin fuel

Haiku # 54520, September 21, 2016 7:51 am ET
by Forskolin fuel of USA
Phenq Diet Plan helps to Supercharge energy levels, burn extra fat, suppress appetite & start losing your weight. Buy PhenQ and save with our discount offer! http://www.phenqdietplan.org/
Haiku # 54519, September 21, 2016 6:59 am ET
by Phenq of Austin, Texas
Impressive display
both, counting and stamina
You outdid yourself
Haiku # 54517, September 20, 2016 8:49 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Pensacola
You and me in the world,
Find the moon in the sky,
Your heart there?
Haiku # 54516, September 20, 2016 7:42 pm ET
by Luci
It is now time for
my hot caffeine enema
and banana bread.
Haiku # 54515, September 20, 2016 7:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Have you ever tried
elephant rectum pot pie?
Well, neither have I.
Haiku # 54514, September 20, 2016 6:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't miss Walmart.
Well, maybe just a little.
They have so much shit!
Haiku # 54513, September 20, 2016 6:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'd like a moon rock.
I mean a real live moon rock.
That comes from the moon.
Haiku # 54512, September 20, 2016 6:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Can I blame Satan?
Is it good legal defense?
Or will they hang me?
Haiku # 54511, September 20, 2016 6:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lets talk about poop.
Vegetables push things through.
The toilet might clog.
Haiku # 54510, September 20, 2016 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Banana muffins.
That is what I want right now.
They will open soon.
Haiku # 54509, September 20, 2016 6:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I will get breakfast
where the girls have big titties
and serve strong coffee.
Haiku # 54508, September 20, 2016 6:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm craving candy.
Could I perhaps be pregnant?
My balls are swollen.
Haiku # 54507, September 20, 2016 6:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It has gone to sleep.
Please try not to wake it up.
All night erection.
Haiku # 54506, September 20, 2016 6:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't forget coffee.
But that goes without saying.
Not that instant shit!
Haiku # 54505, September 20, 2016 6:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I would like some eggs,
toast, jelly, and three flap jacks.
Don't call them pancakes.
Haiku # 54504, September 20, 2016 6:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fuck, I tried to stop.
Self-referencing poetry
is the worst of all.
Haiku # 54503, September 20, 2016 6:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If this is art, then...
well, I just don't fucking know...
McD is gourmet.
Haiku # 54502, September 20, 2016 6:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll just post some shit.
Then I'll post even more shit.
Just to take up space.
Haiku # 54501, September 20, 2016 6:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I apologize.
That was just a bit too gross.
I'm not serious.
Haiku # 54500, September 20, 2016 6:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I am so hungry
that I could even eat some
Philippino food.
Haiku # 54499, September 20, 2016 6:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Marilyn Monroe
was really a gay old man
with zits on his ass.
Haiku # 54498, September 20, 2016 6:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The toilet gets clogged
ev'ry time I take a shit
regardless of size.
Haiku # 54497, September 20, 2016 6:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I should be working
instead of doing this shit
but I do not care.
Haiku # 54496, September 20, 2016 5:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
She removes her teeth
ev'ry time she sucks my dick.
Laugh all you want to.
Haiku # 54495, September 20, 2016 5:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need some mushrooms.
Yellow caps grow around here.
Good carabao poop.
Haiku # 54494, September 20, 2016 5:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I will not wear shoes.
All day long I'll go barefoot.
Cleaning the pig stalls.
Haiku # 54493, September 20, 2016 5:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lithium was in
original 7-Up
to bring you back down.
Haiku # 54492, September 20, 2016 5:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Original Coke
made with good old real cocaine.
Where's the recipe?
Haiku # 54491, September 20, 2016 5:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Now it is half done.
But I'd like to masturbate
then have a long rest.
Haiku # 54490, September 20, 2016 5:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Satisfying hack.
The luggi splats on the wall.
And there it will dry.
Haiku # 54489, September 20, 2016 5:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm touching myself.
At least I think that that's me.
No wait, that's not me.
Haiku # 54488, September 20, 2016 5:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rape Charles Dickens.
Go back in time and fuck him.
Poverty is dull.
Haiku # 54487, September 20, 2016 5:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Please pinch my nipples,
slap my butt, and call me Sue.
Or else I will poo.
Haiku # 54486, September 20, 2016 5:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm fucking tired.
Up all Goddamn night working.
This will help me sleep.
Haiku # 54485, September 20, 2016 5:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lizards don't jack off.
I'm glad I'm not a lizard.
But I would fuck one.
Haiku # 54484, September 20, 2016 5:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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